Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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She always wanted me to fix things

phil2015

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From everything you've said, it seems you both still want to be together

I wouldn't count on her being over it at all.

In fact, I wouldn't count on her being over it for a very long time.
Hey mate,

You're right there's some residual feelings or bond still inside of me.

From an outsider perspective, what makes you believe she still wants me?
I am interested in understanding the dynamics of this.

I'm still going to maintain NC mind
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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phil2015

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Ever went backwards for a woman before? If not, you might not pick up on these vibes.

I haven't myself but I know she has maintained and got back in contact with exes from years ago. One of the last things I remember was her unblocking and re adding her exes/stalkers on Facebook


You just don't realize your own power over the situation. You seem a genuinely good person, and it was taken advantage of. Just need to work on your boundaries a bit, that's all.

I would agree with you here. She was unhappy for paying just £200 a month towards bills whilst she was living with me
 

phil2015

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Don't get too caught up in the bpd, npd, lypd, etc, stuff.

I personally find it to be miserable.

Focus instead on your own boundaries, and realizing more of your own potential. I think it's quite clear that you didn't understand how much hand you had in this set (still don't), and you allowed her to get away with murder.

Each woman is practice for the next ;)

You know I think what upset me and caused me to get hung up on this was thinking I had ruined something potentially good.

She blamed literally everything on me.

Now I see the opinions of you guys, look at the red flags I overlooked, assault I forgave her for I realise it was neither healthy not potentially good.
 
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