Serious GF Help Only

[pressure0354]

I have been going out with my girlfriend for about a year and a half as of right now. Shes the marrying type. I am 22 shes about 8 months older. I am in my 9th semester at college and will be graduating this Dec. She graduated a year a head of me and currently has a job. When we are together things are great. We have fun, we do fun stuff, she laughs, etc.

I've noticed, that mine and her friend circle seemed to disappear. It just slowly happened. I have only like 2-3 friends at home but lots up here at college. She basically doesnt hang with anyone but me. She crys a lot to me. Gets depressed ocassionally and gets frustrated with things.

I am generally a happy guy. I just got off the phone with her crying for a half hour about how she has no one to talk to at home. I feel for her, out of college you lose touch with people. I am sure I will go through something similiar coming this spring.

My problem is, recently, I feel like shes very emotional. I feel like if I wasn't her boyfriend - shed be terribly depressed and have absolutely no one to hang with. I love her - she loves me.

I don't know what to do, I want her to be happy but feel like our relationship isnt enough. I almost feel like we should go on break for awhile and she can get her life together and be happy first before we go back together.

Does that make sense? It just drags me down sometimes listening to her and I don't like having to deal with that. It bugs me to know that if I wasn't there she would not be happy. I think shes secretly depressed - but I feel that if we did infact go on break, she would just be devestated and not get better. I love her - but almost feel it would be best to let herself figure out her life first. Soooo confused.

Ahhh what do I do??? Please be thoughtful on this as to im in an emotional dillema. I want her to be strong but have no idea how to help her.

 

[Abcd]

Man, that's a tough situation.

 

[penkitten]

encourage her to get out and meet new friends.
encourage her to get some hobbies.
encourage her to seek help for depression, because sometimes we just have too much of a load on us and not enough outlets.

be there for her and help her find solutions with this. she is trying to seek it but doesnt know how or where to begin.

 

[flyinshark]

Touching story.
Maybe you can include her in your group of friends if it's not already done. If you have any girl friends, try to make them exchange phone numbers with your girlfriend and encourage them to meet and/or talk together, even when you're not present.

Maybe join a gym together. Or a dancing class. Anything that is fun or involves getting to know other people. Good luck!

 

[MacAvoy]

Shes the marrying type. I am 22 shes about 8 months older.

This is your first and biggest problem. At your age, you shouldn't be thinkin about marriage. You haven't experience enough of life or slept with enough women yet.

Who cares about love or marriage at this point. Sure its good to get some experience being involved in relationships but your fooling yourself if you tihnk your ready for marriage.

 

[dynamicallyidle]

That's tough...but honestly, just be confident in HER abilities to make new friends. That is the only way to do it.

Be a leader, and believe in her. If you really truly believe in her, not just with your words, but in your heart, she will begin to believe in herself, too, and she will start making friends.

However, don't become impatient with her either. If you truly know she will make friends, just tell her this is so, and change the topic like she's not talking about something significant.

Good luck.

 

[blinkwatt]

I had a friend who was turning depressed,guess what it was? His job.
He left the job and turned back to his old self,funnny, and energetic.
Is she happy with her job?

 

[DasaniWater]

Slept with enough women? experienced life? whats their to experience, the greatest thing in life is love isnt it?

This is rediculous. exactly how many women should you **** before you settle down, what if u struck gold the first time?

you guys need to read the Bible.. i mean the bible thats about God and Jesus Christ.

 

[Taker]

I agree with the poster above, there are so few women that ARE prizes out there, don't let yours slip away. I did not expect that I would 'strike gold' when I'm still 15....and I've had 3 girfriends previously.

Just do something new with her. Dancing lessons is a very good option as you'll meet new people and it's a time for you two to have a good time together.

 

[wayword]

My problem is, recently, I feel like shes very emotional. I feel like if I wasn't her boyfriend - shed be terribly depressed and have absolutely no one to hang with.

She's a modern woman, get used to it. They are all emotional wrecks with the maturity of 5-yo's.

OTOH, crying and menstruation are just their ways of getting it out. Like, literally. If they didn't have those monthly (or more) outlets, they'd implode. Seriously, women generally cry about once a month, or more. Men cry maybe once every 6-7 years. So, don't take it with the same magnitude as when YOU cry. It's no big deal to them, really. Happens at the drop of a hat, unlike us.