Setting her straight

[BigAL]

Gentlemen, new to the forum, greetings. My question how do you let a woman know she has no power over you, I am dealing with a hb9 who is attracted to me and me to her but she has MISTAKENLY assumed she has the control---she doesn't! because she is stunning most guys just ga-ga her and she is used to men supplicating to her, at this point I have no emotional investment and can and will walk if necessary to prove my point. All opinions welcome.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Simple, don't follow her - you lead and see if she follows!

 

[Vypros]

It's really simple...

You do your think, and if she has a problem with it you let her know. If she does something you have a problem with you let HER know. If at any moment you are unhappy, you bail.

 

[ezilonman]

BigAl - A recent situation of mine mirrors yours

There is a hot young lady who has worked next to me for the past 4 months.

She is a total - man eater, make you work for it...I am a princess - *****!

So naturally I fail to comply

WE ARE attracted to each other... FACT

I have asked her out 3 times but she refuses to because I won't :flowers: be her devoted slave boy like she is used to (she was trying to mindfvck me like all the others)

So what did I do?

Flipped the objective of my approach while keeping my frame EXACTLY the same.

I no longer have High IL in her - I don't approach to hook up with her - and it comes across in my Body Language - tone of voice...etc...

I still treat her the same though - ****y funny - send her emails - blah blah blah...but my jets are cool... NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION speaks volumes - she knows it


AND GUESS WHAT

After keeping it like this for about two weeks she has started to qualify herself everytime we talk now ... Stares at me all the time ... always looking at my buldge... she wannz it

but... all signs point to crazy *****

She has to prove me otherwise

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...at this point I have no emotional investment and can and will walk if necessary to prove my point. All opinions welcome.

Just having that state of mind and being man enough to act upon it should be enough to keep you out of trouble. A woman can do whatever they like to test your interest level, who the fvck cares?! What matters is how you choose to interact with them.

 

[reset]

A woman can do whatever they like to test your interest level, who the fvck cares?! What matters is how you choose to interact with them.

Could you complicate this more for me please? I'd like to think all my hard work trying to "win" was for some larger purpose.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Could you complicate this more for me please? I'd like to think all my hard work trying to "win" was for some larger purpose.

SURE!!!

The "win (at any cost)" mentality in this type of situation is typically for those who believe that they are in a battle of the sexes. That because someone of the opposite sex doesn't readily accept them, they must be against them. They see it as survival of the fittest. What's funny is that they seldom realize that in a relationship that if they are in a relationship where there must be a winner, there must also be a loser. Such a competitive premise isn't conducive to a healthy relationship. Oh well... Confused yet???

 

[reset]

Well. Apparently it wasn't for a larger purpose after all. But it DID give my ego a nice healthy work out. The egos of the chicks got plenty of exercise too.

To be serious for 2.5 seconds, I had been seeing this as me against women. "women had all the power in my life, so I am going to learn beat them at their own game and make it so THEY are the ones who are always worrying about what I'M doing or thinking." I think I wanted them to feel the pain I had felt. Lame.

Having them more interested in what you're doing is actually a good thing, but I was looking at it from an ego standpoint. If you live a meaningful life and are genuinely busy and literally having options, then you get the same result from the chick (chasing after you) but you can still be a cool dude about it. You don't have to try to "one up" her. She'll do that for you, WITHOUT you being a jerk. You also don't have to try to be assertive. Living like this would mean being assertive came naturally.

Maybe the larger purpose was learning what doesn't work, and why.

/ramble.

 

[reset]

Did I not just say that?

 

[DonGorgon]

The only way to really "set a woman straight" is to have other women.... most of womens power lies in how many options they tend to have in the form of desperate men chasing every day all day.. MOst men dont have it like that so most relationships have an instant imbalance which tends to be even more pronounced when the women is an HB 6 and up.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

If you live a meaningful life and are genuinely busy and literally having options, then you get the same result from the chick (chasing after you) but you can still be a cool dude about it. You don't have to try to "one up" her.

Soft golf clap from the gallery....

Maybe the larger purpose was learning what doesn't work, and why.

"Through learning we grow, becoming more than we were before because it results in the transformation of what we were before, a setting aside of the old self in favor of a more complex one."

 

[DonGorgon]

^^true

 

[reset]

Well I'm starting to do the meaningful busy stuff, next stop options.

 

[DonGorgon]

Its so much fun "being too busy" for people ...LOL every one does it and most are lonely...

 

[reset]

Busy doing things that matter to your life, like working on your passions. Not just being active for no reason. It doesn't mean you're too busy for people. It means your time is important so that time you spend with someone else is precious and you don't want to waste it on someone who takes you for granted and doesn't appreciate you. You want 100% quality time with the other person. Drama and mindgames and power struggles and crap, isn't quality time.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Busy doing things that matter to your life, like working on your passions. Not just being active for no reason. It doesn't mean you're too busy for people. It means your time is important so that time you spend with someone else is precious and you don't want to waste it on someone who takes you for granted and doesn't appreciate you. You want 100% quality time with the other person. Drama and mindgames and power struggles and crap, isn't quality time.

When you're able to spin plates other than just women you begin to understand what life is truly about. You realize that life is really simple, it's people who are complex (or complicated). It's your choice on which you choose to spend your time with.

 

[DonGorgon]

Many people feel safe being busy/lonely.... remember if you spend too much tine being "too busy" great thing will pass you by! i am dating a busy girl now...LOL when I am busy she is not and when she is busy I am not..LOL what fun thee games are. she admitted to wants to guard her emotions and i make her feel vulnerable she is afraid she gets side tracked.....LOL - oh well back to being busy.

 

[reset]

When you're able to spin plates other than just women you begin to understand what life is truly about. You realize that life is really simple, it's people who are complex (or complicated). It's your choice on which you choose to spend your time with.

I hope so dude. I'm doing a lot of reading here, it started as chicks but I'm just doing all things different from the ground up, setting goals, looking for a new job, working on my "mission statement", managing every minute of my time.

So now it's at the point that each minute is accounted for. I don't want to waste time, I want to get the most out of my life and time. So I can see how this could develop into the mindset that spins plates. That mixed with approaching obviously. One thing at a time.

 

[DonGorgon]

women are complicated by choice cause its to easy for them to get sexual attention.

 

[reset]

Many people feel safe being busy/lonely.... remember if you spend too much tine being "too busy" great thing will pass you by! i am dating a busy girl now...LOL when I am busy she is not and when she is busy I am not..LOL what fun thee games are. she admitted to wants to guard her emotions and i make her feel vulnerable she is afraid she gets side tracked.....LOL - oh well back to being busy.

Well, I don't know. I should start thinking ahead. I have to write and record my silly techno dance music and take it as far as possible in THIS lifetime. That's priority one. That doesn't take a lot of time but I have to be alone to do it. So I need that and my alone time. So that leaves, maybe two or three evenings a week to go out or to hang with chicks. So if I'm gonna spend that time it's gotta be with chicks that are good for me and who we can enjoy doing the same things together and are good FOR each other. Which means to get to THAT point, I have to do a lot of qualifying and being pretty selective and be willing to walk away. I've had enough drama experiences to have a semi-decent idea of what's a chick just being a chick and what's nextable.

Which means I can't be a pvssy. They sort of tie together.

Don't mean to blab. I just got that brian tracy book "goals!" and that's where my mind's at. :crazy: