sex with married lady...doh

[Charppy]

Hello! I'm new here! I have a question! Please forgive me if i'm jumping the gun a bit here..i havent really done much looking around here so i might be asking a question already answered or asking something already covered in the dj bible thingy. Anyway, a year ago I got involved with a married lady...i'm sure you probably know it was a very difficult decision for me because well...let's face it..it's really a dumb thing to do...however, she was willing and she kind of pursued it pretty heavy. I was reluctant because of course she was married and already involved..also she made it clear to me that i probably wouldn't be the only one that she would sleep with or anything like that...she also made it clear she couldn't be my girlfriend...anyway..finally we ended up getting involved and we ended up having sex...it sucked actually..i mean i did get her "there" but for me it didn't really work like i had hoped. My "magicwand" wouldn't stay up for long..we had sex for a good 15 minutes..after this time my "wand" just went limp..i felt no sensation in it at all..it was like i felt nothing..so i worked to finish her off with my fingers and succeeded at that...then i finished myself off which is kind of embarrassing but still i did anyway. one time she even gave me a bj and still i couldn't really feel anything..i'm not sure if it was because I was so nervous or if i'm so accustomed to watching porn and doing it myself. Anyway so later on i found out that she and a guy i work with fooled around as well during the time her and i were...i knew that she probably would but still it bothered me and in fact still bothers me..she found out that i had talked to a few people about this and this upset her so she and i parted ways...well now i'm learning that she has had sex with another different guy and possibly with even another guy as well...well during this time my confidence sank really low..i mean my confidence has never really been that high really but this sure didn't help at all...now i realize that the best thing to do is to just move on and forget about it but it has kind of confused me as to what happened and where i went wrong here. I'm not really interested now in getting with her again obviously, I'm just not sure what to take away from this. So I have a few questions to ask here.. number 1 is...Can nervousness and worry cause a man's wand to go limp?? number 2 is...How can a man gain real genuine confidence in himself?
number 3 is...What do you think of the situation I just described above??
number 4 is...Does being a DJ exclude a man from being just one man in a number of men to a woman???:kick:

 

[vorbis]

She sounds like a complete slut. Don't be worried by what she thinks.
Nervousness can definetly affect your magic wand.
Take it from me

 

[Skel]

paragraphs are our friend here

 

[DJsparky]

F*ck and Chuck

 

[Charppy]

Thanks Vorbis I truely appreciate that..phew...
Also thanks to you DJsparky I appreciate your candidness
LMAO Skel...yeah it was a bit long there i realize..haha..thanks for the heads up..lol

 

[everywomanshero]

I don't really understand the question. There is no such thing as nice girl or slut. All women are programmed to seek the best man to reproduce with. It drives nearly everything they do in life. As a man, your drive to reproduce influences your every decision.

Some people do repress desires more so than others. There is no right or wrong person to sleep with. These are all societal programs that have been installed in your head. People roaming on these forums yelling slut slut slut are either just kids or bitter old men... either way they don't get laid and hate anyone who does. Is that how you want to end up? If you can get laid and you are attracted to a woman, then by all means enjoy yourself.

There isn't any DJ or PUA or any of that shyt either. There is just guys with successful strategies and guys with unsuccessful strategies. Don't try to categorize yourself. You will get the weaknesses of such a category more often than the strengths.

So what do these 40 year old virgins say when they hear how I get laid? Yea, big deal... she was probably a SLUT! Well, I guess there is a hell of a lot of sluts out there. I'd sure rather go home to my fvcking HAND! Yea man, they are ALL SLUTS. None of us have any attractive qualities at all that normal girls might want. Sure that's it, what a bunch of SLUTS for having friends and a life outside the Internet. The reasons those guys can't get one of these "sluts" is because they are creppy weirdos who can't have a conversation and no one wants to be around them.

 

[Desdinova]

number 1 is...Can nervousness and worry cause a man's wand to go limp??

Yes. It's called "performance anxiety" and pretty much all guys get it at one time or another. If it happens when you're with a woman, don't make a big deal out of it. There's nothing wrong with you. Just shrug it off and try again later.

number 2 is...How can a man gain real genuine confidence in himself?

Positive thoughts! Convince yourself that you're a fantastic guy! To support this, think of all the great qualities about yourself, all the great things you've accomplished, and how unstoppable you can be when you put your mind to accomplishing something.

Read the DJ bible (especially posts by pook). They'll give a much needed confidence boost.

number 3 is...What do you think of the situation I just described above??

I've read and heard of experiences like this before. It's nothing to be ashamed of. It's just a mistake you made in the past. If you learn from that mistake, it'll actually benefit you and you'll prevent repeating the same mistake again.

In case you're wondering, your mistake was developing "feelings" for a married woman. Don't feel bad about her cheating with you. She would have gone through with it anyway (as she's already shown by her actions)

number 4 is...Does being a DJ exclude a man from being just one man in a number of men to a woman???

Not quite sure what you mean here. Although women are a big part of a man's life, a Don Juan knows that he doesn't need women to live a meaningful life. He also knows that women should add happiness to his life, not take it away. If a woman treats a Don Juan with disrespect, he kicks her out of his life. The DJ will not tolerate it from women, or anybody.

Now go read the DJ Bible.

 

[Charppy]

Thank you Desdinova! I like what you had to say..very well put...also after i posted this i did start reading some of the dj bible thing..very good info in there...i'm just starting to learn this stuff...i guess i've been very naive most of my life..(i'm 31)..i also didn't include in my original post that she was my first...so yes i was a virgin for 30 years..kind of sad i suppose..but anyway..thanks so much for your advice
To everywomanshero...you make a very good point as well. thank you all so very much..every bit of this is very helpful..trust me

 

[brucevangeorge]

paragraphs are our friend here

Yeah I agree. I don't even bother to read anything that is that long without breaks.

I believe many other people are the same. I suggest you take an elementary school english course and basic communication before being woried about this married chick.

 

[biker_gixxer]

My recommendation, stay away from married women, or girls involved in a relationship. That type of setup is intended for one thing in mind, $ex and I personally don't think the $ex is worth the hassle, not when you have so many single hot women out there.

 

[MightyMate]

Id do it.

 

[vorbis]

everywomanshero, where did I mention that I didn't like sluts?
I'd probably fVck her in the same situation. The fact that she is MARRIED and has shagged 4 guys (probably more) within a year suggests she is a slut.

Hey if this was a guy, I 'd call him a slut too.

 

[SamePendo]

So your confidence got shattered because you got involved, knowingly, with a ENGAGED, married, taken, woman, who decided to cheat with you... but not just with you?

 

[killbill]

yeah who cares what that chick thinks. she sounds like a slut. one thing forsure dont mess with chicks like that. unless you want to end up having a disease.

 

[Charppy]

Hey Bruce..yeah as i said before i do realize it was a bit long..as skel has already pointed out..lol..yes i will make sure that i do all the spellcheck, grammtik check and all the checks before i post another one like that. I didn't realize that this was so important to you all.
Samependo, Yes that would be correct..lol..and yes i know it sounds rediculous and foolish..your obvious point is well understood.
Thanks to everyone else as well..much appreciated

 

[LongDrinkofWater]

She being married and still persued you heavily = slut.
She was married, sleeping with you and several other guys = slut.
Told you directly that you wouldn't be the only one she's sleeping with = slut.

she found out that i had talked to a few people about this and this upset her

So what? ONLY reason she got upset is because she does not want her hubby to find out. Do her a favor and send her hubby an anonymous note...lol

I wouldn't worry too much about the confidence thing. Look at her like a confidence building block for better things to come.