Seriously? No single moms EVER?

[Johnny Alias]

So I want some thoughts... no offense but the older crew might be a bit better. I'm 38 and am in settling down mode. Family time wouldn't be a bad thing at this point.

My question is do you ALL universally refuse to date single moms? I've noticed a lot of guys put that down for a red flag as it relates to things like BPD.

But I do have to wonder... is that universal? Their have to be some hot chicks out there who have a kid and just had a d1ck for a husband. Probably one of us.

When you get to my age the dating pool shrinks. What's left are often dysfunctional train wrecks or golddiggers or both. I feel like eliminating these women as candidates shrinks it even further. Thoughts?

In all honesty I have gone out with a few moms in my time... two became girlfriends and one was a sociopath and the other was bipolar... yeesh.

 

[CHICAGO27]

Let me ask you a question. Would you rather have a new or a used car?

I think that answers your question...

 

[Johnny Alias]

Baha. My equipments big enough it doesn't matter if anything came a little loose when the sprog came out.

Seriously though this one I'm seeing tonight is a SOLID 8.5. I mean damn. Ex husband is VERY wealthy so money isnt a big deal either. Don't know her well enough yet to see if shes a kook, but damn...

My city doesn't have many of this quality. Really. They get passed around A LOT in this incestuous burgh. And yeah... I'm as shallow as a cookie sheet. Need her to be smokin. Call it a character flaw.

Still... any red flags and I'm off... after I dump.

 

[CHICAGO27]

Go knock yourself out! Just make sure you wear a jimmy hat!!!! Don't let her take care of the birth control!!!

 

[El Payaso]

I feel like if I got as old as you guys, I would only date younger twenty something year olds.

 

[Mike32ct]

I feel like if I got as old as you guys, I would only date younger twenty something year olds.

I know what you are saying, but the older guy and much younger girl thing is overblown.

How many late 30s or early 40s guys can still date 20 something chicks? Maybe 10 percent?

No doubt that some guys on here pull it off. If you can, that's great. But it's not something most guys (in the US*) in that age range can pull off.

*Before this turns into a foreign girl vs American girl debate lol.

Anyway, back on topic....

I can certainly UNDERSTAND the advice to avoid single moms. But I wouldn't completely rule it out for the RIGHT woman.

 

[betheman]

marrying or settling down with a single mother as opposed to marrying or settling down with a single, child free woman?
First of all, you are approaching this from a shallowing pool perspective, those single women are few and far between, so you have fewer options, this is causing you to cast your eyes to a fuller more plentiful pool. but why is that pool fuller? that pool has kids in tow, the spawn of another man, marry or settle with one of these, and that constant reminder is in your face day after day, to a greater or lesser degree, your life will have to be compromised because of that child or children.
do you really want that? are you becoming so desperate? why is the mother single? no doubt her ex was a bstard, we all are of course, she had no part to play in any of this.
also it is worth remembering, she has had a child/children to another man, love him or profess to hate him now, there would have been a deep bond there almost certainly, at one point, think you can beat that? you cant. think long and hard about what you really want, try and overlook her smokiness, that is only clouding the issue, if she was that hot and all that, why is she single?

 

[Johnny Alias]

I feel like if I got as old as you guys, I would only date younger twenty something year olds.

I'm also seeing a 27 year old on Thursday with no kids and a VERY nice set of cans.

Things is HOT is HOT. Period. The only thing I will NEVER do again is date a chick older than me. Not by one year. Not by one month. NEVER.

*stands on soapbox*

If you're just looking to bang, great. Hit that cougar. Skullfvck the **** out of her. If you are looking for an LTR stay the F*** away from them.

1) She's gonna wear out MUCH sooner than you. You're a guy. You've got the shelf life of a twinkie as long as you take care of yourself. Chicks? Please . The milk goes bad QUICK.

2) If she's super available at her age it increases the chance that she's been ditched multiple times by multiple dudes. WHY? Good indicator of a personality disorder (BPD, NPD, etc). You've been warned. If you're in your thirties pay attention here.

