"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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She cancelled on me but says she owes me?

EternalStudent

Don Juan
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Hey, DJ's.


I had a coffee date planned with a new girl I met. I knew she previously had other plans later in the evening. Several hours before our date, she left me a message saying she hated to say it, but she couldn't make it that night and that she owes me and was sorry. I didn't respond to her message.


I understand flakiness is part of the game, but she did apologize for canceling and said she owed me.

Should I call her (it's been a few days) to set something up or wait for her to call? I have no objections to calling her, but if you folks do, let me know!

Also, since she said she owes me, I was planning on escalating past the coffee date to something like a trip to the zoo.

Suggestions?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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penkitten

Master Don Juan
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sheesh!
can you tell that she was being sincere?
come on, she hated to call you and break the date, she apologized and even said she owes you another date.
you already knew she had previous plans, perhaps she couldn't get out of them like she was hoping to, perhaps she couldn't be late for them either.
that isn't flaking.
cut her some slack, she is interested in you.
you disregarded her message and you didn't respond.
she was showing you respect and common courtesy by calling, and you disregarded it.
 

insidious

Master Don Juan
Joined
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EternalStudent, this woman owes you nothing.

Ask her out again and stop fixating on this "owing" business. You don't even know her, and you sure as hell have no collateral for this "loan" lol.

And besides, women will revert to the "I'm sorry, I owe you" thing 9 times out of 10 to assuage their weird misplaced guilt even if they have absolutely no intention of ever making it good again.
 
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