Shame

[izza]

I am ashamed. I have been on this board for a year, I have read the entire bible backwards and forwards. I have posted, I have read and read. I have left my appartment, I have met people, I have thrown myself in social situations.

But I have not done my best.

Honest to God, it is so godda*n hard for me to approach women, it makes me sick.

They are everywhere. Every day I take the subway to school and every day I am sitting across from a gorgeous French babe.

And I do nothing.

Every day I see luscious French women walking down the street and I am terrified to say hello (or bonjour). I do nothing, I don't act.

Da*n it, I am such a chickensh!t, I swear to God.

I tried to do bootcamp twice and I got to the rejections part both times before I couldn't do it anymore. This is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life and I do not know how to succeed. I don't know why, I just have had no success in making myself talk to strangers, unless I have a damn good reason for speaking.

Any advice out there? I assume that everyone has gone through the same thing, but it sucks to be here, that's for sure. What made people out there turn the corner?

Thanks everyone,

 

[locarius]

You need to figure out why. Being ashamed is not going to help... you need to get in there and do some work on your inner game.

It sounds like you dont think that you are the best guy out there for any given girl. Why would she want to be with you? Why not? Make the necessary changes to be the best damn guy out there for any girl, and when you are, you will not have any approach fear because you know that you are just giving them the opportunity to meet you, and if they turn it down it relfects poorly on their character.

 

[Mr Spitfire]

You have to bull****.

Say things YOU DONT MEAN. Mix lie with truth.

Do this think of a good lie. Walk right up to a girl and lie to her just to see her response.

Walk right up to a very beautiful girl and in an honest sincere way say "I love you."

Be prepared to lie. Don't try to defend your lies as truth. Let them be lies and be known as lies.

you need to lie.

 

[Mr Spitfire]

Lying will give you confidence.

It did for me.

 

[dipset_mafia]

Originally posted by Mr Spitfire
Lying will give you confidence.

It did for me.

WWJD?

 

[Mr Spitfire]

WWJD?

Its not malicious heart breaking lying. Its playful lying. Lies that are obvious lies or strongly suspected lies. Not lies that are still believed 2 months out. Its called bullshiit.

Jesus used bullshiit on the pharisees too by the way. I know more about Jesus than you do, and probably women.

 

[reactor]

Here are a few tips how to beat your fear of women:
1. Don't say hello in the beginning. Instead try asking what the time is (just remember to take off you watch before asking). Try it on old ladies first, then move on to younger women.
2. Go shopping for clothes and ask women of their opinion about the clothes you want to buy. Ask them what would they suggest.
3. If you're walking in a street and see a nice girl, just smile at them, don't say anything, just smile. Some of them will not smile back, but some of them will do and that will raise your confidence.
4. Try self hypnosis. Get in a relaxed state and imagine you aproaching beautiful girls saying hi to them, talking to them. And imagine that all of them respond positively. Your unconscious mind doesn't know the difference between reality, and imagined things. So if you practice it every day for a few weeks, your unconscious mind won't know the difference. And next time you approach a girl you won't get so nervous, because your unconscious mind thinks that you approach girls every day. You can find lots of information about self hypnosis on the internet, just do a search.
5. Try saying hi to old women, and ugly girls first, then say hi only to beautiful women that smile back.

After you're done with all that, I really hope that you won't have problems saying hi, or hello to anyone.

 

[Mr Spitfire]

Reactor,

way to churp off all the stuff in the DJ bible that is completely useless.

 

[dipset_mafia]

Originally posted by Mr Spitfire
WWJD?

Jesus used bullshiit on the pharisees too by the way. I know more about Jesus than you do, and probably women.

No need to get all emotional MrSpitfire...

I was joking - obviously.

 

[Mr Spitfire]

I was joking - obviously.

I know you were. You wouldnt dare challenge me.

 

[dipset_mafia]

Originally posted by Mr Spitfire
I know you were. You wouldnt dare challenge me.

You sound like a 15 year old, man. grow up...

I know the concept of lying to women.

but when you guys are talking about "lying" like its the greatest thing in the world.. and someone types "WWJD" .. if you're not mature enough to see the humour behind that...

thats it.

 

[frivolousz21]

I know you were. You wouldnt dare challenge me.

:crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

 

[chili kat]

Izza, your only problem is that you're putting too much stock into it. You're making every situation more important than it really is. That one thing that is holding you back is a big deal for you right now, but to everyone else in the world it would be forgotten in 10 minutes or sooner. As soon as I leave this thread and read another one, I will have forgotten.

I can't remember the face of the last stranger I said hello to, which was earlier this morning. All of the women I crossed paths with and thought were hot in 2004? Forgotten. Ugly in 2004? Forgotten. In a few days, I'll forget I even posted here. That girl you failed to talk to, she's the same way.

The bottom line is that you're sitting here all stressed out over what exactly you can say that will almost certainly be forgotten. You're sitting here thinking you've got to say something good, because when it's forgotten, hey, it'll at least be a good forgotten statement.

As a matter of fact, the only memorable statements are the ones you try to make memorable and they go horribly wrong. Think about that.

 

[Bill]

You need to take your chances. Nothing good will come out of you chickening out in front of women. You need to talk to more new people, it will eventually become a natural to do.

A bit too many references to god/jesus here... is this a Texas grade school or what?

About the "challenge" thingy: my money's on friv, obviously.

-Bill