Sense that I look pathetic

[Ghengis Kahn]

When I go out and about by myself, with the express purpose of meeting people and talking with women, I can't help but have this little feeling on the back burner that I look alone and pathetic.

For example, I went to a waterfront park last Saturday and noticed I was the only one alone amidst over a thousand people. I get the feeling that I must look kind of pathetic in a crowd like that.

Or is it just me imagining this? Now that I think of it, I notice that I've always felt a little sorry for guys I've seen alone at any social function.

 

[AngelusPUA]

I had a friend who was convinced everybody was looking at him; every time we went out he was convinced people were looking at him. He was diagnosed with schizophrenic, now I’m not saying you have a mental disorder just that the mind is very powerful and you are probably imagining most of it.

I have another friend who often goes clubbing alone her meets a lot of people. I also recently traveled around the world alone and I met lots of women and made lots of friends.

 

[GatorBait]

You probably end up looking pathetic since you think you look pathetic.

Frame it this way: there is a single guy at a social event who is funny and engaging with everyone. People can't help but gravitate towards him because he is fun and it seems like everyone around him is laughing and having a great time. Doesn't seem pathetic at all now, does it?

 

[Ghengis Kahn]

I had a friend who was convinced everybody was looking at him; every time we went out he was convinced people were looking at him. He was diagnosed with schizophrenic, now I’m not saying you have a mental disorder just that the mind is very powerful and you are probably imagining most of it.

I have another friend who often goes clubbing alone her meets a lot of people. I also recently traveled around the world alone and I met lots of women and made lots of friends.

Thanks for the reality check. Just the remnants of the old way of thinking rearing its ugly head.

 

[Ghengis Kahn]

You probably end up looking pathetic since you think you look pathetic.

Frame it this way: there is a single guy at a social event who is funny and engaging with everyone. People can't help but gravitate towards him because he is fun and it seems like everyone around him is laughing and having a great time. Doesn't seem pathetic at all now, does it?

Good...I'll work on that frame.

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

So out of 1000 people you are certain no one else was alone? Also i know plenty of 'cool' people and people who are good with girls that do plents of stuff alone, they go to town alone, they go to the pool alone, and yes even go abroad alone!

Im starting to think that the most important thing to make a good first impresion, is not social proof, its not your personality, its not even what you look like (thou that comes near top) but is the sound of your voice!

 

[d9930380]

You feel sorry for the "alone guy" because you feel sorry for yourself when you are alone. It's called projection in psychology.

Again it's all in your head and yes this kind of thinking can lead to psychosis. The best thing is to remember that most people in this world really couldn't give a **** about you and certainly aren't watching your every move.

You aren't the center of the universe.

Don't even think about what people think of you, you shouldn't care. Be yourself, enjoy life and have a **** you attitude to anyone who gives you ****. Girls (everyone really) respect guys who are individual and aren't dependant on the oppinions of others for validation. Some people hate those people because they envy that.

 

[skeeloo]

same thing used to happen to me, i over came it by going out more. i never let my mind win the battle or else id be so depressed. i used to hate and still hate clubbing, but forcing your self out is always a good thing. besides your friend mybe right that people are looking at him but he shouldnt care.

this also applies to the guys who claim they are so fuking hot, they think all women are looking at them when somtimes its all in thier head(but its definatly a good mindset to have)

 

[Ghengis Kahn]

All good points, gentlemen. I'll be working on internalizing your observations & suggestions, and I'm confident I'll be able to do that.

I'm just glad that I find myself, finally, in a place in life where I'm actually able to make meaningful changes. It's been a long time coming, and if you knew my actual age you would spit your coffee all over the monitor.