self consciousness

[Kineti[C]harm]

Originally posted by CLOONEY
Man, this is sad, because it is true with a LOT of good looking people. Or at least mildly good looking people. I have a LOT of friends who are like that.

I have always went out of my way however, to befriend those who were not part of the "group". The ones who nobody liked, because they were "wierd". And in doing this, it has not hindered my opportunities with the ladies, not in the slightest.

So have I. They aren't necessarily ugly, they are just not socially intelligent etc. One dude that is one of my best friends back home, he was a total warhammer geek etc. I started dragging him with me out to clubs, parties etc. Got him to start going to the gym with me, got him befriended with more people etc. Now he parties like two times a week, lives with my old friends etc (Even though he still is abit geekish his social antennas have really stretched). Even helped him with girls

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Originally posted by Kineti[C]harm
To be honest I don't hang around below average looking people because I feel uncomfortable around them and I don't like being associated with ugly company.

KC, I'm disappointed in you that you carry such a demeaning attitude - this is something that I would expect a female to verbalize and not come from the mind and mouth of a man.

Tell me Mr. Good Looking, what did you do to earn such favor from the gods to adorn you with such physical beauty? And then tell me what crime was committed by those less fortunate in their facial trait whereby they deserve such a fate of rejection and scorn from others who feel superior to them?

What? OK, so you did nothing and they did nothing! So why should you and others who deem themselves 'higher' than the 'uglies' be given favor? Are you deserving of such positive attention? No, it is just fate you say.

If it is our fate and we have no control on how we look when we come out the womb then why would you subscribe an inferior and superior position on such an arbitrary factor and not judge the worth of others on something more deliberate and controllable such as one's character and deeds?

If you don't like to associate yourself with ugly company then why do you constantly keep the company of hors? Hors are women of the lowest character and the untrustworthiest of all people! Shouldn't you judge them by their 'voluntary' actions instead of their 'involuntary' facial traits?

This is where most DJ's fail, because they mistake physical beauty with 'good' company. To the contrary, a woman with no scruples has led many men to their demise and downfall. How and why? You ask.

Hors know that they could use their so-called facial beauty to gain a false confidence and comfort level with others for their own benefit and pleasure. and they do this because the first quality of a hor is 'selfishness'. This is why hos can come up to a guy that they don't even know and have the chump buy her a drink - the chump is trying to gain her favor - little does he know he is being manipulated by the glamour of her face!! What a fool!!

How many 'ugly' guys have led men to their downfall? None, you say. Correctamundo! Can 'ugly' people use this involuntary, uncontrollable facial trait for deceit and for their own benefit? No, they cannot! So wouldn’t it be better to company with those who are not out for their personal gain and who show their worth through their honorable character and righteous deeds and not through the vanity of their ‘looks’. Who is more worthy?

Say no to hos and to ho-mos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Quickclicker]

I started to re-read this post, and I don't know whether this is similar to what you guys are feeling.

I can kind of relate to what you guys are talking about, but in a rather different way. I'd rate myself around a 8 in looks, but the thing about my facial structure is that I look "different," as was mentioned in some previous posts. When I go out, people stare ALOT, but it's not really because I'm so "good looking" or whatever, it's because I look "wierd."

Where-ever I go, I usually hear people say I look like a "Don", a "mafia boss", a "ruthless killer", or like I'm "pissed of", but I've really started to not give a fuk. Wherever I go, guys always seem to wanna "challenge me" and start shyt. Not to bring in race, but Cacausian girls always say I'm scary looking, and African American, Latino, and Middle Eastern girls usually say I'm handsome (if they are attracted to me that is).

Thus, I'm also really self-conscious. People assume I'm conceited and think I'm trying to be a big shot. I talk to nerds, AFC'S, and DJ's. Ironically, the people I'm most comfortable with are nerds because with them our discussions flow around intellectual topics and not about chicks. More stimulating. I wouldn't stop TALKING with these people just because they are "ugly," but I would have difficulty HANGING OUT with these people.

