Self help books!Do they work?

[choychoy12]

I'm a sucker for the self healp books.

I've read most of the popular titles out there.

The thing is? Why am i still negative?
Where does negativity and insecurity stem from??

Is it possible for someone who is so sensitive and emotional, to become less sensitive or emotional and to enjoy life more. I had a revelation today, where i realize i cannot just relax be and happy and have peace of mind. I am always in a constant mind of analysis, always analysis a problem that has come up in the past or is happening, always trying to finding a solution. Or if not, simply brooding about the negative of the problem. Yet it cant be helped? Can anyone relate to this??

If you are one who analyses alot and worries and broods. What is the best way? To become a more light hearted person, who just enjoys the events of a day to day basis.

I have many friends, who can so easily say, jsut dont worry about it, or just dont take thing sso seriously.. Maybe I am naive and still ahve this innocence about the world, that it is good, therefore whenever i hear anything negative it shocks me and i wonder why people are like that.. .But yet, i see so many people jsut enjoying there life and living to the fullest which is what i would like..

I picture that in the future, I would like to become a person who has identified his dreams and goals and is currently pursuing or if not already living up to them. Who is light hearted, fun to be around, much loved by those around him, and is good to all and has done something in society and has done things for the benefit of others and is totally self confident.

I know that everyone cannot always be on target like everyone has their upa nd down days.

Although my days seem to be more Down and up on a consistent basis, one day i'll be up, another will be down.

I need to learn to control my mind and rid insecurity because i know that it effect every aspects of my life.

I have resorted to the self help books and i've read nearly evey principle out there? Like self talk, affirmations, action.

But yet.. I still feel this emptiness this insecurirty in my life. And when problems arise i still anylse and brood.

Can anyone out there help with my situation?

 

[tmpgstx]

Self-help books are nothing really more than pep talks. Pep talks don't cut it though, not for longevity.

Critical thinkers will always be a bit more negative, not only because they often expect more, and have higher expectations due to being more serious about accomplishing goals and performance etc., but also because they often think whatever can go wrong will (the Chaos theory). So in essence, a critical thinker will try to cover every angle before any perceived thing can go wrong. In other words, preventive maintenance, which is good for most things that require logic, but with human interaction it isn't so good.

Insecurities stem from past experiences, and how hard you are on yourself.

 

[Gus]

No. Nobody can help. Only you can fix this problem.

Stop reading those damned self-help books. It's becoming a habit.

All you've got to do is use your head. While I don't know what your particular insecurities are, you need to go after them and experience whatever is making you insecure. If it's making a speech, take a Dale Carnegie course. If you're afraid to fail, then fail. Fail miserably. As Tyler Durden said, "hit rock bottom". If you're scared or insecure, you're just not in touch with reality. Reality is that life goes on if you fail, if you screw up a speech, if you mess up that cold approach. It's all in your brain...just use yours, not anybody else's.

Insecurities are detachments from reality. Once you realize that your brain is no different than anybody else's, then there's no reason to be scared when giving a speech (so long as you USE your brain by adequately preparing yourself). The reality is that you CAN handle just about anything...and the consequences if you mess up aren't that bad...there's more good than bad. But there's even MORE good than bad if you do good . So stop faking reality. It applies to anything. But nobody can fix this except yourself.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Off course they work, but only if you are ready to let them work. Only if you are ready to really do what it takes to make the changes you want to make.

A lot of very emotional who overanalize everything, say that they want to change, but deep inside, they get more out of being in the situation they are. They'll often say stuff like,"Oh, nothing works for me", etc.

I have a very good friend who is practically "Addicted to Her Struggles", she gets more attention, in her own mind, by talking about the negatives, and proving herself right, that nothing works for her. That victim mentality is not serving you and you need to eradicate any of that stuff, but only when you really see the value of it.

Others here have already told you to do what you most fear until it is practically a non-issue. I totally agree with that philosophy.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Gangster Of Love
Off course they work, but only if you are ready to let them work. Only if you are ready to really do what it takes to make the changes you want to make.

Finally...