"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Self Reliance : the secret of the Jerk: Part 2

ScrewIt

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CONFIDENCE...i forgot to mention, but it's always mentioned at sosuave, so let me rephrase once again.

Have you ever noticed how this particular guy, the way he walks, the way he stands, the way he talks, his attitude, the way he carries himself....These are all indications of what type of person you are.

People WILL feel your vibe if you have confidence.
I stand tall, my chest is ******ds, my face is forward, i walk firm and fast, i talk like im knowledgeable about things, my attitude with people is im friendly, i speak when needed..at restaurants..etc..if there's a problem with the service orfood. not giving a crap about what others think, just act carelessly in a specific way.

well this is what i do most of the time, and for some reason i notice that people will notice your confidence, it's like some strange aura that intimidates them. i know i can be intimidating at times, because i show confidence.
I guarantee, once you get the whole confidence thing down, YOU WILL NOTICE how people perceive you. YOU WILL NOTICE people being intimidated by you. once your confidence EXISTS, YOU WILL KNOW IT.

you know whats the most important thing about confidence?
This is the Secret of the Jerk, this is the trait all Jerks posess.

ACTING CAREFREE, when you do what you want, when you want, even though you may be the only person to. People will realize that about you and look highly upon you. When you act carefree it shows, that you know what you want, you act upon it when you choose to, and you dont give a crap about what others think of you.
This is the field in where many "nice guys" fail.
they wait for approval before they do something, especially from girls. they dont show carefree, instead they show CARE. if you are always considerate or "caring" of someone's approval, then you are just an AFC, a wussy, a guy who cant make his own decisions. If you worry too much about rejection or ppl disliking you, then this is where you need to change. This trait is good to have , but in situations like at work it's not the best...so just be careful not to act like this all the time!! hehhe
BTW, acting carefree is not what i really mean, WHAT i really mean is acting on something, and not hesitating/procrastinating...but yea in a sense, it is somewhat acting carefree.

Acting carefree is the most important aspect of the "Jerk" and of Confidence. Remember this at all times.
 
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"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Abnigh9

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You have good intentions.. from what you said about helping people but I'd have to say, not a very good tip because it's a rehash.

In other words, I can sum up your entire post with one word:
Spontaneity.
 

Skel

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Acting carefree and being carefree are 2 different things

Confidence is natural, earned, learned over time. Acting is also learned and a skill but its different to be and act. And yes you can tell the difference
 

oOh Nasty

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Originally posted by Skel
Acting carefree and being carefree are 2 different things

Confidence is natural, earned, learned over time. Acting is also learned and a skill but its different to be and act. And yes you can tell the difference
i like.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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DJ_Dork

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About the "Caring" part - what's so wussy about washing dishes after she makes dinner at her place for you? So I should be carefree and wonder off so I can watch some TV?

Showing consideration/caring = boyfriend material. Acting carefree (like not uptight about some things) = also boyfriend material. Being inconsiderate/showing no care = Jerk material.

A Nice Guy is a Yes Man who showers the person of his affection love and stuff because he is needy. SHowing care is NOT NEEDY. therefore does not equate to "NICE GUY."
 
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