Sex Video - Need some opinions

[DJArlington]

Well I've posted about this before and I'm going to post about it again. I dated a girl for three years on and off until December 2007. About 7 months into our relationship in 2005, I found a sex video on her computer of her and her ex screw buddy. She never cheated on me but had the video on her computer. Would you guys tolerate something like that? I find myself regretting breaking up with her over something dumb like that. We were very much in love and she treated me like a King and the sex was off the chain. But what I can't get through my head is that sex video, wouldn't she have deleted it before I saw it? I found about the video by simply clicking on a folder on her desktop. I mean if I loved a girl and had a sex video on my computer, I would have done everything in my power to make sure that video was hidden, deleted, etc. For some reason, all of this still doesn't process.

THanks DJs. Your advice is always appreciated.

 

[jafyk]

Well, when you go nosing around lol, you're gonna find something. Well, I can't say the video means anything. I've kept a sex video of an ex for a rainy day (When I'm out of a relationship and haven't met any girls) Otherwise when I'm in a relationship I just hide it away. I wouldn't want the girl I'm with to find something like that.

 

[KontrollerX]

Does she use her computer a lot?

Was the video in an easy to find place for a novice computer user??

And to answer your question yes its perfectly fine to dump a chick over keeping past boyfriend momentos around.

Its evidence they are living in the past and not ready to move forward.

Though in the case of the computer file (being a digital non physical object momento) it doesn't necessarily mean she was living in the past and holding onto a momento as I could see if she didn't really use the computer a lot her simply forgetting the file was on there.

So its really a tough call to know for sure and as such is a total gut instinct decision unless you have some kind of computer knowledge that lets you find out how many times the file was viewed or opened recently.

 

[DJArlington]

when i confronted her about it she refused to delete it saying that i was a snoop. then she called the guy in the video and said that her new boyfriend (me) found out about it. she was very defensive over the whole thing, obviously being called out about it. eventually she began to change course and she herself wanted to delete it. it was astonishing how much resistance she put up. it changed the course of our relationship and i began to look at her differently. to be honest it still hurts a little that she kept the thing. would you like the future mother of your children to have been in a sex tape, even though it was before you and no one knew about it? i'm so freaking confused.

 

[Prodigy746]

I am not gonna lie man that **** would freak me out!!!!

Seeing a video of my current gf being banged by someone else would be crazy. I would deff lose lot of respect for her... i wouldnt necesserally care that she kept the tape on computer but i would prolly care that i saw someone else benging my chick... ROFL

 

[Joe The Homophobe]

There is a difference
guy keeps sex video for = braggin rights
female keeps sex video for = emotional reasons, living in past, hasn't totally moved forward, feelings.

you have to remember that females are immature and illogical creatures. They are ruled by emotion, feelings, not by their brains. Basically this guy was a big part of her life bla bla bla she still has some feelings about this and all this emotional bs.

now the question is, do you dump her? a tough one considering men and women are different and this is not a rare thing, females keep feelings for their past guys. Sure it is disrespectful and it can lead to you losing confidence in yourself after all if you are keeping her happy she wouldn't have all this bs of her past guys around the place. I mean do you keep framed pics of your past gfs around your room for your current gf to walk by and see? how would that make her feel? if she had moved on she would have at least put this file away somewhere not easily reached obviously she knows no guy is going to be happy to see such a video of her past. That is where the disrespect comes in.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Admit it, how much of it did you see?

Why are you so upset? Did he have a big weener?

Just asking, as these are among some of the questions a lot in here have. You might have overreacted. How does she feel about it/you at this point?

If she's willing to get over it, and you are too, then it might be salvageable, otherwise, don't count on it.

 

[AKA FLEX]

Why are you so upset? Did he have a big weener?

There's the million dollar question there.

You said the sex with her was "off the chain." As long as it didn't appear in the video like she was having a better time with him than she does with me, this is something I could probably get over.

I can see though how something like this could be emotionally scarring for someone in a long-term relationship. Most men do everything they can to block their minds from thinking about their lovers' past sexual experiences; I can't imagine how much it would suck to see one played out in front of me on a computer screen.

 

[daygameguy]

maybe she doesn't think of the video as anything special.. which means it wasn't that memorable of a time for her.. and she doesn't have emotional attachments with that guy at all.. which is why she feels this video is not a threat to her relationships..

Or maybe she's not so computer savvy.

 

[decades]

she called her EX BF up? Dude, not only did she keep the video but she also kept in contact with the guy IN the video. It's one thing to keep it as a memento of someone you were fond of but have no further contact with, it's another thing to keep it as a memento of someone that you can call up, and go have a drink with. Move on...it's over.

 

[DJArlington]

Admit it, how much of it did you see?

Why are you so upset? Did he have a big weener?

Just asking, as these are among some of the questions a lot in here have. You might have overreacted. How does she feel about it/you at this point?

If she's willing to get over it, and you are too, then it might be salvageable, otherwise, don't count on it.

Dude I saw the whole thing, it was her giving him a BJ and the dude nudding in her mouth, then her licking the rest up afterwards. I got upset because you would think that someone would delete something of that nature. And obviously after that I looked at her as a *****. I know every woman has a past but man that is totally ridiculous. I just couldn't take it, it still spooks me. I am young, I can find another girl. Obviously, much harder said than done.

 

[AKA FLEX]

Dude I saw the whole thing, it was her giving him a BJ and the dude nudding in her mouth, then her licking the rest up afterwards. I got upset because you would think that someone would delete something of that nature. And obviously after that I looked at her as a *****. I know every woman has a past but man that is totally ridiculous. I just couldn't take it, it still spooks me. I am young, I can find another girl. Obviously, much harder said than done.

WOW. I'm a pretty secure guy, but I don't know if I could be in a legitimate relationship with a girl after watching a video of her licking up some other dude's scuzz. I think moving on is definitely the right thing to do here.

What did the barber say? "NEXT!"