Sexual Power

[pressure0354]

Hey guys

Is it me or are girls really spoiled when it comes to sex. I got this girlfriend who never is argressive when it comes to sex. We have a decent amount of it but I feel its always me starting it. Is it a good idea just to hold out and make her beg for it>? I feel like shes spoiled because im always up for it and she sometimes isnt.

Any advice on how to turn the tables?

 

[italostud]

How about....talking to her about it?

 

[PeeGee]

One piece of advice is to do that -- if you always initiate sex you are training her to wait for you. Plus she never feels she needs to initiate because sooner or later you'll do it.

The thing is if you have a much higher libido than she does, it won't work in your favour.

Then there will be the readers who will go 'omg at least you are having sex'.

 

[sybertiger]

Yeah, tons. Would have been better to get this started earilier in the relationship.

Stop sometime after you start (probably with most clothes still on) and DON'T come back and finish. Do this as many times as you want.

I hope she doesn't know that you are always up for it. Sometimes you shouldn't be, or at least she should think that.

Hold out on her sometimes, espicially if she hasn't been 'a good girl'.

Get better at it. This will make her want it more.

Tease her about only wanting you for sex.

Sex and sexual power are very important in a relationship. At the very least you need to be holding some of the cards.

 

[sybertiger]

I don't think you can reason people into sexual things italostud.

 

[Hellboy]

Honestly, if you are turning her on enough you shouldn't have a problem. If she doesn't want it as much as you then you aren't turning her on those times she doesn't. It may not be your fault. If you know what you're doing it may just be she has a lower sex drive!

If you're always getting some then there's nothing wrong with always being the instigator. It's the way we are programmed. Remember, we lead... they follow!

 

[italostud]

Originally posted by sybertiger
I don't think you can reason people into sexual things italostud.

It's not like he's trying to coerce her to do something she doesn't want to do(sex). Maybe she has some issues with being the sexual instigator due to some ill-founded ideas that someone planted in her head.

Just talk to her about it. She might say "Oh, I didn't think it was right for girls to initiate sex" or "When I'm horny, I'm not sure if you are and I don't want to bother you if you're not horny"

This isn't something that should require mindgames to fix.

 

[Plain & Simple]

nice thread to make it my first

It seems to me like there is a communication problem going on here, but the way i see it, is as, she is spoiled cause you let her.

 

[Luscious]

Originally posted by italostud
It's not like he's trying to coerce her to do something she doesn't want to do(sex). Maybe she has some issues with being the sexual instigator due to some ill-founded ideas that someone planted in her head.

Just talk to her about it. She might say "Oh, I didn't think it was right for girls to initiate sex" or "When I'm horny, I'm not sure if you are and I don't want to bother you if you're not horny"

This isn't something that should require mindgames to fix.

Exactly. Might just be a mental block rather than her being concerned with power and control. Plus, it looks classier to ask than to just start mindgaming her...although I've never been a big bastion of class.

 

[Jus_LikeCandy]

Why is it always assumed that women are spoiled?? Some women just like for me to take control and if you, as the man, don't speak up, it will stay this way...

 

[Alpine]

^^^
Hmm. Pigs have noses for truffles and I have a nose for trolls.

Anyway, I think it's always good to have a partner who roughly wants sex as much as you, either way a descrepancy will lead to pain and suffering unless you are a lot older and it's less of an issue.

Women tend to get hornier as they get older (till menopause) as their test/est balance changes and a man's test. steadily decrease.

Trouble is if you 'talk' to her, you may come across as insecure.

Turn it round by saying I'm going for a good wank, there's nothing like a good wank. Make out you can take it or leave it, this will shift the balance back in your favour and ironically will lead to more sex.

Say you need it 5 times a week and she only 3. Big deal. If you want it 10 times a week and her only 3, you need a new partner and it's fun finding one.

 

[Mister Big]

Originally posted by PeeGee
One piece of advice is to do that -- if you always initiate sex you are training her to wait for you. Plus she never feels she needs to initiate because sooner or later you'll do it.

The thing is if you have a much higher libido than she does, it won't work in your favour.

Then there will be the readers who will go 'omg at least you are having sex'.

Women have commented to me that they feel I released them to express their desires and sexuality. What I did was simple push pull when we got physical and required them to be aggressive at times to get attention. Many women have never had this happen to them and go crazy from the sexual power they can possess. This doesn't mean you relinquish your dominate role, but you should enjoy letting her control the action at times and feel free to suggest her fantasies and initiate sex.

Originally posted by PeeGee
Then there will be the readers who will go 'omg at least you are having sex'.

I think there should be separate forums for younger aspiring DJs that have not had a lot of sex yet and the rest of us that have. The perspectives can be quite different.

 

[themanwithnoname]

I think you've been watching too much Sex and the City or Desperate Housewives.