she broke nc again. advice please.

[seethehoop]

Ok so long story short.

ex got back in contract after years.
both of us in a ltr.
She splits up, shortly after that I'm coming out of mine but it's more complicated. i live with my ltr etc.
She gets hump on cos she thought id made a clean brake and goes nc on me for six weeks.
She breaks this to say she wants to be friends but also tries sticking the knife in by saying she has a new bf and it's going well.
I don't respond.
She breaks nc again with some random sh!t but again i don't respond.

That's it nothing until just now when she messaged me...."are we allowed to be friends yet??"

So my question is. Do i respond?
I'm only considering it to show some level of indifference otherwise it may seem childish now to continue in ignoring her.

Btw, the message was on Facebook.

 

[perseverance]

I'd just ignore it if I was you. The past is the past, focus on the present and build for the future...

 

[Buddha_Mind]

depends if you want to be her friend or not...clearly this woman is going to keep running you around....it's your choice if you want to talk to her again or not. Probably a lot of dudes here say next and never look back (that means not going down her rabbit hole of discussion)--but ultimately this is your decision and your call for what you want.

If you think she'll play nice-GF again after all the gunk you've both acquired...that may be a longshot....but she clearly wants to be your 'friend' and not be on 'negative terms'...that's all your choice at this point...

 

[georgie24]

she's waiving the bait and your gobbling it up

I can tell you still have feelings for her

I can also tell your a beta

YOU need to decide what you want and whats the best choice for you.

This chick sounds like poison and id steer clear

 

[Jair213]

dont respond. ignore her for eternity. dont fall for it bro.. infact block her ass on FACEBOOK.

 

[Purefilth]

Click BLOCK, DELETE, IGNORE HER!

 

[JohnChops]

No contact means no contact. Please do NOT end up like me, new and improved and still trying to get your ex back. Please just move the fvck on, dont even let her come into your head. NC MEANS NC! UPGRADE !

 

[ThatOneGuy]

No contact means no contact. Please just move the fvck on, dont even let her come into your head. NC MEANS NC! UPGRADE !

Word.

 

[seethehoop]

Thanks for the input. I was only considering a response for my own feelings of well being. I don't care for harbouring a grudge but in the end I don't care to be friends with her or anything else. It wouldn't work out after all this had gone on. I only care how I feel and tbh I don't think I want to respond. I want to better myself and walking away is the first step.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Mate, she broke no contact but is not even bothering to pretend you have a shot to her, she is clearly offering her friendship (which in women talking means she wants you as a orbiter or an ego boost once in a while).

There is no answer to give you because its the question to be wrong, a girl which gave you reason for a painful no contact, contacts you again to prove herself she still can get you and not only she doesnt promise you anything but she clearly say she is happy and is with a new guy.

What other kind of disrespect you need after being told you're only good to her as a non sexual validation object but not even worth the minimum respect to have it left indirect instead of being told openly.

Do youself a fking favour and ignore her.

Now some of the guys suggested you to block and delete as well, thats up to you but if you think you can keep the no contact and can control any temptation to reply to her, I suggest you to just keep her and ignore her totally.

Deleting her from friends is a reply as well showing you're butthurt or affected from her actions, while leaving things as before she contacted you as nothing happened is the real class touch.

However if you think you cannot manage the no contact and sooner or later you will reply then follow their suggestion and completely remove making her no existant.

One thing I can tell you for sure I repeat she doesnt respect you, she doesnt want you personally, you are just a factor which moved away from her control and she wants to take it back for her own ego.
In this case reconnecting to you just to throw you away once she got her validation.

ps. Im curious how much time passed between her first and following attempts to contact you.

 

[seethehoop]

@whodares. Your advice is sound. I'm not gonna contract her and I can resist her on Facebook so won't delete her. You have pretty much confirmed what I was thinking.

Time wise. Dated about 7 years ago. She contacted me about a year ago, mind games, flirting etc ensues. About 3 month ago she went nc for six weeks. She only broke this when I said I was walking away. This was when she said she had a new bf. About a month later she sent me a random message, that was beginning of July. Then again last night.

I personally think she either had an argument with the bf, he's not giving her the attention she wants or they have split up. Either way I think she was then thought of contacting me to give her attention. She ain't getting it!

 

[Atom Smasher]

Now some of the guys suggested you to block and delete as well, thats up to you but if you think you can keep the no contact and can control any temptation to reply to her, I suggest you to just keep her and ignore her totally.

Deleting her from friends is a reply as well showing you're butthurt or affected from her actions, while leaving things as before she contacted you as nothing happened is the real class touch.

However if you think you cannot manage the no contact and sooner or later you will reply then follow their suggestion and completely remove making her no existant.

One thing I can tell you for sure I repeat she doesnt respect you, she doesnt want you personally, you are just a factor which moved away from her control and she wants to take it back for her own ego.
In this case reconnecting to you just to throw you away once she got her validation.

WhoDares for the win. Especially his statement, "You are just a factor which moved away from her control..." Perfectly worded. She wants attention and validation and is using you to obtain it.

I would wait for a long period of inactivity and then delete her. This way it will be completely non-reactive and will send a strong message.