"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Sex with pregnant woman: worth the drama?

thedeparted

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Ever since I saw it in some porn I have always thought I would like to fvck a pregnant woman. Nice big fat belly and milky tits. Hormone driven after-shocks. And if you bang her good enough near the end she can go right into labor pains. Call me a freaky azz perv, but boning a woman into unstoppable contractions resulting in her puzzy ripping open and a baby popping out while she lies screaming bloody murder on her back is... a total turn-on. Since you only live once, and I'm not the patient type, I decided to go find me one with a bun in the oven. And I did.

Problem is, there is some drama involved. And by some, I mean it's a regular Jerry Springer show down there. We are talking about ex's, best-friends, an unholy number of bastard children, and probably the goddam milkman, too. Also, as I learn more about the reality of the situation, it's a lot less sexy than on t.v. At this stage she just looks like a normal woman who pukes a lot and always has to go pee. Finally, I'm afraid she's gonna get dependent on me if I stick around and she's already dealt with enough at this point.

So, I'm wondering how many guys have been with a pregnant woman, and if it was worth it, from the sexual standpoint. I mean, I have to choose between indulging my fantasy here and living with the reality. And it's gonna be months before it would get really interesting. Should I try to play this one through? Bail before it gets ugly? What would you guys do with it?

P.S. Yeah, I know I'm a freak. The nastier the sex, the better for me. I just can't get turned on by normal situations anymore.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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MacAvoy

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Haha a man after my heart. I use to think I was the only freak into weird sh1t like midgets etc... on the forum. The only pregnant women I've had was the mother of my daughter but that was 10 years ago. Last year, I actually started craving a pregnant women just to see what its like again.

I'd suggest hitting it, then bailing once she goes into labour. She won't be able to have sex for a while anyway, it'll be the perfect opportunity to bail. I'd also try to keep the Springer stuff to a minimum but its part of the deal if your finding a pregnant lady willing to spreadem.
 

( . )( . )

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thedeparted said:
So, I'm wondering how many guys have been with a pregnant woman, and if it was worth it, from the sexual standpoint.
Only the mother of my own, from a sexual standpoint it's different sure (even a different smell about her which was pleasant) but the novelty will wear off in no time.

Having said that, nowadays there is no way in hell I'd bone a preggers chick if it wasnt my kid in there, unless it was a 1 off type deal. As you already have become aware of the drama that will come with it. 1 of my goals is to go through the rest of my life with the least amount of drama possible.

And that sh!t stinks to high heaven of drama to me.
 

ThunderMaverick

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thedeparted said:
boning a woman into unstoppable contractions resulting in her puzzy ripping open and a baby popping out while she lies screaming bloody murder on her back is... a total turn-on
thedeparted said:
[size=+1] resulting in her puzzy ripping open and a baby popping out while she lies screaming bloody murder on her back is... a total turn-on [/size]
thedeparted said:
[size=+2] baby popping out while she lies screaming bloody murder on her back is... a total turn-on [/size]
thedeparted said:
[size=+3] screaming bloody murder on her back is... a total turn-on [/size]
thedeparted said:
[size=+4] a total turn-on [/size]
HOLY CHRIST
Dear Raptor Jesus,

Please keep me from being so desensitized to porn that I actually start developoing cravings to poke another man's fetus with my tip.
 

Retro-Man

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HOLY CHRIST
Dear Raptor Jesus,

Please keep me from being so desensitized to porn that I actually start developoing cravings to poke another man's fetus with my tip.
:crackup:

Thanks for making me laugh, bro. I needed that.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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KarmaSutra

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ThunderMaverick this is the single greatest post I have ever read. It's unfortunate I am unable to rep you more because I would do it daily just on the merit of this post.

Absolutely hilarious!

Thank you Brother.
 

ThunderMaverick

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Well I try. :crackup:


Anyways I could understand making love to your wife while she's pregnant. I mean that's a very intimate, loving gesture...like f*cking her on her period.

But having sex with an unfamiliar pregnant woman?

I can imagine me saying; "I'm pulling a double shift. We're fu*king for TWO now!" :D :D

Oh my God. I should be locked up.
 

ThunderMaverick

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KontrollerX said:
LMFAO, don't worry Karma Thunder is getting rep points from me as well the sweet baby Jesus for that post.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=1p6mArRqy2c

Glory Hallelujiah what a laugh! :crackup:

HAHAHAHA If I were still a Christian I would have been offended.

I love how how matter-of-factly raises his eyebrows saying "glory to God". :rockon:
 

KarmaSutra

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My brother told me the best sex was with the Mother of his kids while she was extremely preggo!

Moist and juicy and always ready to go. She did things to him and for him which are illegal in Thailand!

Double Penetration with a preggo chick? Why the fvck not.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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ThunderMaverick

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See! I wouldn't mind having sex with a pregnant woman I was in love with! I mean love made that little cinnamon roll in her belly. I think that's beautiful.


Uh...where did you get the DP part from? :crackup:
 

KontrollerX

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LOL, didn't you know?

Karma's thing is always trying to work in a double penetration joke.

(LOL, get it? "work in" hehehe)

He even managed to make a double penetration Mother Theresa joke on the Loveshack.org forums but they never banned him for that. :crackup:

They banned him later but not for that lmfao.
 

KarmaSutra

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It's totally true, I forgot about that! Some douche was telling me how women can't be bought for thier loyalty and I said something about giving Mother Theresa some cans of Campbells soup to give to the poor and she'll spread her ass BellaDonna style!
 

KarmaSutra

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ThunderMaverick said:
See! I wouldn't mind having sex with a pregnant woman I was in love with! I mean love made that little cinnamon roll in her belly. I think that's beautiful.
Now I'm hungry too. Bastard.

Uh...where did you get the DP part from? :crackup:
I once worked with a guy who told me that a woman is still a virgin until she's been double penetrated. I believe that and made it my mission to plug both holes with every woman I've been with since.

Haven't struck out yet . . .
 

ThunderMaverick

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KingPin SkinnyPimp said:
Heck yeah, you don't have to worry about wearing a condom.

On second thought...

Oh...

OH!!!

OOOH GROSS!! That is twisted! >_<
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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