3) Pre menopause or perimenopause. Let's be serious. B1tches be crazy as it is. When they enter into this state of hormonal flux in their early to middle 40's they become CRAZY. Like legitimately CRAZY. Think PMS all the effing time.

*steps off soap box*

Im gonna keep dating the occasional single mom. One kid limit. Cant rule it out in this town. Dude to chick ratio is BAD. I've seen worse, but woof.

 

[Johnny Alias]

if she was that hot and all that, why is she single?

You make some interesting points there... but seriously... couldn't you say this about any HOT woman that is single? Mom or not?

 

[betheman]

You make some interesting points there... but seriously... couldn't you say this about any HOT woman that is single? Mom or not?

of course you could, that is why not many are single. if they are they will usually have a coupls of FB's on defcon 4. A woman with a child, who was married? and is now single indicates a need for more scrutiny and screening

 

[Johnny Alias]

Fair points. I'll try to listen to big head much much more than small head in this case.

 

[GS750]

If, and this is a big if, I decide to date a single mother at some point I think a big factor is this; is the father of the kid(s) in the picture? Does he provide for his children? or did he knock her up and split? If he's by all accounts a good father, pays his child support, takes the kid(s) on his days, basically acts like a dad then I'd be more likely to date her. If he's not around, no support, etc. then no. I'm not interested. At all. I'm not raising another man's child for him. That also says something about her and her taste in men.

 

[Bible_Belt]

If, and this is a big if, I decide to date a single mother at some point I think a big factor is this; is the father of the kid(s) in the picture? Does he provide for his children? or did he knock her up and split? If he's by all accounts a good father, pays his child support, takes the kid(s) on his days, basically acts like a dad then I'd be more likely to date her. If he's not around, no support, etc. then no. I'm not interested. At all. I'm not raising another man's child for him. That also says something about her and her taste in men.

To follow up on your answer, if the father has never been around, the kids are probably hellion brats. And that's my answer. It's ok with me if I like the kids. But usually I don't.

 

[Bokanovsky]

But I do have to wonder... is that universal? Their have to be some hot chicks out there who have a kid and just had a d1ck for a husband. Probably one of us.

Today, most single moms are women who have left their husbands, not the other way around (a popular misconception based on how things used to be 50+ years ago). But let's pretend the girl in question is an exception and one who just happened to have a "d!ck for a husband", as you say. Let's also ignore the obvious fact that in order to end up with a "d!ck for a husband", one has to exercise some pretty poor judgment. Heck, to make it even more hypothetical and removed from real life, let's say the woman in question was a perfect, loving wife but her husband died in a tragic accident and she is now a widow. This means that the usual caveats about dating single moms do not apply, right? Wrong.

The fact that she has a child who is not yours will negatively affect your relationship even if she is a so-called "good woman". First of all, her child will always be her top priority. You will never even come close. Second, there's a good chance her kid will not like you, or you will not like her kid, or even more likely, both of the above. Needless to say, it will be a source of constant tension and drama. Third, her child is not your child. You will be expected to support the kid financially, but any time you and her have a disagreement over parenting issues, you will be reminded that it's not your child.

 

[backbreaker]

Let me put it this way

there are exepctions to every rules even the single mom rule.

the thing is, if you are new here and you don't have a lot of expeirence dating and screning women, you don't have enough expeirence to be able to tell what those exceptions are. Thus, just don't date single moms.


If we said okay single mom's are okay for you to date under certain situations, the AFC brain = whatever girl that gives me a BJ = exception

if you are new to the site, you don't know how to screen women well enough to be able to tell the difference between a ****ty single mom and a single mom worth giving a chance to.

 

[Bokanovsky]

I never quite understood the incredible disdain for single moms here, and how it sucks to be emotionally attached to them. I mean a can understand how it would suck to be in love with a MILF, but then again it would (ultimately) suck to be in love with just about 99 percent of women.

