"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Semi-Gay Friends

Vordermark

Don Juan
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I have two friends that have long term girlfriends but are overtly sexual in nature towards the other guys in the group. Like sitting on your lap or making a loud statement of how good the sex was with you last night. They really enjoy doing it to me because I have this tendency to blush when someone does something that embarrasses me.

It usually makes me laugh because more often than not I've already started flirting with the girl in the seat next to me. Sometimes it scares her off and other times it actually seems to turn her on. I've kind of taken three responses to their unwanted and unwarranted sexual advances.

a) "I'm so sorry mate, I really don't swing that way."
b) "Hahaha, I told you it was just one time. "
c) Flat out ignore whatever they do or say.

How would you handle the situation without resorting to getting angry, yelling or hitting either friend?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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thats how people pla around nowadays they think its funny, and i'm guessing your from a small town because your just now getting this playfullness but guys have been playing gay for years in super citys but anyways this was started from american pie, because on the cut scenes the guys are playing around grabing each others asses and ****. and eveyone started doing that playfully ever since :nervous:
 

Erasmus

Don Juan
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Psh, this was around way before American Pie. I've told more than a few guys stuff like that, it's just messing around, and they're probably totally straight. On the other hand, if it's interfering with your game, then tell them that they're being c0ckblocks and that they should back off when you're gaming someone.
Still, I'd think you could use it to your advantage. Tell them that you don't like people who beg for attention all the time, or that you could do better, or something else that makes you look good. I've found that in many situations, Juggler's rule of automatically agreeing with random statements is very helpful. You just have to turn it around so that you don't look bad, stupid, or whatever. If you flat out ignore them, or you tell them you're not interested, then you appear defensive (which, lets be honest, you are), but if you throw one right back at them, then it's obvious that it doesn't bother you. Which is a good thing. Beyond chicks that are into guy-on-guy (a disturbing number, in my opinion), you can use blatantly sexual comments to show how very awesome you are. Which is the point anyways, right?
 
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