Let me ask you guys a subjective question. How many here would hang around with a ugly dude when you CONSIDER yourself to be good-looking? I mean go out with him to the mall, eat out, go to clubs, etc. I am willing to bet 99% of you people would not.

 

[DJUofS]

Originally posted by Quickclicker

Let me ask you guys a subjective question. How many here would hang around with a ugly dude when you CONSIDER yourself to be good-looking? I mean go out with him to the mall, eat out, go to clubs, etc. I am willing to bet 99% of you people would not.

Another question you should ask yourself is: "What truly is ugly?" I have met one person in my entire life that I could truly say was butt ugly, but that's it. Part of the reason this person was ugly was because of his arrogant personality. He thought he was better than just about everyone. Other than that, most guys are decent looking. Most guys have their imperfections and their good traits.

I am thinking of an old buddy from high school who wasn't a very good looking person at all. Actually, he was one of the uglier (looks wise) kids in our class. However, he was quite the DJ simply because of his display of confidence and charisma. So, if you base who you hang out with on looks, sounds like you have some insecurities of your own.

 

[Quickclicker]

Originally posted by DJUofS
Another question you should ask yourself is: "What truly is ugly?" I have met one person in my entire life that I could truly say was butt ugly, but that's it. Part of the reason this person was ugly was because of his arrogant personality. He thought he was better than just about everyone. Other than that, most guys are decent looking. Most guys have their imperfections and their good traits.

I am thinking of an old buddy from high school who wasn't a very good looking person at all. Actually, he was one of the uglier (looks wise) kids in our class. However, he was quite the DJ simply because of his display of confidence and charisma. So, if you base who you hang out with on looks, sounds like you have some insecurities of your own.

Good point. As I mentioned in the post, the question I was going to ask was going to be subjective since "ugly" technically has no universal definition. Society as a whole is WAY more superficial than it has ever been nowadays, and as a result, I think that most people tend to shy away from others who don't "equal" what they perceive as their own outter "self-worth." People don't want to date someone who they consider "ugly" externally. Applying that to a friend level, I just think that people want to have companions who match them in this area. There maybe exceptions, but I'm talking as a general whole. If my assumption is wrong, please explain to me as to where my judgment is skewed. Thanks.

 

[Pro]

Im so self conscious, that's why you always see me with at least one of my watches.

 

[CLOONEY]

Originally posted by DJUofS
Another question you should ask yourself is: "What truly is ugly?" I have met one person in my entire life that I could truly say was butt ugly, but that's it. Part of the reason this person was ugly was because of his arrogant personality. He thought he was better than just about everyone. Other than that, most guys are decent looking. Most guys have their imperfections and their good traits.

I am thinking of an old buddy from high school who wasn't a very good looking person at all. Actually, he was one of the uglier (looks wise) kids in our class. However, he was quite the DJ simply because of his display of confidence and charisma. So, if you base who you hang out with on looks, sounds like you have some insecurities of your own.

Oh, come on dude!! ANYBODY knows when someone is UGLY!! It is quiet simple!!! Dont give me that sh*t, trying to bring in perceptions about the person and all other kinds of crap!!

As to the question, about 99% of people "good looking", not hanging out with "ugly" people. Two of my best friends would be considered GOOFY and UGLY!!

But definately, people who dont hang out with "ugly" people, just for that reason are simply young, closed minded and/or insecure.

 

[ScrewIt]

Originally posted by > Gucci Boy

It's just fvcked up when you wanna get to know someone or when you wanna have a serious discussion with him and you feel like he's jealous because you're just better-looking! That fvcks up the whole moment and it drives you away from the important things! It's basically like this: you like a person, but you are scared that this person does not like you only because you are handsome!

this is true to certain ppl, while not everyone will be likethis.
I have a somewhat AFC friend, but he's never had a gf nor even bother try hooking up w/one cause he thinks he cant get one cause he's not attractive, he has low self-esteem and doesnt really do anything w/his life cause of it.
anyway back to the topic.