I think it's natural to feel a certain amount of aversion towards single moms. After all, as men we are genetically programmed to impregnate women with our offspring...as opposed to helping them raise another man's progeny. In fact, by being in a long-term relationship with a single mom and adopting her child you are ensuring the genetic continuity of another man's lineage, often at the expense of your own (assuming there are limited resources). Obviously, if you are only interested in a short-term fling it's not really a consideration...but a certain amount of disdain still exists on a subconscious level.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

I never quite understood the incredible disdain for single moms here, and how it sucks to be emotionally attached to them. I mean I can understand how it would suck to be in love with a MILF, but then again it would (ultimately) suck to be in love with just about 99 percent of women.

Protect your heart, and don't get emotionally involved with them. I personally am not dating any single moms (I prefer hot younger chics) but if you think about it, single moms can be a great fvck buddy if you don't get too involved. After all, they're too busy with work and raising their kids on their own, so they don't need you taking them out all the time like a hot single chick would. A lot of the time, they're just looking for a good bang and a guy who's willing to at least pretend he's not just using her for sex.

And you don't even need to take them out, just buy em some chocolates or a dvd and usually that makes them more than happy. Plus, I've seen a lot of smokin hot single moms, I think a lot of them would be a great fvck as long as you don't get too emotionally involved with them.

I've seen so many beautiful women that have kids. Then I hear guys saying that they'd never date a single mom. It's hard for me to imagine guys turning some of these women down. Like Bradd says, it's almost the perfect opportunity for an FB.

Like you mentioned OP, I'm at the same age you are. If I were to cut out single moms entirely then I'd be cutting out a large chunk of my dating pool. I don't see the reason in it. 90% of the time, I don't even meet the kids. If I do, I don't care, I don't mind kids, I have one of my own. It is what it is.

To each his own I guess.

 

[Big Nuts]

Again...SMs are low hanging fruit.....hit, hit, and hit...there are plenty of attractive ones...but I'm 45 , so like someone else said....love is for the young....the beauty of being 45 is the clarity by which you see the BS the love fairy tale is and always was.

If you are in your 40s and looking for "love", you still have a lot to learn.....

Single moms are for banging and nexting....and the well never runs dry.

 

[GotED?]

I know what you are saying - SOME single mothers are pretty hot if they keep themselves in good top physical shape. However, when compared to dating a childless woman, these are the sh!t you have to deal with from my very own personal experience at age 41:

Single mothers in dating........

* depending on age of children, you will fight to get any of her time to even date properly
* she will act poor and can't pay for dates because her money always goes to her kids living needs
* she's more likely to have less education and had a sh!t job due to raising children 100% prior to losing the father.
* she's easier to game, and lowers her standards to date down because she knows her value decline, though this WILL initially feed your ego thinking you can get such a hot woman interested in you. Don't be deceived - thus is the trap.
* she will have much more hatred and mistrust for men, and more likely to be masculinized due to the hardship of a single mother.
* her kids are not yours but you will be expected to act like they are without much logical reasoning.
* you will always be the THIRD priority in her life. This will never change.

So seriously, OP - why deal with such self inflicted pain? You said you want a family - this is what single women in their 30's are dying for in a man with the biological clock. Heck I am 41 and I can pull women in their late 20's on dates - it is all in how young your personality and appearance. The rest is up to your charm and ability to make them laugh and connect emotionally with you.

I am not being mean but single mothers are gamed by AFC-prone men because their game with women isn't tight enough for qualified childless women so they settle for what is easiest and pay the price later.

Exodus

 

[Bokanovsky]

I know what you are saying - SOME single mothers are pretty hot if they keep themselves in good top physical shape. However, when compared to dating a childless woman, these are the sh!t you have to deal with from my very own personal experience at age 41:

Not to mention, hot single moms who keep themselves in top shape are usually on the prowl for some rick sucker who'd support them and their kids.