Sex Drive

[steve12b]

First let me start by saying that I read almost all the posts on here and this is a unique question.

I've been with my girl friend for almost a year and her sex drive has decreased. I know you're thinking "what a dumbass of course it's going to decrease after a year", but hear me out. We've only been in the same city for 3 months out of that year, the rest has been long distance with sporatic visits. At first when we were in the same city we'd have sex upwards of 4 times a day, and I never even had to innitiate it. However, each time I've seen her she's been a little less interested. Rather than having sex we'll watch tv, for instance. And if she's too tired afterwards, too bad for me. When I confronted her on this she finally explained what I had been dreading all along. She said that it's to be expected for sex frequency to dwindle. She still loves it (multiple orgasms every time), but only wants to do it 3-5 times a week. She once told me (before any of this happened) that she tries very hard to satisfy me sexually, so I'm a little worried that she was putting on a facade of a high sex drive to ensure I stayed obsessed with her. She makes me happy regardless of sex and we're moving in together soon, so 3-5 times a week is not a dealbreaker as long as she is attracted to me physically and not just because I treat her well.

I have a few questions about this:

1. Whats a normal ratio for start-of-relationship frequency to long-term frequency?
2. Why has her desire decreased more than mine?
3. How do I tell if this decline is because she's less attracted to me in an unhealthy way?
4. And just for the hell of it, why would you break up with her? I know thats what you guys do best!

Thanks and I will reply to all your responses

 

[young_gun]

Your insecurities are getting the best of you. 3-5 times a week is not bad at all. Don't worry about it.

 

[DonJuan11]

3-5 times a week? You are spolied.

 

[steve12b]

Is 3-5 times a week really that much? I guess from my perspective (going from a virgin to sex 4 times a day in the span of a few months), it isn't. The best athlete is going to be unhappy once they start performing less, even though they're still a million times better than 99% of the population. You might say you're jealous, but they'r'e really just as jealous of you.

Actually I dont envy you saps who can't keep a girl interested in sex beyond that initial phase where hormones do the work for you. I'm not bragging, but there really is something to a sucessful LTR that I think a lot of you are missing out on due to stubborness. Even if she would only have sex with me once a week I'd still be getting more than I ever could by being a "player". Actually, if it came to that I'd move on to someone else because with her libito, once a week means something is seriously ****ed up!

 

[young_gun]

Well, I guess my g/f and I have sex twice a night when we have sleepovers.

But we've been dating for about a month now

If you're still doing it 3-5 times a week about a year into it, you have nothing to complain about.

 

[JackBauer24]

24 isn't just the name of a good tv show. Try 24 years of rejection from women, no dates, no girlfriends, no kissing or physical relationship let alone sex. And you have the balls to complain that you're "only" getting sex 3-5 times a week? I'd be happy just to have the relationship with the hottie.

Before I get all of these "it's your fault" responses, I've approached. Even in high school, when I knew I didn't stand a chance because of social status, I went through with it anyway, hoping one girl might see through the bullsh*t. And post-high school, you walk up to a girl and say hi, she immediately laughs at you or tells you she has a bf.

So next time you want to complain about not getting laid enough, be happy that you have a nice gf and she's f*cking you 3-5 times a week.

 

[young_gun]

24 isn't just the name of a good tv show. Try 24 years of rejection from women, no dates, no girlfriends, no kissing or physical relationship let alone sex. And you have the balls to complain that you're "only" getting sex 3-5 times a week? I'd be happy just to have the relationship with the hottie.

Before I get all of these "it's your fault" responses, I've approached. Even in high school, when I knew I didn't stand a chance because of social status, I went through with it anyway, hoping one girl might see through the bullsh*t. And post-high school, you walk up to a girl and say hi, she immediately laughs at you or tells you she has a bf.

So next time you want to complain about not getting laid enough, be happy that you have a nice gf and she's f*cking you 3-5 times a week.

So do something about it.

 

[JackBauer24]

Can't do much with an ugly face. It's true that girls don't care about looks as much as guys do, but they have certain standards, and obviously they consider me really ugly. I've been told as much, not to mention disgusting, weird looking, repulsive, the worst looking guy she's ever seen, you get the picture.

