"She’s more sexually experienced than me"

[DragonBlood]

My past is filled mainly with shy and conservative women. The kind where even a kiss on the cheek is a big ****ing deal. Even though Ive never felt intimidated by sex, or women in general, I am use to having to show patience and leading the interaction. It makes me feel good.


Over the past two years or so Ive realised I am actually intimated by experienced women. Typically in their 30s, lead me, very open about sex and their past partners. In many ways I feel my role with this type of women is completely reversed and I am out of my comfort zone.

I freeze up and become very nervous. When I am with a women who has a wider degree of sexual experience it makes me feel less important. Im no longer "the prize". Im just one more d1ck in a long line of d1cks. And the odds are likely not the last one either.


Logically I know turning down women who like sex is beyond stupid, but my emotional mind isnt convinced. How do I over come this insecurity?

 

[Mike32ct]

You need to stop thinking she's "better" than you because she has more hours moaning "oh oh don't stop" lol.

It's so easy for women to get sex that being "experienced" as a woman is no accomplishment. Don't let her bragging get to you. You know what you are doing in the sack, and you don't need as many lays as her to know how to get the job done.

 

[Between_The_Lines]

Physicality. Take the lead. None of this "two beautiful souls passionately uniting under the full moon" bullsh1t. Treat her as your personal little fvck toy. It will send the message to the both of you who's calling the shots in the most primal sense, which trumps the "who's more experienced?" issue.

 

[AttackFormation]

You need to stop thinking she's "better" than you because she has more hours moaning "oh oh don't stop" lol.

It's so easy for women to get sex that being "experienced" as a woman is no accomplishment. Don't let her bragging get to you. You know what you are doing in the sack, and you don't need as many lays as her to know how to get the job done.

Spot on. A woman being "sexually experienced" is like a trash can commended for being a veteran - it doesn't take any effort for it, people just open up and put their sh!t in.

 

[Alvafe]

I would say just F\/ck her and see what happen, losing your sleep over this is kinda annoying, if it let you feel better think she is just lieing (she possible is anyway), and like you say since its out of your confort zone you start to wonder too much, so stop thinking and just act on it, like I said consider she is lieing and go for the kill

 

[3agle 3yes]

A good friend of mine once told me something profound concerning experience.

He said: "When people tell you they have x amount of years experience at one thing it's usually not true, it's really 1 year of experience x amount of times over".

In other words, the average person stops learning in a particular subject after one year, the rest of the years they're just doing the same thing over and over.

Most women don't have "proper" sex, sex is much more than the physical act.

When I meet "sexually experienced" women they know in a matter of moments that this isn't going to be an ordinary encounter...

For you, in the beginning at least, believe that you offer MORE than just physical sex.

 

[Zarky]

Most women have more sexual experience than most men. Except guys who've spent years making the effort to bang lots of women.

Throughout my 20s and early 30s, the majority of women I dated had more sexual experience than I. It's disconcerting, for sure, but I never had any plans to marry any of 'em so I didn't really care.

 

[backseatjuan]

Do you just have sex in missionary position and they want other positions, and then you just don't know what to do? If that's so, then the way out of this is to read Karma Sutra.

 

[old_skoolr]

Why does Op's post remind me of the movie Chasing Amy lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlYZnd7dEPw

 

[R.C]

The biggest turnoff for women isn't a guy being inexperienced but a guy acting inexperienced. Or shy. Or unconfident in his ability to pleasure her.

 

[skinnyguy]

You need to stop thinking she's "better" than you because she has more hours moaning "oh oh don't stop" lol.

It's so easy for women to get sex that being "experienced" as a woman is no accomplishment. Don't let her bragging get to you. You know what you are doing in the sack, and you don't need as many lays as her to know how to get the job done.

Exactly. All a woman has to do to get laid is walk outside. If a man wants to get laid he has to work out, have game, good clothes, etc because women have the power when it comes to sex.

Don't worry about this stuff. Pretty much 100% of women you meet will have more sexual experience than you. But they don't care about it because sex is so cheap to them. You probably have a lot of experience understanding sports but do you care? A woman might wish she had that experience cause she's so clueless about it.

 

[johnywhite17]

All this "women will all be more sexually experienced than you" thinking is misplaced. It's just not an accurate sentiment. I've ****ed a whole lot girls, most women I'm with don't come close. But that's also because I don't pick up chicks at bars or on tinder, and I am not interested in dating women who give it up at the drop of a hat. I don't like women who suck **** more often than they brush their teeth. I don't get aroused when a girl shakes her ass for 50+ strangers at a bar, it's honestly repulsive to me. Double standard? You bet your sweet ass it is, but I don't see what that changes. It's sad the new "baller" way of thinking towards this is acceptance and appeasement. It is not insecurities that drive my aversion to promiscuity, it isn't moral indignation. I just don't date or pursue trash, and never will. The only reason people "get over" this natural disgust is desperation and social conditioning.
Businesses have consistently pushed "liberation" and "sexual freedom" agendas to our culture so that they could use sex (marketing gold) to sell anything a d everything to anyone without public backlash. This is why we now have Hannah Montana finger fjcking herself on a family friendly broadcast. It also why your daughter will **** more people by the time she's 14 than used to be acceptable for a lifetime. Yes, there's nothing wrong with it all.. just my insecurities.

 

[SmooveMooves]

Physicality. Take the lead. None of this "two beautiful souls passionately uniting under the full moon" bullsh1t. Treat her as your personal little fvck toy. It will send the message to the both of you who's calling the shots in the most primal sense, which trumps the "who's more experienced?" issue.

This.

You guys are too emotional man.

 

[DragonBlood]

Thanks Im glad I made this thread there is some really sound advice in here. I particularly like the idea of leading physically to boost my confidence. I tend to mainly jump in when its clear the girl doesnt know what to do.

What everyone else said is very true. And why does it bother you? That's a question you need to ask yourself. Is it a blow to your ego? Does it make you feel like less of a man? Answer that question first.

Yes it makes me feel like less of a man. But its not actually the physical act of sex or not "stacking up" in the bedroom that makes me feel insecure.

When Im with a less experienced women (which is happening less and less) my value is obvious. Taking the lead, relaxed, strong, opening their world up to "men". But when I am dating someone who clearly has more experience than me and I think back to all the other boyfriends theyve had, which they sometimes talk about freely so not a lie, it makes me wonder... what EXACTLY do I have that makes me special to this person? Am I really the prize to this type of person or just passing through? Its around here things start to go wrong.

Its obvious that I am dealing with someone who is pretty indifferent about switching partners. Without knowing what my value is it not only makes me feel like a sex toy (less of a man) but also that I will clearly find myself catching feelings faster and be in the rabbit hole in the months to come. My biggest fear around this type of women is how quickly I lose power and not really knowing what is keeping her drawn to me.

 

[Cremasta]

If a girl goes on about how much experience she's got, call her out on it, something like "Ok, let's see some of that crazy shyt then!"

She'll have either been talking out her arse and you'll end up taking the lead.
or
She really will know some crazy and you'll have the time of your life.

Win Win