"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
She breaks up with her bf
- Thread starter Jizz
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
I actually recommend being a "nice" guy. Its ironic since i think any guy that messes with a rebounding girl is a douche and not a "nice" guy.
and for God's sake don't say something c&f like "What can't hold a guy?".
zerocelcius
Master Don Juan
Tomatoes
Master Don Juan
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
backbreaker
Master Don Juan
"Damn, that's messed up"
Learn it. Use it. Love it
That should be the answer to anything you say.
Of course, only listen for so long, because you don't want to be come a tampoon, but it's no way you are going to go from not fu ckign to ****ing and she just broke up with her ex without having to endure this
also keep in mind, whatever she tells you is her side of the story.
I used to feel so bad for my old oneitis because of the stuff she used to tell me about her ex. She played me like a fiddle. I never put two and two together.. I knew she had probelms, and the fact that her BF never did anything right and was a horrible BF.. for 3 and a half years
She said she hadnt had a good week, so i asked why, what happend, if she wanted to talk about it, she told me she had broke up with her bf, and that her nan died last night!
I replied "Damn, thats messed up, not a good week at all, im sorry to hear about your nan"
she said a lil about her nan, then i said, well look on the brightside, you have trip to disneyland coming up i hear (her friend told me this) and then i mentioned something about her picture on msn!
she said, its the only thing getting her through this week (her holiday) and then she told me she hadnt mentioned anything about her nan to her friends who i know and so could i not say anything to them!
i said sure of course, and then i said i had to go and to have a good holiday if i dont speak to her before!
i was kinda shocked that she told me about her nan before her best friends! anyone know any possible reasons for this?
did i handle it well, the nan thing kinda shocked me so i had to be kinda nice! but i didnt bring up anything about her bf!
on a side note, she knows i dont see her as just a friend, ive made it clear to her in the past!
It means that you are one step closer to becoming her emotional tampon. What do you think you are special?? lol . I have been there and you are putting yourself in that position.
In times like this you don't want her to think of you as the guy that will be there for her or cheer her up when she is down because she will associate you with her negative feelings. You want her to think of you sexually and not a fat huggable teddy bear.
When she starts feeling a bit better about it maybe in a couple of weeks you give her a call and tell her you are taking her out to a fun place because you tell her "you need it"( of coarse you will be sarging other women before hand and not wait for her). You take her to a bar and have a few drinks with her and pop a few jokes. Then you make a move on her. You might become her rebound (which means it will be short term) or you might become more. If she rejects you then move on, but stop analysing every little thing she says because its what she does that counts.
DjDamage
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Sorry Jizz, but what DJ Damage said is absolutely spot on!
I used to make this mistake too and feel honoured to have women confide in me, but I would ALWAYS end up in the friendzone being taken for granted.
If a girl (I'm interested in) wants to vent her problems, I'll politely say something like "No offence, but I'm not a good person to talk to about this. I can't even cope with my own problems".
In one case I said this to a girl, so she turned to my friend and laid all her problems on him. He was there for her whenever she called and was willing to listen. He felt honoured and thought he was in there, but she later told him he was too sweet and too good a friend to ever date and she'd hate to risk it. He was trapped in the friendzone. Soon after, me and this girl ended up making out in a club and we went on a few dates.
Basically, if you act like a friend, she will see you as a friend. If you act like a potential lover, she will see you as a potential lover!
DoubleA
Senior Don Juan
I think he meant to say ..."man".
Rebound Material
Master Don Juan
Wow, this thread caught my attention somehow...gee, i wonder what was so appealing about it.(sarcasm)rascal said:
ahhh, that whole time i thought i was being a nice guy i was actually a douche! wow!
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.