She blew me off stating she was just going to stay in and do some painting

[cfdagola]

Like the title says. She blew me off stating that she had a long work week next week as she'd be starting up her second job and wanted to just chill at her house for the weekend and do some painting.

to be fair we actually had plans on Friday which I cancelled a day before because it was raining and I didn't really want to do an outdoor styled date in the rain. So i said lets do a raincheck on those plans and she said she had plans saturday with her friend but if they fell through she was wondering if I wanted to hang out then.

I said yeah that sounds good. So the day went on and her plans did fall through around 5. And she hit me up stating that her plans fell through but was probably just gonna stay in and do some painting.

All i said was "K"

then she texted me saying saying that she had a hella busy schedule next week and really didn't wanna do anything. (which was kinda weird considering she was planning to hang with someone else that fell through.) and that she hopes i would understand.

NO response. She sent me two more text's trying to get my attention. I continued to ignore her and she send me two more text again trying to get my attention. One of them was a pic of one of her paintings.

again no response from me. then she started to make me feel guilty and asking for a reason why i'm ignoring her. to which i did respond.

Here's the thing. I know that the only acceptable reason's to flake on someone is an emergency but I feel in this situation I was overplaying my hand. Because our dynamic seems to have slightly shifted and she's more on guard now. Thoughts?

 

[Fireballs]

I wouldn't have agreed to be her second choice if her plans fell through. It makes you look like a man who is too available and has no options.

What was your response when she asked why you were ignoring her? Did you say something like ''Don't be silly I've been busy'' or did you call her out?

Her interest might be a bit low or she may just be annoyed that you cancelled the date because it was raining? Anyway I would call her and try to set up another date.

 

[cfdagola]

I wouldn't have agreed to be her second choice if her plans fell through. It makes you look like a man who is too available and has no options.

What was your response when she asked why you were ignoring her? Did you say something like ''Don't be silly I've been busy'' or did you call her out?

Her interest might be a bit low or she may just be annoyed that you cancelled the date because it was raining? Anyway I would call her and try to set up another date.

She was like why are you ignoring me don't be a baby.

I said i'm not ignoring you. I said "OK" where in that response do i communicate that i'm being a "baby".

she said because you're ignoring me. and not responding to my text's

I said "nice..."

then she began to text me per usual.

Also I think you're right about the low interest. I've suspected that for a few weeks now.

Any suggestion's on how to raise her interest? She still has attraction in me indicated by her coming at me when i ignored her so i still got that going. But i'm a bit lost at trying to get her to warm up more.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

Sounds like she was painting.....body painting, with some new d!ck to go with it.

Ok ok, perhaps not that extreme (or is it?) but the clear message that's being sent here is that she doesn't value you or your time enough to commit to making sure she can see you. Either you don't have high enough value in her eyes or she's trying to run things.

Always remember, when you're drowning in pvssy, stuff like this means nothing to you. Now go plan accordingly.

 

[foreverAFC]

LOL reading the title made me laugh hard

dont ever bother talking to her again, till the end of all eternity

 

[jimmy18]

"Painting" is more important to her than seeing you. Is that somebody you want in your life?

Ignore her unless she turns up on your doorstep naked

 

[cfdagola]

"Painting" is more important to her than seeing you. Is that somebody you want in your life?

Ignore her unless she turns up on your doorstep naked

lmao she really did do some painting. she's been trying to get more creative to spend her time on sunday's something we talked about in the past.

this is actually a back burner chick that I wanted to see if i could rekindle anything we've been talking off and on for about 4 years.

anyway since recently i've been telling her she should get back into some creative work because it helps with stress and i guess she took that to heart. obviously.

but yes i agree with you all. perhaps i'll just keep her as a platonic buddy and just keep it on the same level we've had for the last 3 years. because while there's attraction there's low interest. and you can't make anything happen with just attraction

which means the only time i'll be gettin her naked is if we're out drinking and the mood strikes here. which i suppose there's nothing wrong with that.

