Sexual desperation, how to get over it?

[Caesar20]

the title says it about all.
22, virgin, just began psychoterapeutic support (drugs - as in antidepressants - most of all).
the problem is i can't stop looking chicks in the ass . i also have a prob with watching toomuch pron, esp. anal.

help.me
i feel like i'm turning into a "creepy" guy and i fear those chicks feel that way already (i also have social phobia).
i don't know any of them (that i watch in the behind or at all where i live).

this msg may appear strange, but its 4am here and i'm sleepy as hell.

 

[Caesar20]

actually i just look at them/ flirt. i kinda havent gotten to that numbers thingy. i just don't know what to say or (usually) have a bad image of myself.
i have social phobia. look it up in wikipedia.
and i am doing (very) small steps towards recovery, but i can't be changed over the night.

 

[JHeights83rd]

Fix that sex desperation

Yo i got the same problem as you almost. 18 yr old virgin late bloomer 6 months ago i was disturbed by porn, and then i went through my porn stage. MY advice:

cold turkey urself from the porn for awhile. what will help is going out and doing stuff with ur guy friends. make ur life so active that u dont have time to think about a girl's ass. Remove all the porn from ur house and ur vicinity or immediate reach.
right now u are probably at caveman stage and u wanna get the ass real bad. itll come across to girls
do u have friends? r u in some kind a social loop

ok to help ur social phobia, its good to have a few friends that r girls. Take a good looking girl that u know has a boyfriend or something, so u know u cant try to get with her, and b friends with her. Ok ur not one of her girl friends, she knows that so do almost the same thing like u wanna get with her

(1) no nice guy behavior
(2) ****y and funny
(3) be playful less kino though no kino
(4) establish ur self with her as a real man who is the ish
(5) treat her like shes ok but yeah uve seen better
(6) do not try to express interest in her
(7) if she talks about her jerk bf or something say playfully "oh shut up, u know u love him" (david deangelo)

it will help u do have it so her physical beauty keeps u unmoved. u will b more confortable around women. women who have options have radar sensors for:
(1) ok this guys retarted he doesnt get it
(2) ok this guys never around women/is not like by other women
(3) ok i can walk all over this guy

ok so get the female friends first. maybe someone u see everyday and ur too friendly and familiar or something, take it to the friendship level.

 

[Caesar20]

well i have some friends but they are just like me. like they almost never leave the house, always on computer/ internet. we also party by ourselves (we four always :crazy: ), we never go to see some our old pals, don't know the reason why, just no.

i also don't know any girls. :crazy: w/ the exception of maybe one or two that used to be in my uni, but aren't anymore.

other then going to uni and the net my hobbies are limited if even none. i'm just too scared that i'll be judged or even laughed upon me being weak and slim (183cm, 59-60kg, 22yrs) or that i will perform bad (happened already at kickboxing), if i join some sports. i also have bad coordination (in boxing) of left and right.

 

[L777]

hey
you said you were on anti-depressants. Are you actually clinically depressed, ie the medical condition which must be sorted out with treatment, or just extremely shy and therefore unhappy?

I know and have known both types of ppl. If your the first one then nothing anyone can tell you here will help, you need to see a doctor, its a medical condition. If your the second one then you need to a) get out more b) make more friends c) begin to approach girls. I was a bit like you at 16/17, unhappy etc. There really is no substitute for getting out there and doing it, your just gonna have to grab your balls and do it.

Thankfully your still young so this won't affect the rest of your life.
And trust me, once you make a start, the rest is downhill...it just gets easier every day

PS. About you doing no hobbies, just find sum stuff your good at..lol simple huh? if you can't box, play football, can't do that, play chess, play the piano, write a book...whatever, just get into something you love doing

 

[Tomatoes]

You have been on these forums since Jun 03....Have you not improved your game?

Something is wrong there.....

 

[Caesar20]

social phobia, it's normally treated with antidepressants, rarely antipyschotics.
that's whats been keeping me in front of the computer all these years. i can hide myself on the internet. ADs are here just to provide a faster recovery.

and yes, i've been here for two years, joined right around my birthday. i was addicted to the internet at that time and am now. i haven't even tried practicing the techniques, as i am both too scared to talk to girls (what to say?) or to even approach them.

by some recent events and inspired by this board i will try to phase out it. i still don't know what will i replace it all with (net, p2p, movies........). studying, python learning, sosuave at least for some time.
don't know what else, because as said, outside of the comp. i have no private, social life.:crazy: i just don't know what to do with life (free time) as i've been so long on net. i can't just walk around the whole time.


Broadband internet connection will be the death of humanity.

 

[L777]

caesar I feel for you. I honestly think you just need willpower. If ppl can recover from alcohol and drug addiction, I'm sure you can recover from internet addiction. Really, just take a step back, ask yourself, "am I happy" realise that your not, then just start living.

Like, go out to shopping centres, bars, libraries, just get talking to ppl....i truely believe you could fully cure yourself and have yourself down to about 1/2 hours per day online within a week.

Aside from this, find some more hobbies like I said earlier...It sounds to me like you dont' really wanna change at the minute...when you really do want to change, I believe that you will...cos ultimately, the power to change is in your hands.

PS: and about having nothing to do, how can you say that??
Try living in a phillipino prison or sumthing...thats having nothing to do!!
Go to the gym, read, go for a drink, whatever...just DO SOMETHING

ignore the comment by that mug right below this one

 

[Bigworm]

i think wat you should do is go old school and go ask your dad to get you a hooker - thinnk about it as being on training wheels - then once that agony is gone u could start working on internal game first - ex. improving urself - and getting the right mind state

 

[Caesar20]

:kick: :trouble: @the last one.:crackup:

 

[zerocelcius]

Self Sacrifice


NO HONESTLY!!!

Sacrifice your old self to Society.

Take your self out with the understanding that you are going to end your Phobia ways...

Transport your body to the most Pobiac area you can think of. Put your self through the most Pobiac Trials you can think of.

Upon finishing this you will have sacrificed the old you and be reborn from the ashes as the new DON JUAN you!!!

Submerge yourself in Society Become the will that you have to be more than a Porn watching Virgin who is afraid of society.

Take some time to rip pictures of models in Magazines like Men's Health, Esquire, and GQ than GO do your damndest to copy those wordrobes *(even if you have to go to the thrieft store.. no shame there...if your are trying to better yourself_)

and last if not least


Woman Polled have said that they would rather F a guy with STD's than a Over Weight or Obese man.

SO if you are over weight Go to the GYM.. Run... WOrk out do somthing but do it right... don't take pills or nothing at all

YOu can do this I can tell by the possitive questions you asked in your post.

You have the will there is a way

DON ON!!!!

 

[DjDreamer]

You definetly need to ask for numbers dude... watching all that porn but not acting in your very own real life porn will do you no good... it's like going to the supermarket so you can look at food and salivating at the thought of eating that food but not making a purchase on your hungry imagination...

 

[flu]

You know what... you've mentioned that you're small... and that you have a lot of free time on your hands. Here's a solution - join a gym and start bulking. That will #1 provide you with something to do, and #2 slowly build confidence as you start improving physically.
You could always start there and slowly start working on other aspects of your life.

 

[Tomatoes]

All i can hear is a sea of excuses with the worlds smallest violin playing in the back ground. Go down to your local pub and just start talking with people...Blokes if need be. Get some friends and social activity first. Then look at improving your game with girls. DON JUAN dont happen without hard work.

 

[backbreaker]

you gotta get to the root of the problem.

I seriously doubt you are that hard up for actual ***** penitration.

You just want the intemicy brought on by a woman.

I went, by choice somewhat, from the age of 17 to 21 without sex.

The first 6 months to a year were like jail.

However, ended up being the smartest thing I have ever done in my life.

Once I sat down and thought about it, it wasn't the sex I missed, it was the intereaction with the female I missed.

Then I asked myself, why did i miss it so much?

it's because all my life, I had it, sometimes i had too much of it. I was to a point where the women i was with made me and broke me. My self esteem was in the hands of other people, I had nothing else. However, I had them for the wrong reasons. Women didn't like me, they liked who I was, it's a big difference, and I knew that wouldn't work once you got out of high school, so by substaining from young chicken heads for 4 years, I was forced to become a more well rounded person.

So I then asked myself what can I do to fill that void. And I started doing it.

Now that I do see women and get nookie from time to time, it's no where near as important. I could go from now until I am 25 and not get any and not feel like I have missed much

 

[00Kevin]

simple

STOP JACKIN!


You must learn how to control your own body. This will help you build inner strength and confidence

Don't listen to the lies of society that tell you to Jack off every day. Such actions make a man weak and pathetic.

 

[uzio]

I'm on par with workout.

This has many positives. But the most important here is the fact that lifting increases levels of testosterone - which is, among other things, a hormone of daring.

Also keeping a routine builds a character - and people notice that (even subconsiously (sp?)).

 

[Caesar20]

gym is fitness or something else? i must say that i'm not very good (actually quite bad) at sports.
more of a geek type guy. :crazy:

 

[temujin]

Sunday

Alcohol can help.

 

[uzio]

Originally posted by Caesar20
gym is fitness or something else? i must say that i'm not very good (actually quite bad) at sports.
more of a geek type guy. :crazy:

Gym is bodybuilding. Lifting, pushing, dropping and swinging iron.

Altho it wouldn't hurt if you did some other excercises - like cycling or running - that gives endurance (you really don't want to lose your breath 5 minutes into the intercourse...)

What does tha give you? Gawd - alot.

Lets try to summarize:

1. Bodybuilding rises your testosterone level - this is the natural way to aid you in getting over your inhibitions. Higher level of testosterone makes you more daring, energetic, aggresive and generally 'alpha'

2. You gain flexibility and strength. This changes the way you walk (more cal-like movements, soft, springy full of energy), gesticulate etc. This radiates vitality and health. A major turn-on. Also it gives you the feeling of being fit - which is a good self-esteem booster.

3. It changes your body composition - which in turn yields better 'looks'. Well built body is "nice" in completely unsexual way. People naturally gravitate towards beautiful things.*

4. Following a fitness program builds character. It sooner or later shows up in other aspects of your life.

5. Going to the gym forces interaction with people. This is a great testbed for some chit-chatting.

This isn't a magic bullet - but it is an important part of the process. Not even the _required_ one, but the one that is the easiest to execute.

*this is important. The better looking you are, the more stuff people will do for you for no apparent reason. Eversince I dropped excess pundage i get people opening/holding doors for me, smiling at me, starting conversations etc. The funniest thing was when teenaged girls started to giggle when seeing me - which never happened before. Overall - nice thing.