Sometimes i feel like he wants to compete with me or win over me in certain fields. whenever i bring up something about a girl that i saw somehwere and gave her a rating....he'd always bring this up...i dont trust your taste. he doesnt have confidence himself, so he crap talks about fights and ****...just so he could seem all that...anytime he'd bring up something like that, he'd say i would just run away. i've seen situations where ppl have tried to start sh*t w/him, he just walks away from it. just cause he's not as attractive as me, or better success in life than me, he brings up stuff to put me down. why?? cause i think this makes him feel better about himself, and that he's better than me in certain departments...or knows more than me, he keeps bringing up situations where he says he knows a lot about girls....where when the last time he ever liked a girl was in elementary school, so that makes him think he knows a lot about girls. i know lots of girls & guys in my school many of htem are friends, i've even been in the dating scene, and know more about him, but i dont bother telling him this stuff cause he'll just get bitter about it, and telling him wont help me in anyway. how many girl friends does he have?? NONE

usually im cool with him, but there will always be times where he will try to put me down so he can feel better about himself.
there are times where he may feel bitter about me. I just ignore what he says and laugh with him, cause i know that's the type of person he is, it doesnt get to me, cause he repeats the same **** about me all the time. he always has a negative attitude, in class, hang outs, everywhere. even if a girl was interested in him, she'd be turned off when she talks to him.

He acts incredibly AFCish when me & him are alone chilling, cant even make decisions. when 1 other AFC friend is around, he just gets more ****y and his confidence raises 1 bar, but his AFCish still shows.
he tries to prove himself to his friend, he talks to him more and they understand each other well as they are similar in many ways.
he probably feels he's more at his level than i am, cause im in a completely different ball game.

usually ppl such as him dont get anywhere in life, why?? cause they bring it on themselves. I dont blame them if they want to put me down or if they're jealous of me. I mean life's all about competition, everybody wants to be on top.
But i dont think you should let your physical appearance dominate over your path in life....if you're letting that bring you down in succeeding in life, then you're not better tahn the bum down the street.

 

[gentleman193]

valid point

In college over summer had a roommate who was a "pretty boy." Women would ask me to introduce them, etc. Not only that, but he was also rich, had the threads, the car, and even flew airplanes. And, being a physics major, was probably smarter than me, too.

Naturally he only would hang out with the other rich pretty boys and pretty much ignored the existence of me and the other guy in our rooming group. And just as naturally we talked plenty of **** about him to whoever was interested, went so far as to fuk up some of his hookups (nothing like a wet mattress to ruin an evening) and we knew he was too weak to confront us about it.

In fact, he was not only shy but self concscious. It was easy to bully him even in front of women. He didn't know anything about approaching women b/c they always approached him. He didn't even find some of the women he slept with attractive; he basically just got used by them.

I don't know what the moral of the story is. I guess we acted like jealous *****es. But, it's pretty damn obvious when the rich beautiful people don't want anything to do with you. It's hard to feel bad for them when they get ratted out on the witness stand by their best friends, sold out by their employees, or otherwise screwed over by the rest of us ugly mother-fukkers.

 

[AMF]

Ok some good replies here

As gentlemen said, people also have no sympathy for attractive people if they f*ck up, and others ight go as far as trying to bring them down. Fact is, thats just unfair, because being attractive can make you horribly self conscious, downright insecure and even shy (like that "poor" guy.)

I think the point is that being attractive can damage confidence as much as it can help, because if you are desirable you have something to lose, i.e, your desirability. People will scrutinise you more, looks AND personality, so flaws and weaknesses will be more noticeable, and more damaging to confidence.

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover
KC, I'm disappointed in you that you carry such a demeaning attitude - this is something that I would expect a female to verbalize and not come from the mind and mouth of a man.

