she doesnt feel attractive?

[nubian-knight]

k ive been seeing this girl for like 3 - 4 months now. evreythings great and she really likes me, does whatver she can to make me happy...despite a few stupid fights we're happy, power is equally distributed, good sex all that

the problem is she says she feels unattractive around me and alot of our fights are surounded around her ex-bf who shel mention when i get angry at her. she says she only ever brings him up because he use to make her feel like the most beautiful girl in the world while i make her feel ugly.

she says im perfect in every way, much better looking then him etc which is why shes happy but she feels like im never enough for her

sound like her own insecurities? when i tell her shes beautiful she thinks im just saying it out of formality. i told her i do what i can but its her own issues not mine


anyone have any take on this

 

[MCristo]

She's being an attention *****. Clearly you are buying her bull****.

 

[leeroyjenkins]

fake it, compliment her a bit more, when you next meet her stick your arms round her, look at her for a few seconds then kiss her...that always seems to work for me

 

[nubian-knight]

She's being an attention *****. Clearly you are buying her bull****.

maybe.....im not buying her bull**** i told her that theres only so much i can do and its her own lack of confidence thats causing her not to beleive me if i compliment her

im just thinking if theres anything more to it?

 

[Mavrick]

Drama queen! If she's bringing up her ex-bf and comparing me to him, I'd dump her. She obviously doesn't value you enough to respect you whether it's an insecurity or not. Put your foot down and tell her that she can't play that game with you anymore, and if she does, you'll walk because you can't live like that. Don't be mean and don't yell, but be firm. Show her that you have self-respect whether she does or not.

Would you let a friend compare you to another friend and tell you that you're not as good a friend as him? NO, I don't think you would.

 

[nubian-knight]

Drama queen! If she's bringing up her ex-bf and comparing me to him, I'd dump her. She obviously doesn't value you enough to respect you whether it's an insecurity or not. Put your foot down and tell her that she can't play that game with you anymore, and if she does, you'll walk because you can't live like that. Don't be mean and don't yell, but be firm. Show her that you have self-respect whether she does or not.

Would you let a friend compare you to another friend and tell you that you're not as good a friend as him? NO, I don't think you would.

i got her completely whipped though....she only mentions her ex about how much better i am then her EXCEPT for that she felt good abou her looks around him and not around me

 

[leeroyjenkins]

Drama queen! If she's bringing up her ex-bf and comparing me to him, I'd dump her. She obviously doesn't value you enough to respect you whether it's an insecurity or not. Put your foot down and tell her that she can't play that game with you anymore, and if she does, you'll walk because you can't live like that. Don't be mean and don't yell, but be firm. Show her that you have self-respect whether she does or not.

Would you let a friend compare you to another friend and tell you that you're not as good a friend as him? NO, I don't think you would.

good point...although my advice to you at the moment would be - if she does it again, start dating other girls and when you have an attractive enough lifeboat, leave this ship! well...give her a good hard fvck then leave :woo:

 

[nubian-knight]

hmmm dump her if she keeps it up?.....i just took it for insecurity and a demonstartion of how she feels inferior around me as means that shel try n do what she can to impress me

cuz like in terms of evreything shes completely perfect, cept for these little self pity speeches

 

[Mavrick]

You need to control the frame with her.

How often does she bring it up and when does she bring it up?

 

[nubian-knight]

You need to control the frame with her.

How often does she bring it up and when does she bring it up?

maybe 2 - 3 times ever

when we fight

 

[Mavrick]

Oh, well. No, big deal. She's just angry and just saying something to get under your skin.

Next time you fight, let her win. Agree with her on an end note. Then back off for a little while. Then she'll probably feel bad for saying it.

 

[nubian-knight]

Oh, well. No, big deal. She's just angry and just saying something to get under your skin.

Next time you fight, let her win. Agree with her on and end note. Then back off for a little while. Then she'll probably feel bad for saying it.

im very impulsive and when something bothers me i make it known i have no problem leaving her....but i want a relationship now and shes a good girl

how do i kno when she says things she doesnt mean "out of anger" and when is a respect issue

 

[Mavrick]

You should learn to control yourself. Don't let her know things she does bother you. If she can control your emotions, then she'll get worse. Girls love guys that don't allow them to get in their heads and under their skin. Go with the flow.

Are you controlling, obsessive, overbearing, or jealous? If you are insecure in your relationship, then you are insecure with yourself. If you are secure with yourself, then you won't worry about trivial things like this.