"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Self Talk

zekko

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I saw this thread on RSD, I thought it was interesting. This guy was posting basically what goes through his head at night when he approaches. In a lot of ways it's pretty typical of RSD stuff, but I was wondering what you thought of it. I do self talk from time to time though admittedly not quite to this extent lol.

Here's the quote, and the link is at the bottom:

"A look into my mind…

“Damn im so ****ing cool its ridiculous, I think I just like hearing the sound of my own voice, its awesome, like even when im typing this, im like gosh damn how awesome are you. Coolest guy ever. Like for real, this started to click again for me recently, I was out of the game and had to pop a 30 day challenge to get back on my grind. So I did again, like a ****ing champ. Cause that’s what champs do. The don’t back down, they man the **** up, face challenges and grow from pressure. What was I saying?.... ummm ya was out last night. Lots of retarded 18 year old girls, not understanding how awesome I am. Its ok, im patient with the dogs… hahah ****ing dogs. Dogs with no souls. I bring the dogs a catch, I am a catch, sometimes when you bring a dog to water it doesn’t wanna drink. That’s the dogs loss.

Honestly when I roll up on a girl, it’s a celebration of me. I don’t approach, I arrive fool. im like damn what is she gonna say that could be cooler then anything I say or have ever done. There is literally nothing that she could say that better then what I can say. If I let her lead the conversation she gonna talk about some stupid crap that no one cares about like her sisters birthday…. Argggg… kill me now. Listen honey, just sit there for a bit, shut up, and listen, please! You will thank me later. I workout, got a boxflex. I wanted that **** sine I was 14 years old and watched infomercial on tv and I made that **** happen. I do music, awesome career, im so smart, I read books all the time, I so ****ing knowledgeable its disgusting. I just love my self. I give my self goal, and I stick to the steps necessary to achieve those goals. So much integrity, like for real, so proud of my self. Ive build of this integrity reserve. Its like I put my mind to it and I do it, win or fail I man the **** up. That’s all that matters. There is no one realer then me, I keep it 100%.

Its impossible for a girl to do better then me, like if a girl says no, I laugh. Because she clearly doesn’t know what shes saying, loool. She better reconsider, because she cannot do better overall. There is no one like me, I am the best at being me, unique in every way. I own it. Its not ****iness, just self esteem”

(Repeat in brain all night)"

http://www.rsdnation.com/node/247014/forum
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Mike32ct

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I laughed at the "no one realer than me" part.

I don't believe in delusional confidence that they recommend.

But let's give the guy the benefit of the doubt and assume he really is this "high value" guy with a lot going for him....

It still doesn't mean that some 18 yo chick (or even much older) is going to give two sh@ts either way.

It's all about what a particular chick values. Maybe height is everything to her, not career or how many books he read. We don't know.
 
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zekko

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Well, the chicks who aren't into him are already dismissed as "dogs" who don't realize their loss. I have mixed feelings about this whole thing, honestly. On the one hand, it seems like a good mindset to have for clubbing, or sarging. But on the other, would you really want to hang around a guy who thought like this?

I had a bit of a revelation lately. I've noticed that the people at work who are most liked and most respected are those who are dedicated and knowledgeable about their job, AND they make an effort to help everyone else and make them feel appreciated.

Now that's not the same as sexual attraction admittedly, but I have never really seen this whole "OMG you're an @sshole, I have to have you" phenomenon play out in real life, even though everybody here seems to take it for granted as gospel truth. It's the people who make an effort to like and appreciate others who get the real respect.

As the Beatles said, "The love you take is equal to the love you make".
 

Boilermaker

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My feeling is that people don't respect knowledgeable but extremely humble people as opposed to knowledgeable and slightly narcissistic people.

Maybe the people at your work would even be more desirable if they acted slightly more territorial and more vain.

It seems to me that especially in our culture, being "humble" doesn't get you much further than anything else.

Of course, I agree that one needs the base-minimum skills such as empathy, hard-work, talent, experience and all that.

But on all equal grounds, women (and men also) still go for the assh0le rather than the wimp.
 

taiyuu_otoko

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If it's to pump yourself up and come across as outgoing and interesting when you approach, it does have a certain amount of value.

Kind of like an old memory technique where you imagine horrible things about another person, and associate it with their name/face just so you can remember their name.

If it's just for creating desired behavior, that's one thing.

But if you start believing all that unprovable crap "no one is realer than me" then you've got problems.

Some good "Self Talk" advice I heard long ago, from a Brian Tracy tape, was to say "I like myself" over and over.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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zekko

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Boilermaker said:
My feeling is that people don't respect knowledgeable but extremely humble people as opposed to knowledgeable and slightly narcissistic people.
Well, I didn't say they were humble, necessarily, although I wouldn't say they were narcissistic either. They're just friendly, likeable, and outgoing. They know their stuff and are always ready to lend a hand. They make people feel appreciated, they have that gift where they can make each person they talk to feel special, like they're their best friend or something. Those are the people who are getting real respect, from what I see.

Humility is interesting. It's supposed to be a positive trait, although it gets no respect in PUA circles. It kind of reminds me of the recent thread on ego. You might be more motivated to work out harder if you are truly humble - you might say "I'm nothing special, I need to work hard for what I get". As opposed to a guy who thinks "Why should I work out harder? I'm already the sh!t.".
 

Mike32ct

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zekko said:
Well, I didn't say they were humble, necessarily, although I wouldn't say they were narcissistic either. They're just friendly, likeable, and outgoing. They know their stuff and are always ready to lend a hand. They make people feel appreciated, they have that gift where they can make each person they talk to feel special, like they're their best friend or something. Those are the people who are getting real respect, from what I see.

Humility is interesting. It's supposed to be a positive trait, although it gets no respect in PUA circles. It kind of reminds me of the recent thread on ego. You might be more motivated to work out harder if you are truly humble - you might say "I'm nothing special, I need to work hard for what I get". As opposed to a guy who thinks "Why should I work out harder? I'm already the sh!t.".
Yep. My dance teacher told me something similar. People that come to class with "I KNOW how to dance. I got rhythm blah blah blah" attitude, at worst, start missing class and eventually drop out because they "know" everything. At best, they continue but eventually plateau.

He said his worst students in the beginning (who don't know left from right) can eventually surpass them and become very good if they stay with it. This type of student knows he has to work hard at it.
 
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