sex needs not understood

[glass half full]

any of you guys ever hear a LTR chick tell you this? LTR not much for putting out. once a month, or maybe once every three+ months. Enjoys sex, comes really good, enjoys it well, but just isn't intersted in it to begin with. Is this really possible?

 

[Vigs]

Get out! Get out right now!

That is what I was married to for 12 years. A low sex drive woman will screw your mind up. It doesnt happen over night, but eventually you two grow to resent each other. You for not getting your needs met. You start doubting your attractiveness, and bedroom skills. You lay there horny wanting to initiate sex, but dreading being refused sex. You will try to understand (and fail) why it is that when you do have sex it seems awesome for her, but she just does not want it much. It can drive you crazy.

She starts resenting you for being a "horndog" who tries to turn everything in to sex. Even if she "gives in" and has sex with you upon demand, you'll know in the back of your mind she didnt really want to. If I ever hear the phrase "Im not really in the mood, but we can if you want to" again I'm going to go berserk.

 

[LongLostFriend]

Offer to find a second woman to meet your needs in order to take the pressure off her. Maybe that will wake her up.

 

[expos]

Get out! Get out right now!

That is what I was married to for 12 years. A low sex drive woman will screw your mind up. It doesnt happen over night, but eventually you two grow to resent each other. You for not getting your needs met. You start doubting your attractiveness, and bedroom skills. You lay there horny wanting to initiate sex, but dreading being refused sex. You will try to understand (and fail) why it is that when you do have sex it seems awesome for her, but she just does not want it much. It can drive you crazy.

She starts resenting you for being a "horndog" who tries to turn everything in to sex. Even if she "gives in" and has sex with you upon demand, you'll know in the back of your mind she didnt really want to. If I ever hear the phrase "Im not really in the mood, but we can if you want to" again I'm going to go berserk.

I went through the same exact thing, only I was married for a much shorter time.

I did ask my ex after it was all over why she couldn't even kiss me or hug me near in the final months of the relationship. She just looked at me and couldn't give a good answer....and this was a woman who was never quiet with her opinions.

What I find so hilarious is that these women, once your relationship is over with them, on a very quick rebound, will start banging their new boyfriend like crazy in the beginning stages of the relationship. What? So you all of sudden like sex again? Whereas most guys will just keep that same sex drive through the entire duration of the relationship.

It's just inevitable that they'll repeat the cycle and go cold again for whatever reason with the next guy. History repeats itself over and over again.

And like you said, you do start doubting your attractiveness. I know I did until this girl I started seeing told me about how other girls in her circle thought I was really handsome. Even her guy friend said "yeah, he's a pretty good looking dude".

 

[SecondHalf]

If an LTR isn't initiating at least half of the times, odds are it's going to get old. Also, regardless of initiation, if you're starving, you're going to be miserable or sniffing around.

BTW, out of all the many women I've had LTR's with, I've never had one that didn't want/need/yearn for it at least twice a week.

This one you speak of is a dud.

SH

 

[Jitterbug]

If you have to explain your sex needs to your woman, the relationship is already over. Sex is the number one thing men need from a relationship, and if she doesn't get it (she does, she just doesn't care), you are not her priority.

 

[Slickster]

1. She needs to feel competition anxiety. Ie. flirt with other chicks right in front of her.

2. Next time you have sex, make her cvm but you hold off. When she asks what's wrong tell her you're "OK". Do NOT let her force herself on you. Say no and mean it. This gets her doubting herself as you plant the seed that you no longer need her.

3. Start doing fun stuff without her. Go out with friends and don't invite her along.

In my experience these three things have always snapped a supposedly waning sex drive back into gear.

If it doesn't work the relationship is already over anyways. Leave her first.

Slick

 

[glass half full]

hey thanks for all the replies. all the things that were mentioned, i've already tried. Most of them long ago. Last weekend I spent some time with her for the first time in almost a year. She started the argument later, then I quizzed her on the sex issue. She gave me the same old bs. I added to my question list this time, of course it did not matter. I just wanted to see if you guys thought my feelings are truly justified. Turns out I'm not nuts after all (she tries to make me feel like I have a problem. Turns out that I do- her! lol. Thanks again to all

 

[sodbuster]

IF she won't meet my sexual needs.... I won't meet her relationship needs