Setting a boundary without appearing insecure/jealous

[goldengoose]

It's amazing how many posters here have their entire philosophy of women based on what women say, as your link shows. That is a house built on sand. Taking a woman at face value is the definition OF KJing, because you caNt do an analysis based on experience. Somehow they missed "actions not words. These guys get proven wrong almost every time.

Good observation, that comes from inexperience and just being too damn naive. What's even more amazing, is that guys in their late 30's into their
40's do this. You would think they would know better at that age.

To be good with women you need to stick to you own principles without compromising them. You also need to have good common sense and never ignore, make excusess, or try to think like a chick when you can see something is not right. When you can see an obvious lie, see it for what it is, don't make excuses for her, don't try to reason when you are being lied to. That's what AFC's do. That's what those guys in that thread were doing. Then they get mad and insult me and the other posters.

All 3 of those guys in this link did that. SgtSpackler, Peaks and Valleys, and Echoes. They all tried making excuses for an obvious lie by assuming what a chick would be thinking. They believed everything she said while tryng to assume what she was trying to do. All 3 of them were totally wrong and looked like fools. Which is why Peaks and Valleys ducked out of the forum.

 

[:-)]

abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

 

[Atom Smasher]

That will be the hardest part. Letting her know that she's GONE if she decides to stay there without actually saying it/threatening her.

I know you PMd me and I'll answer that shortly, but this comment popped out at me while reviewing.

You don't actually verbalize that she would be gone... you IMPLY it. Women are all about covert communications, and if you do it right she'll get the picture.

You want to convey to her that you are interested in protecting your relationship. I would simply say that it's unthinkable for her to even consider staying at another man's place. It simply isn't appropriate in a committed relationship. You could imply that you trust her but it is simply not wise to put oneself in a position where things could happen under the right circumstances, and that you hold yourself to the same standard. Convey that this is not a tenable scenario for you.

You see, instead of conveying that YOU PERSONALLY would be upset, you are conveying, very matter-of-factly, that it is fundamentally, objectively wrong to do this in principle. It is a standard that you hold, and it is a non-negotiable.

She is either going to elevate you in her eyes for standing up like a man, or rebel. If she rebels, good riddance, because this same dynamic would manifest down the road, and would be more painful.

The thing we always need to avoid is long, drawn-out discussions and explanations. A man's rules and parameters must be set and conveyed as something as obvious as the fact that the sky is blue and the earth is round. When presented this way, you avoid showing signs of self-doubt (a weakness she will pounce upon).

 

[zekko]

The thing we always need to avoid is long, drawn-out discussions and explanations. A man's rules and parameters must be set and conveyed as something as obvious as the fact that the sky is blue and the earth is round. When presented this way, you avoid showing signs of self-doubt (a weakness she will pounce upon).

I have to say, Smasher, you are on fire in this thread.
Quoted for truth.

 

[DonGorgon]

the fact that she wants to stay with another guy is an indicator of what type of woman you are dealing with... you can't change that and trying to control it is also futile... she knows its inappropriate but she also know its fun for her to live with other men and have them try to F her every night until it "accidentally" happens..llol

I would say let her do as she pleases and if she choses a ho activity then you adjust your investment in her to suit

 

[asa_don]

what happened with this? did she go over at his place yet?

 

[Masculinity]

She has girl workmates she could ask but this guy has offered before she had a chance to ask anyone.

This should be a clear indication of the guy's intentions with your girl. Remember that we, DJs, are a minority of the male population. Having a girl stay over this guy's place may be the way that he conceptualizes making a link with a woman.

It just takes one night for sex to happen between a guy and a girl in the same room.

Heck, it takes only minutes to have sex.

As Desdinova said, there is a gap between what women say they would do and what they actually do. I was messing around with this one girl a few years ago. She was topless on the back of my car as we were making out. While we were at it, her boyfriend called. She told him she was at the movies with some friends. She then proceeded to hang up claiming that she was being rude to her friend. Keep in mind that this was all going on while I was making my way throughout this girl's body--just something to think about.

 

[goldengoose]

Remember this one? http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=213783

lol

The means is a lack of experience and the motive is contrarianism and puffing up a faux-superiority complex via male shaming.

HAHAHA That thread is a classic. I was accused of making "assumptions" in that one too lol. All the AFC's agreed with each other and the biggest AFC of all still refused to believe anything was going on even when the chick was found taking pictures on the guy's couch. Then he claims to be an alpha boyfriend haha