Sexual attraction, how much does it matter in relationships?

[satelliteparties]

I've only dated 2 women, one who I was really attracted to, one I was kind of attracted to, but was sexually attracted to neither.

The first, I thought she was really pretty, but I don't know, for whatever reason I wasn't sexually attracted to her, never fantasized about her...when we fooled around, didn't get much out of it other than the internal ego boost of "Oh I'm doing this stuff with an attractive girl, not paying for it, doing it because she likes me and is into me." I would have had sex with her since I liked her and to lose the V-card...we broke up over personality differences before it got to that point...but my point is, I wasn't sexually into her.

The other girl...we only went on 3 dates (she had a 2 year old and was never available)...and we really clicked personality wise...like our conversations went great...but also, didn't feel any "desire" for her, even considerably less than the first girl.

And neither of these girls were ugly.

I'm wondering for people who have been in monogamous committed relationships how much the sexual attraction matters? It seems to be the primary concern for me. This isn't a case of being a picky virgin (like I said I gladly would have slept with the first one)...but I've seen women on tv and in person where I got that "wow" feeling, like I'd do anything to see them naked and have my way with them...and it seems that's priority number one for me.

Girl number 1...I liked her appearance a lot but more in a pure way...girl number 2...our personalities clicked really well and she was "decent" looking to me...but I didn't seem to care since there wasn't that lust.

So I guess what I'm asking is, is it possible for your girlfriend to be your fantasy?

It also seems that I'm sexually attracted to women that wouldn't be good for me long term...and the ones that would be good for me long term, even if I find them physically attractive, there isn't any sexual desire.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Sattellite,
Its not a one size fits all,everyone is different you just have to be compatible.....If you are a Horny fellow then a Birds Svexuality is everything,on the other hand if reading a book,or sticking Stamps in your Album,of an Evening,turns you on then the last thing you want is a hot Woman.

 

[satelliteparties]

Well it seems like there are three different types of women with me (two, but three technically.)

1.)No attraction whatsoever.
2.)Attracted to them, but more so think they're "pretty" or "beautiful" than a lust thing.
3.)Maybe not even be as pretty or beautiful as "2" but I want to have sex with them...maybe they have a nice ass/nice rack...or just look sexy in general.

I suppose the goal would to find 2 and 3 in the same girl, but that has yet to happen.

It's funny really, I think Jennie Garth is/was (especially during 90210s run) one of the most beautiful woman in the world...but I've never thought of her sexually once, kind of like my first ex. Yeah, I'd do her, but it would be less of a lust thing and more of a "I like her" thing. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

But in the time being, I guess I'd like a "3" type...just a woman that I want to bang and isn't a bad person.