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Self esteem & girls

anonymous12345

Senior Don Juan
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I’ve figured out I have as good self esteem as a black hole. I’ve performed a lot in life (you do the math), so at a first impression this is unnoticeable.

The problem it causes is that I project my own views of myself onto girls and don’t think they could possibly like me, get jealous, interpret anything as rejection, and eject myself or reject before they do.

I might solve this, though considering for how long time I’ve had it that might be unrealistic, and I don’t know how yet, it runs deep in an invisible manner.

The problem here is that many girls have poor self esteem too, so often it seems like a deadlock occurs. For instance, both becoming passive, expecting the other to pick up the dropped ball.

Let’s assume I resolve myself (suggestions for that are appreciated too), how do you best land insecure girls with poor self esteem?
 

Dr.Suave

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Dont overthink it op. Do stuff you enjoy, or go to places to had to go anyway and invite girls to tag along. F0cking triple book, if none cancels, go out with the hottest one and bail on the other girls. Rinse & repeat. Also consider going to a psychologist, at least until u feel better.
 

HaleyBaron

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Apparently I have natural self esteem from what Ive been told. I don't know what that exactly means. I think as long as you have a hobby you really care about people will see you as someone who doesn't need anything else in life. Which I suspect is your problem. You dont have anything youre building right now and want girls to be your validation in life instead of what you are building. I'd kill myself if I had to chase women for self esteem.
 

Modern Man Advice

Master Don Juan
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I’ve figured out I have as good self esteem as a black hole. I’ve performed a lot in life (you do the math), so at a first impression this is unnoticeable.

The problem it causes is that I project my own views of myself onto girls and don’t think they could possibly like me, get jealous, interpret anything as rejection, and eject myself or reject before they do.

I might solve this, though considering for how long time I’ve had it that might be unrealistic, and I don’t know how yet, it runs deep in an invisible manner.

The problem here is that many girls have poor self esteem too, so often it seems like a deadlock occurs. For instance, both becoming passive, expecting the other to pick up the dropped ball.

Let’s assume I resolve myself (suggestions for that are appreciated too), how do you best land insecure girls with poor self esteem?
I can tell you (at a surface level) that your main hurdle to get through is your mindset aka thought life. How you speak to yourself is absolutely critical. Even if you don't believe it, telling yourself you are a confident and high-value man will start rewiring your brain to allow it to see and take action on the possibilities and paths in front of you that can/will lead you to genuine confidence.

Scientifically, this is called neuroplasticity. The self-ability to rewire your own brain. So a few things, books are a great way to gain perspective and guidance, mentors, coaches, etc. The key is to feed your brain with positive and expanding perspectives/influences. So I usually start coaching men by having them introspect and take a look at their daily habits, who they surround themselves with, their thought lives.

Mindset is everything. Dating, finance, business, career, relationships, spirituality, etc etc, all that stem from mindset so make that your priority.

Check out our Wellness & Self-Development section:


I wrote an array of articles that can get you on a better path. Such as:


Among many others.

Cheers brother!


Modern Man Advice
 
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