"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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She counter offered but for 2 weeks later

Asbury

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Yo, first post. Seeing major improvements with women over the past 12-18 months. Happy to find places like this.

I matched this girl on tinder, exactly my type. Chatted to her, asked her out and got her number. I asked her out for this week but she said she's away for 2 weeks and suggested we date then instead. The number she gave me is 100% her.

How do I proceed in terms of asking her out again? I don't wanna lose the momentum but don't wanna set a date too far in advance. Advice?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Roober

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two weeks is wayyyy too far in advance. I would do 7 days max....

I am curious on this too...

a) Just tell her to hit you up when you get back, then build a bit of rapport over text for two weeks?
b) or just hit her up in a couple weeks?
 

Asbury

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Yea, I'm not gonna set a date right now. I was gonna wait until a week in advance and set something up. Should I maintain contact in the meantime?

I'm dating another chick this week and then 1-2 different ones the following week so not focussing on one but this girl is basically exactly my type so I don't wanna **** up.

Also have a very important job interview (not 100% sure on exact date) in the next 3 weeks. This will be my primary focus but I don't want this to get in the way.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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bigneil

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I did this to a girl this week because I don't really want to see her anymore. I like my new girl more but I don't want to tell the other girl it's over forever.
 

sazc

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I would gauge her level of interest and tell her to text you when she is free. Then be ready to set an actual date, specific day/time. If she cant make it she will counter if she is interested.
 

wifehunter

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doc love says "in romantic relationships, you can't go too slow."

I agree with him.

Also, I don't remember who said it..."give them plenty of rope, and see if they hang themselves."
 

bigneil

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doc love says "in romantic relationships, you can't go too slow."

I agree with him.

Also, I don't remember who said it..."give them plenty of rope, and see if they hang themselves."
That might have been me.

Indeed "Love never dies of starvation, but often of indigestion".

However, Doc Love also says "Remember guys, if you haven't heard back after two weeks, it's over forever" (The System).
 

wifehunter

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However, Doc Love also says "Remember guys, if you haven't heard back after two weeks, it's over forever" (The System).
Nah, depends on the situation and personalties. I've gone over three months of NC (boyfriend/jealously test), only to have a girl chasing after that.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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bigneil

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Nah, depends on the situation and personalties. I've gone over three months of NC (boyfriend/jealously test), only to have a girl chasing after that.
Happy one year anniversary at SS!

On my last date my girl expressed paranoia that I hadn't called her for nearly 2 weeks earlier that month. I may have missed a text from her at the time or something because I thought she was avoiding me but it seemed to really hurt her feelings (especially when I missed her birthday to hold out). She seemed to go on this random tirade about how she will never chase a man no matter what (though she did eventually reach out, she seemed resentful for my making her chase me).

I said "The only way a new relationship like ours can work is if we can go 2-3 weeks without hearing from one another and know that everything is ok". She loved hearing that, but it's easier said than done.
 
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BeTheChange

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However, Doc Love also says "Remember guys, if you haven't heard back after two weeks, it's over forever" (The System).
This is such horesh*t.

Women have lives just like men do. It's like the concept of confident persistence and spinning plates is dead on these forums.

The creator of SoSuave gets it. From the article (bolded emphasis mine):

1) You can give up, move on, NEXT HER! And look for someone who is more interested in you.

This is a popular strategy among men who are beginning to learn the "game." It's the easy and safe way of dealing with women. And it's what many guys learn to do as they get older, and begin realizing how much time they have wasted pursuing women who weren't interested in them.

Of course, the bad thing about NEXTing a girl is that you DON'T GET THE GIRL.

And the most common mistake that guys make when employing this strategy is NEXTing a woman too soon. They flirt with a woman, and she doesn't flirt back - NEXT. They leave a message on her machine, and she doesn't call back - NEXT. They plan a date but she calls at the last minute to cancel - NEXT.

In short, they NEXT any woman who doesn't display IMMEDIATE HIGH INTEREST.

What's wrong with this you say?

Well the MISTAKE here is that you're filtering women based simply upon their INITIAL level of interest in you. You're filtering women based upon whether they are IMMEDIATELY attracted to you or not.

This is a WEAK strategy and not one employed by a true Don Juan. It reeks of low confidence, a fragile ego, and fear.

And it's also a BAD strategy.
 
