"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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She doesnt want a title?

Juicyjays

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Herrow.

I've been seeing this woman for 2 months now. She's great. We have insane amounta of svx, she sleeps over at my place 3-4 times a week, we're both having a lot of fun. She stated from the first date we had (which within an hour led to 4 days of her sleeping over and fvcking non stop) that she's not looking for a relationship and just got out of one. A week later she said she doesnt want a title. I was cool with that.

Fast forward a month. She is really into me. She almost said she loved me when she was drunk and kept calling me her man, so I was calling her my girlfriend. She was going to Cuba the day after for a week and I told her she can do whom she pleases (we talked about this the first week we were dating), I'll do the same when shes gone. She agreed, seemed relieved.

Comes back, states she fvcked two guys, I fvcked my old buddy. I was totally cool with it, we continue on. Said she'll be a good girl now that shes back, I said I will be too.

Take her out for her bday three days ago. Hotel room, awesome dinner. She told me it was one of the best days shes ever had before. Keeps callin me her man.

Yesterday she comes over, says we need to talk. Says she feels like everything is feeling rushed and that she does not want a title on us. Says it's going to be a little different between us, now that we're going 'slower'. Tell her no problem, totally understand. She had plans with her friend, said screw it and slept over here with me again. Still sleeping in my bed.

What do I do with a female with this mindset? Perhaps I am at fault and I really should slow down. Any game plans I can do here guys? This woman has met my family too (she wanted to) and absolutely loves them. It's like we're exclusive... but not?
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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pipe007

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If you have any attachment to this particular girl, then you already lost... This girl has no desire for a romantic relationship
And wants her freedom... Quit being a
Dumbass and go meet other girls.
Use this one as a side dish. Other than that, you are destined for failure with this chick.
 

Maximus Rex

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Listen to These

Juicyjays said:
She stated from the first date we had (which within an hour led to 4 days of her sleeping over and fvcking non stop)
You messed up in the game by not sending her home in the morning. You spent entirely too much time with her. This was an "emotional overload."

Juicyjays said:
This woman has met my family too (she wanted to) and absolutely loves them.
You need to listen to these podcasts, courtesy of Harry Wilimington.

16: Stop Introducing Her to Your Friends So Soon

http://www.stoplosingwomen.com/page/13/


Juicyjays said:
so I was calling her my girlfriend.
Episode 30: Stop Making Her The Girlfriend Too Soon

http://www.stoplosingwomen.com/page/12/

Juicyjays said:
Take her out for her bday three days ago.
Episode 61: Stop Inviting Her to do Holiday Stuff

http://www.stoplosingwomen.com/page/8/

Juicyjays said:
I've been seeing this woman for 2 months now. She's great.She stated from the first date we had (which within an hour led to 4 days of her sleeping over and fvcking non stop) that she's not looking for a relationship and just got out of one. A week later she said she doesnt want a title. I was cool with that.
Episode103: Stop Freaking Out When She Says She Wants to Take It Slow (Stop Losing Women Mailbag #10)

http://www.stoplosingwomen.com/slw0103/

Episode 108: What to Do When She Wants to “Take It Slow” (Stop Losing Women Mailbag #10)

http://www.stoplosingwomen.com/page/4/

Episode 109: Responding to F-Buddy’s “Don’t Want a Relationship” Speech

http://www.stoplosingwomen.com/page/3/

Episode 117: 10 Necessary Discussion for Long Term Relationships

http://www.stoplosingwomen.com/page/3/
 
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Alvafe

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well for the whole the sleep with 2 guys in cuba, one week out and she sleep around 2 guys? that do not looks like a girl into you, dude I sure who you don't ahve any romantic thing going on your head, she is not ltr material, just go along and **** her as long its fun to do so, but start to look around
 

bukowski_merit

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Back off a bit, let her chase. See what happens.

My instincts are saying 1) There's probably another guy in the picture; perhaps a returning ex. 2) You're treating her better than she's used to being treated; and with a girl like this - that can be a bad thing.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

BMX

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Bottom line is, you two need to try new positions.
 

Harry Wilmington

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@Maximus Rex: I swear, I should hire you as my podcast publicist, lol

Anyway... definitely check out episode 103, "Stop Freaking Out When She Says She Wants to Take it Slow."