 

[Meisterman]

I think you made a good decision by keeping your cool distance and ignoring her first or second text. But eventually you have to ask yourself what you want with this girl.If you literally don't want to be with her, think of her, or invest any energy in her what so ever, then yes ignoring her would be a good move. But if you're using it as a means to get her back or make her attracted again, ummm well yeah it has a great chance of working, but eventually you ACTUALLY HAVE TO REPLY.. Again, if you don't want her then you can stay NC forever. But if you do, you just have to make her work for it. Make her hamster wheel spin, or like a rabbit on a treadmill trying to chase a carrot. Don't just give it to her easy. If she doesn't work for it then she isn't worth your time anyway. Only if she proves herself can you consider her worthy of a second chance.

But in this case it sounds like her hamster wheel has spun enough. I'd try to give it another go and meet up with her. If she flakes AGAIN, then comes the time to cut the chord for good. But you could still get some benefit out of this situation. BUT if you're too stubborn on trying to ignore her and act butthurt over it then you could be missing out on future opportunities and instead you're still thinking about a flake that happened 2 weeks ago.

***I should also add there is a subtle but very powerful difference between bitterness and indifference. Indifference is what you should be striving for. Ignoring 1 or 2 texts conveys indifference. Short, blunt replies also does. Ignoring her forever just makes you look bitter like you have some vengeance against her or something, which should never be the case. You gotta be cool. Like James Bond cool. Just don't let that sh*t get to you. And even if it does, play it off like "I got this sh*t"

 

[cfdagola]

I think you made a good decision by keeping your cool distance and ignoring her first or second text. But eventually you have to ask yourself what you want with this girl.If you literally don't want to be with her, think of her, or invest any energy in her what so ever, then yes ignoring her would be a good move. But if you're using it as a means to get her back or make her attracted again, ummm well yeah it has a great chance of working, but eventually you ACTUALLY HAVE TO REPLY.. Again, if you don't want her then you can stay NC forever. But if you do, you just have to make her work for it. Make her hamster wheel spin, or like a rabbit on a treadmill trying to chase a carrot. Don't just give it to her easy. If she doesn't work for it then she isn't worth your time anyway. Only if she proves herself can you consider her worthy of a second chance.

But in this case it sounds like her hamster wheel has spun enough. I'd try to give it another go and meet up with her. If she flakes AGAIN, then comes the time to cut the chord for good. But you could still get some benefit out of this situation. BUT if you're too stubborn on trying to ignore her and act butthurt over it then you could be missing out on future opportunities and instead you're still thinking about a flake that happened 2 weeks ago.

***I should also add there is a subtle but very powerful difference between bitterness and indifference. Indifference is what you should be striving for. Ignoring 1 or 2 texts conveys indifference. Short, blunt replies also does. Ignoring her forever just makes you look bitter like you have some vengeance against her or something, which should never be the case. You gotta be cool. Like James Bond cool. Just don't let that sh*t get to you. And even if it does, play it off like "I got this sh*t"

this isn't the first time i'm hearing this from someone

friends of ours some long gone some still there after all we have been off and on for several years.

but they would say the same thing. "what do you want from her"

we are so similar and hard headed that we keep stinging each other just to spite each other all the time. she does something i don't like i sting her the only way i can. ignore her. she stings back by being distant, short and guarded.

then she lets the walls down a little and we're good. then as the wall comes further down we start to talk more about our relationship in the past.

she tells me what i did wrong i tell her what she did wrong and we fight again because she won't admit she was wrong and i won't admit i'm wrong. then boom rinse and repeat. we've been doing this dance for a very long time that mutual friends think we're soul mates destined for a one way ticket to hell. lmao.

i seem to keep to keep the most complicated company. first fiance girl cheats and goes back to her beta bucks then i shuffle to this girl and ignite a slow burning fuse that's attached to a nuclear bomb. However this is the only girl regardless of who she's dating or who i'm dating that we always seem to be drawn to each other despite it all. And we perpetually string each other along just spinning our wheels going nowhere.

sucks to be me i guess lol.

 

[Greasy Pig]

As Rollo says: A woman who is passionately interested in you won't confuse you and will try to maximise her time with you.
If sitting at home painting is more of a priority than trying to get you in her clutches, she should be nexted.