And btw, I'm tall and in shape. But that doesn't atone for an ugly face.

 

[DonJuan11]

Can't do much with an ugly face. It's true that girls don't care about looks as much as guys do, but they have certain standards, and obviously they consider me really ugly. I've been told as much, not to mention disgusting, weird looking, repulsive, the worst looking guy she's ever seen, you get the picture.

And btw, I'm tall and in shape. But that doesn't atone for an ugly face.

Yeah you're right, don't do anything about it. Sit at home and watch 24.

 

[Eddie417]

Is 3-5 times a week really that much? I guess from my perspective (going from a virgin to sex 4 times a day in the span of a few months), it isn't. The best athlete is going to be unhappy once they start performing less, even though they're still a million times better than 99% of the population. You might say you're jealous, but they'r'e really just as jealous of you.

Actually I dont envy you saps who can't keep a girl interested in sex beyond that initial phase where hormones do the work for you. I'm not bragging, but there really is something to a sucessful LTR that I think a lot of you are missing out on due to stubborness. Even if she would only have sex with me once a week I'd still be getting more than I ever could by being a "player". Actually, if it came to that I'd move on to someone else because with her libito, once a week means something is seriously ****ed up!

I call BS. This post and your first post when taken together don't ring as true at all. And you've moved from asking for advice to expressing contempt to the folks in here almost immediately. Do you really want advice or are you just role-playing ?

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

First let me start by saying that I read almost all the posts on here and this is a unique question.

I've been with my girl friend for almost a year and her sex drive has decreased. I know you're thinking "what a dumbass of course it's going to decrease after a year", but hear me out. We've only been in the same city for 3 months out of that year, the rest has been long distance with sporatic visits. At first when we were in the same city we'd have sex upwards of 4 times a day, and I never even had to innitiate it. However, each time I've seen her she's been a little less interested. Rather than having sex we'll watch tv, for instance. And if she's too tired afterwards, too bad for me. When I confronted her on this she finally explained what I had been dreading all along. She said that it's to be expected for sex frequency to dwindle. She still loves it (multiple orgasms every time), but only wants to do it 3-5 times a week. She once told me (before any of this happened) that she tries very hard to satisfy me sexually, so I'm a little worried that she was putting on a facade of a high sex drive to ensure I stayed obsessed with her. She makes me happy regardless of sex and we're moving in together soon, so 3-5 times a week is not a dealbreaker as long as she is attracted to me physically and not just because I treat her well.

I have a few questions about this:

1. Whats a normal ratio for start-of-relationship frequency to long-term frequency?
2. Why has her desire decreased more than mine?
3. How do I tell if this decline is because she's less attracted to me in an unhealthy way?
4. And just for the hell of it, why would you break up with her? I know thats what you guys do best!

Thanks and I will reply to all your responses

I've been with my girl for 9 months now. The first 6-7 months we would have sex everyday; a couple times a day. Similar to you and your girlfriend. Anyways, just know it will decrease after awhile and doing it so often.

She might think your using her for sex so, she wants to cut down. It's not a big deal. Plus, when you do have sex think how much better it will be. Learn to control yourself.

 

[LovelyLady]

Jack, you do not have an ugly face. I've seen your pic.

 

[steve12b]

Well I had a long post typed up but in doing so it logged me out and I lost it all. Anyways, to sum it up

-I wasn't putting anyone down, except perhaps players who get different girls each week but can't or don't have long term relationships. They honestly have more confidence and probably satisfaction than I do. Hell, if I didnt have my gf I would definitely not be having sex even once a month. I'm just not good at making girls interested, never have been.

-JackBaur24, I'm sorry you're a little order than me and haven't gotten to where you want to be yet. I'm no model of physical perfection, I'm skinny, don't dress well, and have all sorts of weird disorders (excessive sweating that even special deodorant won't stop, acne, big ears...). My gf fell for me because of how I treated her.

-To those of you who posted relevant advice, kudos to you. I can see why she might think I'm using her for sex. I'm still looking for commentary on whether some relationships don't experience a decline. Is the drop is frequency just such a common event that its considered normal but is really a sign of underlying problems that nearly every relationship has?