"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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She doesn't call. Should I?

B

Bonhomme

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How hot is she for you?

She senses that you value her more than she does you, and is scared off by it.

Has anything "physical" happened on those dates? Is there real "chemistry," meaning does she get "touchy-feely," stay close to you, etc.?

If not, forget about her romantically. Nothing's gonna happen.

If so, and only if so, then she might miss it if you leave her alone for a while and call later. Back off, and -- to quote a very apt David DeAngelo-ism -- give her the gift of missing you.

She can probably sense your interest level, and either has "cold feet," and wants to slow down, or simply does not share your interest. Whether it's "A" or "B" simply depends upon the level of mutual chemistry, which you can only gauge by what she does physically.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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R

Reed247

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this girl

"She occasionally stands outside of my office door and gives me sexy dances. Which she lets me record on my phone"


She is having fun leading you on. OR she wants to f*ck you and expects you to be a man and call.
I hate that women's liberation crap. Women today seem to want to play men's roles. Men should always call the woman to set up a date not vice versa.
I have dated girls who try to take my place, and they do in in subtley. I usually let them know who is the man. You should be calling her and asking her out, and if she doesn't want to get together then stop flirting with her at work. She enjoys the fact that you drool over her.
 
T

tmpgstx

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Sounds like your typical AW. Are you a manager or something? Could be caressing her ego by getting interest from someone in higher position of the company.

She has no serious intention of getting with you, at least no decently .. your friend knows her? That's interesting. If she's not asking him about you, then there isn't any interest beyond getting attention for kicks.
 
T

tmpgstx

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Kewl.. it sounds like to me though she's keeping you on the back burner for a 'just-in-case' scenerio. I'm thinking she has a BF and things may be a bit unstable, and getting you on deck, but still involved with someone else.

This is why it's probably a she call you thing, and not the other way around. Don't want the BF knowing anything is up. Mike must know if she has bf?
 
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