Serious help needed

[RAJ]

Yo ppl I went out yesterday and I came to the conclusion that I can't hold a convo with girls. I'm a really quiet person. I've read the dj bible, David DeAngelo, and Masf but they are no help to me. I know if I knew how to start a conv with a girl and keep it I would do it i just seem to have confidence or brains. I don't know which.

Bit of background since its my first post- I'm a asian dude, live in glasgow(uk), 18 studying at a college and a bad childhood!

I'm trying to change myself after coming across this site. But I keep letting myself down.

Looking at me ppl would think I'm and intresting/friendly person but they realise I'm just really boring. Even my friends think I'm boring! Even my family!

please help!

 

[Life-Trainee]

Geez, pick up some interests new hobbies. I used to be a boring type myself. I took up running as a workout every day. In last two years I started to play guitar, now I'm learning piano, not to mention i'm a programming major. I learned bunch of songs on the guitar and piano, being the most common instruments I can be center of attention at many social occasions. Do something out of ordinary with yourself.

 

[RAJ]

yo dude thanks for replyin'
I actually go to the gym been going for 1 year and a half believe it or not I've not spoken to one girl who doesn't work there!
I also used to play chess but girls don't play it and the guys who do are geeks and boring no social life!
I've tried doing something out of the ordinary (I work as a head waiter at a indian restraunt). Two girls came in on valetines day drunk and I started busting on them for being lesbians or something but I couldn't keep it up its like I don't feel likwe doing it for some reason!

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Maybe everyone thinks you are a boring person because you are in 'fact' a boring person! If you never initiate convo with others or are not very responsive to their questions then this is a accurate conclusion. If you have trouble talking to others because of your lack of confidence then you need to get at the root cause of why you lack confidence.

Since your own family says that you are boring then I take it that it is not a confidence issue that is your problem but rather that your personality is the root cause of your social ineptness.

You personality is who you are and if you never vocalize your thoughts then others will never know who you truly are and will judge you as a very uninteresting and boring character without much to say. You have to start initiating interesting convo and get a sense of humor. Are you the humorless type who always takes things seriously? Are you shy? I take it you are this way, and this is where your problem lies.

 

[RAJ]

you know what the funny thing is I'm an ok guy I actually do have a sense of humour but it just bores me doing the whole thing over and over again when meeting a person i.e what ur name, where do u live, what do u do etc
customers when they come in laugh and joke with me as I mostly do the laughing. I can't put much into the convo like a joke or something I can only talk about current affairs!

I want to re-invent myself became a dj!

I'm enthusiatic. I just don't have the oppurtunity! My boss is trying to get me dates! He's like asking my fellow girl employees to get a girl for me how embarassing!

I was talking to these two girls at a table once and they were having a convo about some gut who couldn't have an erection just as they were about to have sex and then one girl says to me that this is an intresting convo join in!

But what could I say?!

 

[squirrels]

Once you get over the idea that people's opinions of what you have to say DON'T MATTER in the long run, you'll find you have a LOT to say.

Some of the most popular kids I knew were the ones who just said WHATEVER comes to mind, no matter how ridiculous or often vulgar. (of course, tailor it to your company...don't talk about ejaculate in front of a girl you just met) But the idea is that they don't really care.

Learn to ENJOY connecting with your fellow human beings and don't act like it's a trial or you have something to prove.

 

[ToP DoN]

get a prositute

and talk about that

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Originally posted by RAJ
I was talking to these two girls at a table once and they were having a convo about some guy who couldn't have an erection just as they were about to have sex and then one girl says to me that this is an intresting convo join in!

But what could I say?!

This is an easy one - say, "I wouldn't know much about that topic, I never experienced that small problem" and then give them a devilish grin a wink of the eye!!!

 

[smooth666]

I agree with the guys above that you should try to change your live by getting new hobbies,aquiring new skills and making it a habit to talking to people.

Ask yourself:
a) What am I interested in?
b) What do I want to achieve in life?
c) What kind of relationship do I want to have to people?

to a) If you are not interested in anything really and just do something to kill boredom,you should really rethink your life (It is short)!
Gym is not a hobby! You do not need a brain or skill to use the machines.
It is good to socialize in a gym and to get in shape but you do not really acquire new skills or insights that help you in convos.

to b) make precise plans for your life and pursue them eagerly. You might be boring to other people because you do not know what you really want. People and esp .chicks do not like that.

to c) Do you just want to get laid or do you want to become a social,friendly sympathetic person woh is able to start a convo anytime with anybody??

Cheers

 

[NaturallySelected]

Originally posted by RAJ
Yo ppl I went out yesterday and I came to the conclusion that I can't hold a convo with girls. I'm a really quiet person. I've read the dj bible, David DeAngelo, and Masf but they are no help to me. I know if I knew how to start a conv with a girl and keep it I would do it i just seem to have confidence or brains. I don't know which.

Bit of background since its my first post- I'm a asian dude, live in glasgow(uk), 18 studying at a college and a bad childhood!

I'm trying to change myself after coming across this site. But I keep letting myself down.

Looking at me ppl would think I'm and intresting/friendly person but they realise I'm just really boring. Even my friends think I'm boring! Even my family!

please help!

Believe me man, I know where you're coming from. I've been there, I know it's not easy. But I'm telling you it can be done. I was painfully shy in school and constantly picked on. Then when I got to university I changed my attitude totally, I starting talking to people wherever I went. You'll get used to it. It's practice. I'm still fairly queit in groups of people I don't know. But small groups I can handle. I always keep the lady laughing. It's all in your mind. You're boring? Who isn't? 99% of people life hum-drum lives and go about the same routine day in and day out. Most hot women are boring. When you're friends say you're boring they probablly mean you're not adventurous enough. Go clubbing get a hobby .

In one year I have dated 4 girls, had conversations with countless others, made out with two and met plenty more. Speak to every girl as if you don't need her. Pretend you already have a girlfriend. Consider any conversation as practice. It's very easy to talk to girls, they just want someone to listen to them talk about their routine lives . Just nod and say "uh-huh" a lot. Ask questions, LISTEN.

 

[gav]

Re: Re: Serious help needed

Originally posted by NaturallySelected
Pretend you already have a girlfriend. Consider any conversation as practice.

haven't heard this before, good idea natural; i'm going to try that 2moro.