"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
shared saving account with gf????
- Thread starter loser2
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
peace
InLawsHateMe
Master Don Juan
Hell no, what the hell is wrong with you?!?!?
TooColdUlrick
Master Don Juan
of these 23 odd responses, NOT ONE PERSON suggested that this was in any way a good idea.
i hope you're listening. but i have a sneaking suspicion that you've already done it.
this would be HALL OF FAME material.
c'mon...fess up if you have.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Why you guys just assumed that my gf would use the money or even take the money and run?
PuertoRican_Lover
Banned
I hope you recognize sarcasm when you read it!
The above advice was given to you by my 'other self' - I call him PR_L. MY advice below is the real me, PuertoRican_Lover...
This hor is trying to pimp you and yet you comply!!!!!!! What is the purpose of having a shared account? You don't know so I'll tell you...it is to take your money when she leaves you (once she pimps you for enough money) and by law she has access to the account and can do what she wishes with the money and then you will have no recourse to get it back!!! Could this be her motive??? NO. Then tell us why she is asking you to do this? Also, tell us how it benefits you?
Look at it this way. If you got yourself a first job, and one of your buddies suddenly started asking you for money, would you think that was ok too? If so, I've got a couple of bridges to sell you and a little tower in Paris. Eiffel, I think it's called..
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
squirrels
Master Don Juan
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If she NEEDS YOUR hard-earned money to be secure, then she is NOT WORTH YOUR TIME!!
Jesus, man...why do you NEED this girl so much? It's pathetic...you're like a little boy trying to please his mommy. She's JUST A CHICK!!
Explain to me, if you're not planning to marry this girl:
-WHY you would save for HER future
-WHY you would want to buy a house together
-WHY you need to buy HER dreams for her, instead of HER getting off her ass and pursing them on her own
The point is NOT whether she takes the money...the point is that she believes that she even has a RIGHT to it...that she feels she is ENTITLED to put her name on it.
Or maybe it's a power-trip...maybe she wants to tell all her girlfriends about how she got some desperate p*ssy to cave in to putting HER name on HIS money.
Or maybe she's sincere...sincerely messed up in the head and actually thinks this is NORMAL behavior.
Either way, you are working with DAMAGED GOODS.
WHY did you even post here about this if you were so sure it was the right thing to do? You POSTED HERE because your BALLS are telling you, "Whoah! Red flag!! Why in God's name does she want to put her name on your money?"
If you don't believe us, ask ANY ONE of your friends. Ask your co-workers. Ask your family! ASK YOUR PARENTS if you don't believe us...even THEY know the answer to this one.
It doesn't even matter if she's taking the money...she's taking your POWER from you. She's staking a claim to YOUR life. F**k that. And this is coming from the guy who now believes that he should pay on a first date, so it's not like I'm one of these mysogenist clowns that posts here. But NOTHING good has ever come of something like this. If you AREN'T 100% SURE that you're going to get married, there is no reason, NONE, to have a joint account. Don't believe me? See you on Springer.
I say:
1) You do not share your money with a girl before you are happily married and plan to spend the REST OF YOUR LIFE with her.
2) You don't need to do anything.
3) Be as free as possible.
PS. squirrels, come to chat in #donjuan
squirrels
Master Don Juan
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""She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I agree with one of the previous posts here, I think you have already done it! It's OK though, most people have to learn for themselves the hard way, we all had to at some point. Soon she will tell you that she wants to stay at home while you work, and to buy her a nice house, and a big suv, good luck with all that! Well, you have invested a lot of time in this relationship, a whole year!
elvis aint dead yet
Senior Don Juan
He obvioulsy has already opened a joint account and ha s no balls to tell his GF that it's his money.
just read and comprehend for once in your life.
Maybe she isn't a gold-digger(yeah right), and maybe she really thinks this is the way the world now works(moron), but you have to step up to the plate and stand up for yourself.
Whats next, you buy her a car, you pay for the car insurance, you buy her a house, you do this and that, while she's banging the plumber at your home.
Then after a certain number of years in some states, even if your not married, SHE IS ENTITLED to half of what you have because she lived with you and you two were together for a certain amount of time.
Where I live, if you live with a girl for Seven years, she can turn around and sue you for half of what you earned. Even if your not married.
And plenty of women have manipulated the laws to say, they might not have lived with the guy for seven years, but they have stayed with the guy for at least a couple years, if not more, and they have been going with that guy for seven years.
And they've won.
I can see this being you. You might say you don't plan on getting married to this girl, but SAVING MONEY FOR HER FUTURE, SAVING MONEY FOR HER HOUSE, SAVING MONEY FOR HER LOVE, that either sounds like you want to spend your life with her or you are a complete moron.
So if you would rather give your money to your girl for no other reason then because SHE NEEDS YOUR MONEY TO FEEL LOVED BY YOU, then by all means, go ahead and give it to her.
But i protest.
There are plenty of people on this website, including me, who wouldn't mind you handing over about 100 bucks a month for our dreams and futures. I mean hey, if you are that dumb, then hook the rest of us up with some cash.
If she were putting money into the joint account, I'd still protest because you said you weren't planning on marrying her. But she doesn't work and she's just a college chic.
Many of us here have already lived the college life or might currently be living the college life, and we all know what goes on in college. Most guys and girls do not go to college parties and dorms to get married, believe that.
But hey, keep giving her the money and maybe in the future, one of us guys from this site will meet this girl and all your hard earned money will go to us. And after we take all your hard earned money, well give her back to you and then the whole process will continue forever with you. If it's not this girl, it'll be another girl. You don't comprehend how this is stupid.
We've all had friends and family members who leeched off of us over the years. You know what happens to those people, we normally ignore them and stop talking to them.
But I have to give you some advice.
Maybe you just don't have the balls and are that stupid.
So go ahead, open up a joint account. Put the 100 bucks in the account and leave it at that.
Open up another account on your own. Do not tell her you opened this, do not tell anybody. Just go to a bank and open up an account on your own.
Never put any money into the joint account, just put money into your own "secret" account.
With the joint account, apply for online statements instead of statements being mailed to you. If you have to go back to the bank to tell them, then do this without her. Just do this.
Every bank now has online banking, so don't use that as an excuse. Many of us pay our bills entirely online now.
Anyway, never give her the password and all that mumbo jumbo stuff for the online account access. That way you can access your account and she will assume your putting money into it.
But if she does one day find out there is still only $100 bucks in the saving account and freaks out, just tell her, you don't have any extra money. You have too many bills to pay for and blah blah blah.
At this time, If she freaks out because you dont have the money to put into the joint account and you don't dump her, Then I think you should honestly go jump off a bridge. Because you are an idiot.
But if she gets a job and starts putting money into the account, maybe she isn't that bad after all. But I highly doubt that.
Put it this way, there are plenty of women out there today who refuse to have a guy pay for their dinner. Not all are like that, but there are many that are. Your girls stuck in 1952. it's not 1952 by the way, it's 2004.
But i digress. Give me your damn money if you are soo stupid and generous.
squirrels
Master Don Juan
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HER DREAM, your dreams are what you should be worrying about and do not assume you have a future with this gal. If she feels insecure just tell her how much you love her. She wants to buy a house, let her earn the money. If she wants you to save for a house, then do so, but she does not need access to it. It should only be joint if she puts in as much as you.
I am highly against the idea, you have ur whole life ahead of you.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.