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Banned
I've been thinking lately, a heck of a lot. Things I've been thinking about are why I started talking to my exgf, my current life situation, girls (relationships) and dating, and really the way things have been, and what's changed.
I've been single for a year and a half. I've tried dating some other girl, but I wasn't in boyfriend mode, and that's alright (I never did anything, she enjoyed holding my hand, but I never did it, I was so cold). I've studied my reaction to dating, the past and present, preSS and now. There's so much that has changed that I really can't collaberate it all into my mind.
Let's take preSS. With my ex (the year + half), I was a clingy person, very..AFC like and really uncomfortable with the world. The thing that really changed a lot was the breakup, and the 8 months after it. She was my world, and I relied on her to make me happy, you could say I had one-itis! Everytime she gave me attention, or a hug, I was floating. Everytime something went wrong, or she was flirting with another guy, I was not a happy camper. :no: It not only took 8 months of a rollercoaster ride going "why", and "how come", and "what did I do to deserve this?", but it took the 4 months afterwards, (this site) of studying my flaws, reading immensely into the world around me, and the interactions we cause, want and plan to really understand myself.
Now we're up to oldSS. I didn't do anything with it really. I didn't go out any meet any new girls, didn't practice my new found knowledge of methods and I sure as hell didn't go out.
What I did instead was so much more beneficial to me. I self-healed my wounds, and I began to display this strong self-confidence in myself. I started to talk to people, and I started changing in every way.
Let me be the next person in line to tell you this. You don't need a girlfriend.
Let's hop to today/last night. I was talking to my friend about how distant my old friends have become, never talking to me first, if I called, that was it, I could go weeks without hearing from them. She didn't even know I almost died one day, that's how out of touch my old friends are with me.
Any friendship is a two way street.
Take a minute and think about your old friends. Some you may kind of keep in contact with, some you haven't even bothered, and some even might phone you, but you'd never think of phoning them.
Is it worth it to hang out with the same girls, the same friends every chance you get? What if, for one day, you stepped outside of the box you put yourself in, and called up a old friend. Talk with them and ask them to get a coffee. Once you're done that, call another. Keep going until you've reconnected with as many as you can. For some people, this could only be a couple people, but to realize that for some, it could be triple or more of the amount of people they hang out with now?! It's a amazing number really.
So, I was talking to her about how everyone I used to know split into their own paths, started hating one and another, and how no one puts forth any effort at all to try to work things out. Everyone failed, and everyone paid. my ex, I was really..chummy with her. I would tell her everything, and she would tell me things too. We would be around each other a lot (of course, dumbasses like me fell in love), and we were best buddies. It took a full breakup, 3 guys (one of which was her bf 3 times....), 6 months of not talking to her, and it only took a phone call to have a friend back.
She may of broke my heart, stomped over it countless times, but she taught me a good lesson, probably not what she meant to do, but the things that you have been though, the worst possible times, the reasons you had to never talk, never associate with them again, there's always room for forgiveness. I may not feel the same way that I used to with her (and that's a good thing), she still doesn't think everything though, but as they always said, would you rather loved then lost, or never loved at all?
I look back at when we dated, and I think of now, and when you think about it, there's some people that affect your lives so much, even in the worst ways possible. But without her, I'm not the success I am today, and I think that's why I started talking to her again, because I've forgiven, moved on, and I guess I think she deserves a part of my life. I have a old friend back.:woo:
I've been single for a year and a half. I've tried dating some other girl, but I wasn't in boyfriend mode, and that's alright (I never did anything, she enjoyed holding my hand, but I never did it, I was so cold). I've studied my reaction to dating, the past and present, preSS and now. There's so much that has changed that I really can't collaberate it all into my mind.
Let's take preSS. With my ex (the year + half), I was a clingy person, very..AFC like and really uncomfortable with the world. The thing that really changed a lot was the breakup, and the 8 months after it. She was my world, and I relied on her to make me happy, you could say I had one-itis! Everytime she gave me attention, or a hug, I was floating. Everytime something went wrong, or she was flirting with another guy, I was not a happy camper. :no: It not only took 8 months of a rollercoaster ride going "why", and "how come", and "what did I do to deserve this?", but it took the 4 months afterwards, (this site) of studying my flaws, reading immensely into the world around me, and the interactions we cause, want and plan to really understand myself.
Now we're up to oldSS. I didn't do anything with it really. I didn't go out any meet any new girls, didn't practice my new found knowledge of methods and I sure as hell didn't go out.
What I did instead was so much more beneficial to me. I self-healed my wounds, and I began to display this strong self-confidence in myself. I started to talk to people, and I started changing in every way.Let me be the next person in line to tell you this. You don't need a girlfriend.
Let's hop to today/last night. I was talking to my friend about how distant my old friends have become, never talking to me first, if I called, that was it, I could go weeks without hearing from them. She didn't even know I almost died one day, that's how out of touch my old friends are with me.
Any friendship is a two way street.
Take a minute and think about your old friends. Some you may kind of keep in contact with, some you haven't even bothered, and some even might phone you, but you'd never think of phoning them.
Is it worth it to hang out with the same girls, the same friends every chance you get? What if, for one day, you stepped outside of the box you put yourself in, and called up a old friend. Talk with them and ask them to get a coffee. Once you're done that, call another. Keep going until you've reconnected with as many as you can. For some people, this could only be a couple people, but to realize that for some, it could be triple or more of the amount of people they hang out with now?! It's a amazing number really.
So, I was talking to her about how everyone I used to know split into their own paths, started hating one and another, and how no one puts forth any effort at all to try to work things out. Everyone failed, and everyone paid. my ex, I was really..chummy with her. I would tell her everything, and she would tell me things too. We would be around each other a lot (of course, dumbasses like me fell in love), and we were best buddies. It took a full breakup, 3 guys (one of which was her bf 3 times....), 6 months of not talking to her, and it only took a phone call to have a friend back.
She may of broke my heart, stomped over it countless times, but she taught me a good lesson, probably not what she meant to do, but the things that you have been though, the worst possible times, the reasons you had to never talk, never associate with them again, there's always room for forgiveness. I may not feel the same way that I used to with her (and that's a good thing), she still doesn't think everything though, but as they always said, would you rather loved then lost, or never loved at all?
I look back at when we dated, and I think of now, and when you think about it, there's some people that affect your lives so much, even in the worst ways possible. But without her, I'm not the success I am today, and I think that's why I started talking to her again, because I've forgiven, moved on, and I guess I think she deserves a part of my life. I have a old friend back.:woo:
