She cancels 3rd date

[Lateralus]

Thanks for the advice. I'll go for the 3/4 rule, I'm definitely not giving any response tonight. If she needs attention tonight, she shouldn't have cancelled the appointment.
I won't give in!

Jusr received a third text: 'does it really take so long to think about this? '

Nr 4: 'Ok, you got me! You don't have to respond, I just wanted to let you know that I didn't mean it in a negative way. The date just didn't fit in today, because I wanted to take it easy after the exams. Good night.'

 

[MatureDJ]

I'm a little confused right now.

I've been dating this woman (23 y/o) for three weeks now. We actually had two dates after we met, and already had sex. All the 'signs' were like she was really into me. Many same interests, music, she initiated texting almost every day, etc...

We set up a third date for tomorrow in the afternoon and she just called to cancel it, because her week was so busy and she needs time to rest. Which I believe, 'cause it was a very busy week for her. So no problem but...

Just put her in the back of your harem. Tell her to call you when she is busy, and you just go on your way macking. Actually, the fact that she has had sex with you makes it encouraging that there is still a high level of interest.

One thing I've learned is that women's games about not being available disappear when they realize that they are in competition with other women - it's really amazing!

 

[Zunder]

Ah four texts from her. Now you can move in with a simple text. "Why you all hett up". Or, "Im chilling" or something out of left field from Roissy "Bring the Movies".
Bascially - text her like you dont give a ****, and youve turned it around so you make her think shes getting into an epi fit about it all - you then regain the frame.

 

[Nutz]

I'm a little confused right now.

I've been dating this woman (23 y/o) for three weeks now. We actually had two dates after we met, and already had sex. All the 'signs' were like she was really into me. Many same interests, music, she initiated texting almost every day, etc...

We set up a third date for tomorrow in the afternoon and she just called to cancel it, because her week was so busy and she needs time to rest. Which I believe, 'cause it was a very busy week for her. So no problem but...

In the same phone call, she didn't reschedule or anything. Instead, she said she was very busy next week and was full every evening. I didn't even asked her for that information, she just gave it. She made plans for tommorow night: going out with her friends. That, she didn't cancel... Quite obvious what her priorities are.

I was eating when she called, and a little surprised. So I didn't give much of a reaction, except: ''ok''. But after the call I started thinking.

I'd like to see your honest opinions about this one. I feel like she just NEXT'd me, but I'm not sure. Since she has always initiated texting, I expect she will do this again. But how should I react? 'cause I truly feel like **** right now.

Thx.

Don't chase. If anything, you NOT chasing could trip her up.

"Wait, why isn't he calling? All the other guys get needy and call. Oh god he must be different! I need to not let this one go! Please give me attention! VALIDATE ME!!!"

That's the rationalization hamster in a nutshell by going "no contact" on a woman and why it often times gets them to come back to you instead of the normal way of guys chasing the woman. Yay for flipping the script.

Yeah guys, that's right. I'll wait if she initiate contact next week, otherwise I'll delete her from FB, erase her number and move on.

Dont' do this guys. When they go dead air like this, give it a month and do what I call zombie game. Just sent out a mass texts to all the girls like this to put the feelers out. Deleting all their contact details is premature.

Update: She just texted me, asking how my day was. I didn't reply.

Second text: she apologizes and says she thinks that I really disliked that she cancelled yesterday.

Still nothing about a new date proposal, so her words mean **** to me.

My advice in action! No contact is being non-reactive, which drives them up the wall from the lack of validation/attention. The next step here is to do low investment texting when she re-initiated contact. She'll get the point that your interest dropped because she fvcked up. It's qualification through subtext.

Thanks for the advice. I'll go for the 3/4 rule, I'm definitely not giving any response tonight. If she needs attention tonight, she shouldn't have cancelled the appointment.
I won't give in!

Jusr received a third text: 'does it really take so long to think about this? '

Nr 4: 'Ok, you got me! You don't have to respond, I just wanted to let you know that I didn't mean it in a negative way. The date just didn't fit in today, because I wanted to take it easy after the exams. Good night.'

Nice! All you have to do now is reply back with "hey, what's up. Been super busy today" or somethign thereabouts. Tell her you want to hit happy hour and can meet her x night and go from there. (replace happy hour with whatever low-investment date you wish to have)

Thx, I will follow your advice, guys . Already chatting up with some female associates haha. But this one is the first contraction of oneitis since my ex-GF.

