WELCOME TO 2008........HOT NEW TREND.........HAVING SOMEONE ON THE SIDE.
Lets get one thing straight before I go into this lesson, I am in no way, shape or form encouraging anyone to cheat on an exclusive, monogamous relationship. Relationships that work are based upon some sort of respect and mutual agreement. Most meaningful connections require attention and constant effort to last. Why do most people want to cheat? A few reasons come into play here. Sometimes monogamy leads to monotony, people get bored with the way things are. Variety is the spice of life-one day you crave meat the next you desire fish. The thrill of being adventurous, a little naughty can be addictive to some people. Loneliness is also a big motivator. If a person feels they are being neglected then, they might seek someone else to fill that void. You can call it selfish but for a ton of people getting their needs met is a top priority.
I am sure there are some psychological reasons why certain types find it difficult to stay faithful. I will not go there for two reasons. One) I am not qualified to go into details and Two) there are a ton of books out there that go into intricate details of how the mind works…….boring yet fascinating. The Internet & cell phones makes it all to easy to seek out adventure and TV makes it an acceptable form of behavior.. If a person has their mind set on cheating on you, then there is not much you can do to prevent them from doing so. If you want to avoid dating married people just tell potential dates if you find out they are married you will inform there spouse. Trust and respect have to be the foundation for relationships to survive.
The downsides to cheating on someone are obvious-risk of getting caught, making the other person jealous and angry, getting labeled a player or slut, home wrecker, the feeling of emptiness, losing everything and everyone involved and all the consequences that arise. A quick solution to this is to change your concept of dating. Date a few people, do not get too serious initially, hit it, and leave. Informing people from the start is honest and may seem noble, but most will not want to play that game. In this case, a little mystery can prevent a lot of explaining later on. From a player’s perspective; keeping names straight, hiding telephone numbers, having the perfect excuse are essential but do require some work, can get costly and time consuming. When I first started out dating, I had to put names, numbers, and brief notes on a date calendar to recall who was who. Women that troll for men on dating sites are bombarded with email offers. So some print out a person’s profile before they meet them. Most people don’t keep this up for very long, eventually they seek out the one. In today’s society I think there are those types of people that adopt the “having a man/chic on the side” is acceptable. I have met a ton of married women that are on the Internet seeking some sexual excitement. The swinger’s lifestyle is very open and very rampant on a few web sites. It’s no longer the sex-crazed nymphomaniac stereotype. Most people in this category have an extremely high sex drive and their partners are willing to participate. Once you start to swing, going back to traditional, monogamous sex seems to lack thrills. If you are single this can be fun but the novelty does get old after awhile. The F-buddy concept seems to work for some people. They get their sexual needs met and can still go out on regular dates. It is like exclusive sex until something better comes along. This is a quick fix alternative to cheating and is much more acceptable. Some obvious advice is needed here---protection (condoms), be attentive of a person’s feelings, keep it on a need to know basis……if they don’t ask don’t volunteer any info. Try to keep emotions out of the equation, don’t get involved too much or you run the risk of one person developing feelings and wanting it to progress to something more than just sex. Don’t make it out for more than it is…………SEX!!!
Lets get one thing straight before I go into this lesson, I am in no way, shape or form encouraging anyone to cheat on an exclusive, monogamous relationship. Relationships that work are based upon some sort of respect and mutual agreement. Most meaningful connections require attention and constant effort to last. Why do most people want to cheat? A few reasons come into play here. Sometimes monogamy leads to monotony, people get bored with the way things are. Variety is the spice of life-one day you crave meat the next you desire fish. The thrill of being adventurous, a little naughty can be addictive to some people. Loneliness is also a big motivator. If a person feels they are being neglected then, they might seek someone else to fill that void. You can call it selfish but for a ton of people getting their needs met is a top priority.
I am sure there are some psychological reasons why certain types find it difficult to stay faithful. I will not go there for two reasons. One) I am not qualified to go into details and Two) there are a ton of books out there that go into intricate details of how the mind works…….boring yet fascinating. The Internet & cell phones makes it all to easy to seek out adventure and TV makes it an acceptable form of behavior.. If a person has their mind set on cheating on you, then there is not much you can do to prevent them from doing so. If you want to avoid dating married people just tell potential dates if you find out they are married you will inform there spouse. Trust and respect have to be the foundation for relationships to survive.
The downsides to cheating on someone are obvious-risk of getting caught, making the other person jealous and angry, getting labeled a player or slut, home wrecker, the feeling of emptiness, losing everything and everyone involved and all the consequences that arise. A quick solution to this is to change your concept of dating. Date a few people, do not get too serious initially, hit it, and leave. Informing people from the start is honest and may seem noble, but most will not want to play that game. In this case, a little mystery can prevent a lot of explaining later on. From a player’s perspective; keeping names straight, hiding telephone numbers, having the perfect excuse are essential but do require some work, can get costly and time consuming. When I first started out dating, I had to put names, numbers, and brief notes on a date calendar to recall who was who. Women that troll for men on dating sites are bombarded with email offers. So some print out a person’s profile before they meet them. Most people don’t keep this up for very long, eventually they seek out the one. In today’s society I think there are those types of people that adopt the “having a man/chic on the side” is acceptable. I have met a ton of married women that are on the Internet seeking some sexual excitement. The swinger’s lifestyle is very open and very rampant on a few web sites. It’s no longer the sex-crazed nymphomaniac stereotype. Most people in this category have an extremely high sex drive and their partners are willing to participate. Once you start to swing, going back to traditional, monogamous sex seems to lack thrills. If you are single this can be fun but the novelty does get old after awhile. The F-buddy concept seems to work for some people. They get their sexual needs met and can still go out on regular dates. It is like exclusive sex until something better comes along. This is a quick fix alternative to cheating and is much more acceptable. Some obvious advice is needed here---protection (condoms), be attentive of a person’s feelings, keep it on a need to know basis……if they don’t ask don’t volunteer any info. Try to keep emotions out of the equation, don’t get involved too much or you run the risk of one person developing feelings and wanting it to progress to something more than just sex. Don’t make it out for more than it is…………SEX!!!
