Self Help glut.

[theapprentice]

Im a student with a heavy work load and Im sure that most everyone is a busy person. There is so much information I dont have the time to sift through whats useful information and whats garbage.

 

[Ace of Flames]

Darn. Ain't that a shame. Too bad.

Seriously, what are you expecting people to say to that? If you can't find the time to read thru this crap, maybe you don't want it enough. Make time.

 

[theapprentice]

right.

This site is just sh*t feeding on sh*t. With all this advice how in the hell will somebody be able to follow something when there are so many god damn therioes in the first place.

You can't teach somebody to have confidence with words, you cant show somebody with no social skills on how to feel better about themselves on a website.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Sounds like this site is a waste of time. Alright, everyone pack up and go home.

 

[Trapper]

what information do you looking for dude?

 

[theapprentice]

Confidence

I'm looking for informtion on how to build confidence, not on how to approach women and what to say, not on scaring myself and grabing my balls and doing it anyway.

Im looking for a way to change how I think and feel about myself. I dont want one liners "you are the greatest catch" that doesnt help 10 years of being bullied on.

I mean so many of peoples probelms are deep.

 

[tuxen]

By approaching, it will build your confidence. You don't have to run routines and openers, just make stupid small talk with anyone you run into.

When you realise that people are more friendly and helpful than you might think, your confidence will grow.

Stop with the negative thinking for starters, or your just destined to fail.

Start with simple stuff:
-say hello to the guy in the elevator, ask him how his day is
-ask the checkout chick how her day is
-ask the girl in the coffee shop what coffee she recommends
-ask the person at the traffic lights if they have the time
-ask someone how to get to a particular place

Be genuine, smile, pretend you care, look people in the eye.

 

[Fuglydude]

Some great advice in the posts so far...I'd suggest working on yourself and focus on areas of your life that are important to you. Start developing a physique that turns heads on the street, be well groomed, and dress well...these will help your confidence IMMENSELY, as will career/academic development and advancement.

I think the key thing is confidence...

 

[theapprentice]

I kno

I know I need confidence. But what do I need to do?

Who do I have to pay or bribe, or eat out? (joke)

 

[KillaCam]

I know I need confidence. But what do I need to do?

Who do I have to pay or bribe, or eat out? (joke)

You have to stop sitting back and ragging on websites for starters. Then you have to stop making excuses for yourself. Don't point at SoSuave and say that it's useless. Look in the mirror, point at yourself and say "I want to change, right now".

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=16193 - Read. Now.

Write down what you're not happy with in your life. Anything and everything, from your love life, to your ass-wiping skills, just write it down. Look at it, and find out how you are going to change it. If you think you're too skinny, go to the gym. If you're not successful enough with the ladies, make yourself a better catch.

Address each problem. From there, if you don't know how to change each aspect, there are an absolute sackful of articles here to help.

When you improve each aspect of your life, you will feel better about yourself. When you are ready to say "I am (insert name), and i'm bloody proud of it", you're on the way.

So, either sit back and cry, or do something

 

[everywomanshero]

You already are off to a good start by thinking more positively about yourself. Everytime your mind starts to create some negative or paranoid scenrio if you have to stop it dead in it's tracks and realize that it's not true.

First off, what specifically scares you to approach women? A common answer to that q, is what will people think? The spotlight bias means people believe they are being noticed far more often than they really are. Remember each person is the center of his/her own universe, so the general tendency is to overestimate how much people notice you.

Consider the case where a student was asked to wear a Barry Manilow t-shirt to class. Only 50% of the class even noticed him wearing this t-shirt which really, really stands out (1). Just talking to a woman means not many people will even notice you in the first place. Talking to people is not a crime, and there is no reason to feel guilty for being a friendly person. If anyone doesn't want to be talked to, that's his or her choice, but it shouldn't stop you from persuing a normal (and social) life.

1. http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-19980901-000015.html