Something I forgot to tell in my posts was that this is generally with women. I don't care really what my mates look like, I have a couple of really ugly friends but I couldn't care less. It's just that I don't really feel comfortable around ugly girls.

 

[ScrewIt]

Originally posted by Kineti[C]harm
It's just that I don't really feel comfortable around ugly girls.

haha who really would?


yep....one of my other friend resents me and tries to bring me down. he always tries to put down almost everything i say, he's a pretty ignorant person, but usually stuff i tell him he'll act like he doesnt believe it or that im wrong. He always tries to prove me wrong many times. he's ugly, but i dont think he's anything gruesome looking.

you could be a much more brighter, successful, smarter guy than him, and he would care less as long as you're on the same level of physical appearance as him. almost everyone i've seen him hang out with or know that i know, he treats them equally well.
but for some reason, he will always try to find imperfections or flaws and try to put me down. such as things i tell him, things i've experienced, my opinion. And especially, the people who dont have gf's or never had one before, he will keep closeby them as a friend (+ as long as you're in the same department of looks as him). why?? cause he's never had one either!!
You can be the friendliest guy in the world and he will still be bitter towards you just cause you beat him in the looks department.

i find that the ugly ones that have low self-esteem, low confidence, and are negative about life...generally pissed about his life (such as this guy i hang out with, with the way he treats me there's no way i can even consider him a friend). These are the ones you need t owatch out for, as they will always try to put you down.

 

[EternalBachelor]

I have always been very self-conscious too. As a teen I had very bad acne and while it has improved it is still bad. I am borderline attractive in that on a good day I am handsome and on a bad day I am average looking, but the bad days happen more frequently than the bad days. And yes it does make a very visible difference in my confidence. It is sad as this is really a very feminine thing-judging your worth on your beauty and feeling insecure about your looks, and yes I have observed it more in goodlooking girls. One blemish or spot and they go all antisocial and withdraw

I am of the opinion that ugliness is much more to do with personality. People who smile a lot and are friendly and easy-going go far to compensate any shortcomings in their looks, while people who frown, scowl or glare and are arrogant or selfish are instantly ugly in my eye.

Another weird thing. To me most other people look the same pretty well all the time. But I look really different (in my view) from day to day and in different mirrors (in bathroom mirrors I always look ugly while in lift mirrors I look good-could be the lighting). I am sure my looks don't fluctuate that much so it could just be perception.

 

[Quickclicker]

Originally posted by EternalBachelor
[B
Another weird thing. To me most other people look the same pretty well all the time. But I look really different (in my view) from day to day and in different mirrors (in bathroom mirrors I always look ugly while in lift mirrors I look good-could be the lighting). I am sure my looks don't fluctuate that much so it could just be perception. [/B]

Hey guys, you've made some good points. I guess my initial statements weren't accurate after all .

I wanted to just highlight this quote above, since I have the SAME DAMN PROBLEM. Geez, I thought I was the only one. After I've got ready (shaved, bath, etc.), I'm be like, "WTF, I look like shyt" when I look in one mirror. I'm all down and depressed because all that wasn't "worth it."

Then I might be walking, and see my reflection on a car or another mirror, and be like, "WTF just happened, now I look damn fine ." What's even worse though is now you start wondering, "What if I look like the shyt I was in that mirror?", and get even more self-conscious. In a way, it's like you think your two different people externally. Yet, your face never changes, but rather your perception of it does due to external factors like light. Basicallly, the MIND is one big illusion.

 

[EternalBachelor]

Gosh Quickclicker, I am glad I am not the only one like this. How can I go from being an 8 in one mirror or one day to being a 5 the next. No-one elses looks I know are that volatile, so it must be just my imagination or the shape of the mirror or lighting or something. Cannot explain it, but it is kinda weird not knowing what you really look like.

 

[Too_Nice]

hey screwit,

is your name steven by any chance

 

[ScrewIt]

WTF?

who do you take me for? answer is nope u got the wrong guy.