"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Seriously weird night

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viking22

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I met this girl from an online dating site. We share a bottle of wine and we are connecting but she seems kind of serious so I do not really think anything of it. But she buys more wine without asking me so I figure she is up for some fun. Then she suggests some more but Im balking at the prices the bar charges so I suggest we get some from an offlicence and she suggests we drink it at her place.

We get back to her place and listen to some cool music and dance. She criticises my dancing so Im a bit put out. And I put my hand around her waist and she says "Who does that? It is weird!". Ive also figured out by this point that her ex boyfriend is in a constant text communication with her as she is answering her phone every few minutes and later in the evening she admits they've only been broken up a week.

She spills her wine over me twice so Im a bit cautious as she seems a bit drunk and unstable. We kiss and she tells me to relax and again says "I kiss weirdely". Then she says I smell.

When I just freeze her out she asks me if I am ok and then shortly afterwards starts trying to kiss me.

I get a bit fed up so when she talks about me getting a taxi home I dont object especially as she agrees to pay. Then she says that if I had asked to stay she would have let me sleep on the couch. I told her that it was her house and I wasn't going to be presumptive.

Anyway she then reneges on her agreement to pay but by then I am happy to be out of there.

Of course I blame myself because it feels like I screwed up or wasn't good enough. But Ive been in this situation before and I think some girls really get off on the whole push-pull thing without ever having any intention of sleeping with the guy.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Wilko

Master Don Juan
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Oh that's messed up! I feel for you guy. Trust your gut, I bet looking back on it you probably had a few warning signs during IM chat or e-mail.
 
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HeyPachuco!

Master Don Juan
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I read the whole thread, and throughout it I can sense that you did smell. But, not in a hygiene sense LOL. You smelt as you were being weird, why didn't you go with the flow and relax? High energy, social fun guy? She started kissing you again when you froze her out as she wanted to make things right, but instead you were being Mr.Grumpy.

When a girl drinks that much, its usually because she wants things to escalate. Unfortunately, you didn't provide that for her. She probably thought she was wining and dining with a toddler, the way you carried on, OP. A real horny italian-fabio would've been escalating heavy, regardless when she said it was weird to touch her waist. She's just subconciously screening you, at that point, pulling her in would've been better, than pushing away. What seems very awkward to you (intentions) is less awkward to her, what seems less awkward to you (intentions) will seem more awkward to her - playing it safe, being a sap, and not having a good time with a women in her own house. You got to her place, from an online hookup dude? There should be no fvuck ups from there. Period. How did you make fail Viking? Boners, escalation and alchohol. Nothing more.
 
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viking22

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I admit partial blame. While she completely of her own accord got drunk she was clearly a bit tipsy as she was knocking over glasses and so on, I am just not that comfortable being very sexually aggressive with a drunk girl. Even if her criticisms or complaints were just **** tests I much prefer sex with a willing participant rather than girls who pretend they don't want it. Of course I expect girls to show some resistance but I found her comments unnecessary even though I laughed them off.

Also as I tried to match her drinking I wasn't entirely sure i would be able to get it up which dampened my enthusiasm somewhat. Had I been harder she'd have felt it more when we danced and been more compliant.

Going with the flow and relaxing would have helped but it is quite difficult when the girl kept doing everything she could to throw me off balance. She was like a cat. Cosying up to me one minute but then backing off and objecting every time I tried to escalate.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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TheBucketOfTruth

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She's fresh out of a relationship and clearly wants to try to "get herself out there" but isn't quite ready. As stated, she's a bit off. It's hard to say if she was being serious or not, but I've encountered women before who think they're being flirty and sexy by trying to insult you, but it's poor form. Just like the guy who thinks ****y funny means constant insults to the girl in the form of "negs" but doesn't really get the concept. There are women out there who are just as clueless.

Hard to say what side of the coin she was on, probably just belligerent.
 
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