Anyway, another interesting thing to add, because many of us enjoy analysing things:

At our first date, approx two weeks after we met, we talked a lot. And we got to a point that she told me she is not into one-night stands, that she had one in her life but it was horrible. She also mentioned it was almost 1 year ago she had sex.

But at the same night, it was on... at her place. At the second date, it was on also as I banged her in my appartment.

Isn't that a good example of words versus actions?

Actually it was bothering me, 'cause her actions show that the chance is very high she's telling me pure bull****.

On the other hand, after the second sexual encounter she said something like: 'Oh... it's been so long that I forgot how nice it is to lay in bed next to someone...' This remark I thought of as a positive thing.

Anyhow, it shows how much some women, impulsively, rely on their feelings and not on rational thoughts.

Women offer sex to alphas who they don't expect relationships from. On the other hand, they withhold sex from betas whom they want to have relationships with. It makes sense in the perspective that women respond to 5 minutes of alpha as a month of being with a beta. They give it up to alphas because they need to get when the getting is good, because they instinctually know he could be gone, off to better women than herself. They're no time to fuss around. With betas this isn't the case. It sounds to me that the OP tripped the alpha sex guy, but moved into beta provider boyfriend mode and turned her off. A lot of guys new to the community do this if they haven't completed the full self-improvement process. By going low-investment and cutting off contact temporarily it reframes you again as the alpha sex guy and gets them chasing again.


Bottom line: Spinning plates is the way to go. It helps fix a lot of the problems guys normally have by becoming too focused on one woman. Having lots of women in your life automatically divides your attention in a way that you are naturally low-interest which makes guys naturally attractive for some reason. There's other things in play as well that guys with women in their life naturally subcommunicate that also makes them more appealing.

 

[Aaron B]

has this woman earned access to more of your time and attention?

this is all a power play. she's trying to position herself to have the upper hand should a long term relationship develop

she either jumps thru your hoops, or you jump thru hers

 

[Lateralus]

Sorry guys for this late reaction. I really appreciate the advise...
I recently lost a loved relative, had a very hard week because of that, and shortly after that she 'dumped' me. She has no special feelings for me, she said.
The combination of these events really make me feel angry and like **** at the same time.

I instany blocked every possible contact... Oh, and she told me by texting.

 

[Iceberg]

Sorry guys for this late reaction. I really appreciate the advise...
I recently lost a loved relative, had a very hard week because of that, and shortly after that she 'dumped' me. She has no special feelings for me, she said.
The combination of these events really make me feel angry and like **** at the same time.

I instany blocked every possible contact... Oh, and she told me by texting.

The main thing you need to realize....you had 2 dates with her. That's nothing.

You have to toughen up a bit and stop taking women so seriously. Especially a girl you've seen twice.

She told you by texting? I would have too. You guys barely know each other...this "break up" doesn't warrant a phone call.

 

[gaspipe]

I agree with Ice. Only two dates? Thats nothing dude. It doesn't even constitute a relationship so I don't even think she had standing to dump you.

 

[Lateralus]

You guys are so right... Time to get my balls back.

 

[dankane]

You'll be good bro, you got laid, props, keep moving forward.

Good thing you didn't invest anything substantial into that.

Keep your freedom! The path you are on will lead to massive successes. Get past yourself first.

 

[Lateralus]

Thanks bro!

Yesterday I picked up a girl in a club and kissed her. Feeling a lot better already .

 

[EastWind]

This:

We set up a third date for tomorrow in the afternoon and she just called to cancel it, because her week was so busy and she needs time to rest. Which I believe, 'cause it was a very busy week for her. So no problem but...

And this:

Nr 4: 'Ok, you got me! You don't have to respond, I just wanted to let you know that I didn't mean it in a negative way. The date just didn't fit in today, because I wanted to take it easy after the exams. Good night.'

I love having fun right after my exams, what about you? What do you think she likes to do after exams?

I would say you're done, and move on.

 

[Lateralus]

Yes, EastWind, those were the first signs. It's all so much clearer for me now.

I've been reading this:
http://rationalmale.wordpress.com/category/the-matrix/

I guess I plugged myself back in the Matrix... But I'm happy to say I've opened my eyes again (and they don't hurt so much as the did, when I used them for the first time).

 

[J Roc]

maybe she didnt like the sex...