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bigneil

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I don't agree with all of Doc Love but he was one of the original and best dating coaches. The System and his theory of Interest Level is great. Remember, seduction theory for men is new and was born out of second wave Femimism (also, as of 2000, there were 6 single men for every woman (not married, no kids, childbearing age). That's because the Baby Boomers cherry picked (pardon the pun) Generation X). They were older with more money. I think what Doc Love meant with 2 weeks was, if you ask her out and she doesn't respond within 2 weeks, drop that date idea (or her) forever.

I just waited my gf out 6 days. She had sent a "See you soon (red heart)".... last week, then went on a 4 day trip. I did not reach out to her at all. Sometimes girls don't take trips. Sometimes the trips take them. We've all been dating a girl who went away and came back a new woman (who didn't want us anymore). I took the time off to detach and prepare myself just in case. But I just woke up to realize she texted "Thinking of you" at 3am. My heart sung. Burlesque photo shoot tomorrow.
 

bigneil

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I found this and it summarizes my one foot out the door philosophy:

"2 – Being willing to walk away. Prepare to walk away. Have an exit strategy ready for every relationship in your life. Every single person in your life should be deathly afraid that this time will be the last time they ever see you if they **** up this encounter with you. When you’ve clearly demonstrated that you don’t give a f*ck, you have options in life, and you blow-off and don’t tolerate **** tests and disrespect, people quit dishing out disrespect in your direction and start bending over backward to make sure you’re pleased with them.

Women should be afraid of losing you.... this used to be dating 101: If you suck and don’t make me happy, I will leave. Somehow, people forgot this and now when a woman makes us unhappy, we’re supposed to communicate, get counseling, go for months without sex, give backrubs, fold laundry, and forgive her when she f*cks another guy who doesn’t put up with sh|t like that."


https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill...ems_from_the_ability/?st=iwhclzro&sh=3d5702e5
 

bigneil

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"It doesn’t matter how large of a pile of sh!t you’re handing out. It will never be worth the tiniest gold nugget."
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Trump

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Yo, first post. Seeing major improvements with women over the past 12-18 months. Happy to find places like this.

I matched this girl on tinder, exactly my type. Chatted to her, asked her out and got her number. I asked her out for this week but she said she's away for 2 weeks and suggested we date then instead.

The number she gave me is 100% her.

How do I proceed in terms of asking her out again? I don't wanna lose the momentum but don't wanna set a date too far in advance. Advice?
I always wonder where girls go when they are 'away' for 2 weeks. Their job isn't sending them overseas. They are likely not rich they have vacation homes all over the world. They are not heads of state or international politicians.

Bro you don't ask her out again. You almost don't say anything. Her job to contact you after being 'away' for 2 weeks. o_O
 

bigneil

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I always wonder where girls go when they are 'away' for 2 weeks. Her job to contact you after being 'away' for 2 weeks. o_O
This is true in most cases, but also remember the key to maintaining several relationships over the long term is to not care when they go away for 2 weeks. You need to trust that they care enough. When a woman loves you, no other man can destroy her love for you. They will only remind her of you by virtue of being lesser men. Once I had several options with beautiful women, I realized that none of them could impact the one I loved the most, even with sex or their being younger or prettier. That made me realize (and this was confirmed) that being a stripper makes them love their significant other more over the long run, not less, because of all the chumps they meet. Remember that ex-boyfriend of hers that she never got over? You want to be that guy. He doesn't care that she hasn't called in 2 weeks yet she still loves him. Albeit that only happens if you make her orgasm and then walk away.
 
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Asbury

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I always wonder where girls go when they are 'away' for 2 weeks. Their job isn't sending them overseas. They are likely not rich they have vacation homes all over the world. They are not heads of state or international politicians.

Bro you don't ask her out again. You almost don't say anything. Her job to contact you after being 'away' for 2 weeks. o_O
She said it was her birthday so went to london with friends and then home to see family. She gave an exact date when she's back and suggested the following weekend. You still think NC?
 

Asbury

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Just to update on this: I have arranged a date with her for Sunday.

I had a little chit chat with her over whatsapp on friday but without too much substance. Just maintaining the contact, which was sufficient.
 

RedZone

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I hate planning things in advance with girls. For one reason, lets say we make plans one a Thursday to meet Tuesday. That's like 4 or 5 days to change her mind. So much better to be spontaneous or make plans one or two nights before. The longer you wait for the date the better chance she flakes or moves on to different plans with a differnt guy.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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