Sexual Anxiety

[Stud]

Unlike presumably most of you here, I have no problem getting women into the bedroom. In areas where most men fail, controlling the relationship, becoming boring or stale, etc. I succeed. This site was a big reason why and all AFCs who are struggling should heed the GOOD advice found here. However, one issue greatly restricts my success and overall fun, sexual anxiety.

Nervousness rips through my body like a tidal wave. It gets to the point where I get so worked up, that frequently prior to messing around, I have to vomit. I have to watch days where I will be seeing a sexual partner so I don’t eat before seeing them. However, sometimes, I will go out to eat with a girl, bang her and not have any issues whatsoever. Other times my stomach is in knots simply driving to her house. A minute or two into the car ride and I’m ready to hurl. Whenever I first became sexually active, I diagnosed the problem as inexperience and lack of confidence, as I gained more experience and knowledge in the bedroom the problem would simply take care of itself. Now as I sit, I have been sexually active for about a year now and the problem is as bad as it was the first day. Looking back on my success with the issue, I am not thinking about sex or anything that can go wrong with it at all. An obvious answer would be to not think about it at all, but that is much easier said than done. There was a good 2 to 3 week period where my confidence was high and sexual anxiety seemed like a thing of the past. A pregnancy scare brought me back down to earth and welcomed me back to anxiety’s sad embrace. To put it quite simply, has anyone gone through anything similar to this and how did you overcome the issue?

Any advice would be much appreciated. Thank you in advance.

 

[ApocalypseCow2]

Stud,

Let me ask you a question:

What is the worst thing that could happen in the bedroom with a woman? Neither of you are going to die of a hear attack (unless you're bagging some seriously old milfs ). Your house probably isn't going to collapse. Chances are, you're afraid:

1) You won't get it up. Hardly the worst thing in the world. You can always eat the woman out.

2) You'll cvm too soon. See the solution to #1.

3) She won't cvm. I doubt most women expect a screaming orgasm on their first turn at the saddle with a guy.

I recommend doing some reading about overcoming fears. There are lots of techniques for dealing with these issues.

 

[Stud]

excellent point. I have used the "worst possible situation" to try to calm myself down in the heat of the moment, but it usually just doesnt work.

Actually, prior to my aforementioned "anxiety free" spell, i read napolean hill's "think and get rich". perhaps i will look into that again and other books. thanks for the tip!

 

[il_duce]

Try looking at the book Psycho Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz. It has some good techniques for reducing anxiety and that kinda stuff. It also has a ton of other good information about just changing your entire way of thinking in general. Check it out.

 

[Alpine]

You need 'tricks' to stop being self conscious/worried about what may go wrong.

Focus purely on pleasuring her in all imaginable ways. Don't think about yourself. Assume she will like it.

Learn the 'ritual' you go through physically and mentally that leads to this state. When you know how, you can interrupt it.

Learn to anchor confidence and remember the states that led to the greatest success.

Think in 3rd person. Like you've died and having an OBE, or a pervie voyeur. This takes you out of the states that build anxiety.

Learn to belly breathe. Simple and may seem stupid, but it is the royal road to breaking most anxiety states.

 

[Stud]

Thanks alpine. i typically use littlke ploys like that. "worst case scenario", "what would <insert masculine role model> do". haha i even try thinking about fishing and other nonsexual activities, but nothing seems to do the trick as much as not thinking twice about it does. If i can find out how to get myself into that state consistently then all would be good. I will have to try the OBE thing, i hadn't thought of that.

il_duce, ill have to check out that book..thanks!

 

[Alpine]

do a google on NLP and 'anchoring' this technique allows you to say touch your earlobe and immediately go into a desired state.

Also look up 'swish pattern' and 'pattern interrupts / break state'