At any rate, it's only been 2 months; as I say in the podcast, I don't even consider making them my girlfriend until month #3, and that's not even until she starts saying things like "so, are you seeing anyone else?" or "so, what are we?" Those kinds of phrases indicate she's ready to have a title - until then, do NOT feel the need to rush it or put pressure on anything.

Reality check: until you're ACTUALLY exclusive with her, you're NOT exclusive with her.

Which means she should NOT be getting "exclusive" privileges, which you're currently giving her. Celebrating her birthday? Nope, not until you're "exclusive." Meeting parents or friends? Nope, not until you're "exclusive." Buying her extravagant gifts and/or taking her to trips? Nope, not until you're exclusive. Seeing her for 4 days in a row? HECK no - what are you trying to do, kill challenge by over-exposing yourself to her until she becomes bored??

So, what should you be doing, then?

You have to make her understand that if she's not trying to be exclusive with you that other girls are - but you have to say it without saying it or sounding like you're bragging. Basically, you're using her own set up against her. Here's what you do...

Next time she hits you up and asks if she can come over, simply say "oh, I can't, I've already got other plans tonight..." She'll probably say something like "Oh, okay..." without questioning what your "plans" are. Or, she may say "plans, what plans?" Either way, don't give her a straight answer - just say "yeah... but anyway, I'll check out my schedule for this weekend/early next week and see what we can get into." Just leave it at that then hang up.

Honest to goodness, I did this before with a girl that was just trying to be my "friend..." 3 weeks later we were dating, and after I screwed her brains out she told me that one of the things that made her realize she wanted me was that I had blown her off one night when she wanted to see me, and that even though she didn't know if I had another date or not it made her "jealous." She questioned why she would be jealous about a guy who she just saw as a friend, to which she figured it must be because she likes me as more than one.

So, your best bet is to not act all butt-hurt by her actions and words, but instead amplify them - if she's saying she doesn't want a title but starts questioning why you're going out with other girls, you can say "well, you said you weren't looking to have a title, which is fine, but there might be other girls out there that are, so I'm just exploring all my options... why, are you feeling some kind of way about that?" Assuming she wants you for herself, that should lead into a convo about her suddenly wanting a title, lol.

That's all I got - hope this helps!
 

El Payaso

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Harry Wilmington said:
Next time she hits you up and asks if she can come over, simply say "oh, I can't, I've already got other plans tonight..." She'll probably say something like "Oh, okay..." without questioning what your "plans" are. Or, she may say "plans, what plans?" Either way, don't give her a straight answer - just say "yeah... but anyway, I'll check out my schedule for this weekend/early next week and see what we can get into." Just leave it at that then hang up.

Honest to goodness, I did this before with a girl that was just trying to be my "friend..." 3 weeks later we were dating, and after I screwed her brains out she told me that one of the things that made her realize she wanted me was that I had blown her off one night when she wanted to see me, and that even though she didn't know if I had another date or not it made her "jealous." She questioned why she would be jealous about a guy who she just saw as a friend, to which she figured it must be because she likes me as more than one.

So, your best bet is to not act all butt-hurt by her actions and words, but instead amplify them - if she's saying she doesn't want a title but starts questioning why you're going out with other girls, you can say "well, you said you weren't looking to have a title, which is fine, but there might be other girls out there that are, so I'm just exploring all my options... why, are you feeling some kind of way about that?" Assuming she wants you for herself, that should lead into a convo about her suddenly wanting a title, lol.

That's all I got - hope this helps!
It's stuff like this that just turns me off about some women. I should say girls because that's what they really are. Smh. I use it but damn, you have to use these little tricks on them like puppets.
 

Greasy Pig

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An old saying is: "If you see her more than twice a week, she's your girlfriend"
Cut back on the meetings. Yes, getting laid is fun but you're spending way too much time with a chick who craves random c0cks.
You're treating her like a queen when she hasn't earned that privilege.
And the fact you're available too see/fvck her so much will be signalling to her that you have no other options and will therefore put up with her sh1tty behaviour.
Maximus Rex and good ol' Harry are spot on.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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