self confidence

[memphis12]

Well i have a post on here about my ex, but after readin through various posts on here i am startin to realise things about myeself.

here are the things.

1. i am obbsessed with my looks, i would say very attractive, and have to look nice all the time, but i never be-little my friends or act like i love myself, i just take pride in my apearence.

2. I am obbsessed with my age, i am 25, and have just broken up wiv girl that was total in love with me, but left because she felt that because i always got chatted up by attractive girls i would leave her for one, anuways the age thing makes me think that i am soon goin to put women off because of how old i am.

3. I have a son, and believe it or not som girls can be really nasty when it comes to this, i told one girl after month of txtn and stuff that i had son and she cried for nearly an hour, so my son can be off puttin

4. I just read a post on here that this guy thought looks would get him everythin... im sorta like what he was like, i can get them but then go all shy.

5. I have to ask everyone everything, my ex's say they feel like they are havin a realtionship wiv me my ex, my mates, my sis and my mam... i ask them if i look nice b4 i go out, if i should go out wiv somone, everythin!

6. I am always worried about what ppl think of my girlfriends, because my mates always expect me to have stunnin lass, i always get nervous when i introduce them, my first love who i have kid to wasnt that pretty and i was never bothered what ppl thought about her, untill we split up

7. When im with a girl, i analyse everything! i always try and catch them out and wonder why they say stuff in certain ways, always go on about there past, i get really insecure about peoples past and never let it drop, think this is because my main love who i had kid wiv had been wiv double figures the time she was 15, and i had only been wiv 1.. i ask stupid questions about stuff all the time.

8. I feel i cant do stuff like watchin films and playin games, because i should be out there gettin new girlfriend.

I know some of u will tell me i shouldnt be postin on here and i just need to get a grip, but im amazed at how much some of you's know and have helped me in some ways already, so i thought instead of goin to see shrink, maybe some of you's could help me out.

thanks alot.

 

[Royal Elite]

Although you are 25 you have the mental, and emotional control of a 16 year old.

You need to get a grip, and what I mean by that is learn to control your "spirit" more. Once you learn how to control yourself or your "spirit" you wont be at the whim of every outside circumstance. When outside factors easily shift how you act, and feel then you have little self control.

Always get a woman's past. You must learn a woman's life story, for everytime a person tells you something personal they are giving you a piece of their soul.

This is how guys steal other guys girls: they become interested in "her" when the current boyfriend feels he knows enough about her and cease to probe, and get info from her.

 

[memphis12]

i agree with the maturaty thing, i always play mind games with them as well, i always make them feel like i will leave but then i dont or that i want to go out wiv mates, but deep down i dont, im not being silly here, but im such a nice person, and was so not bothered wiv me and my main ex gayle, and think she has mentaly scared me, i never have one night stands, i have attractive girls sleep over, but i dont have sex wiv them out of respect... i make them wait, i guess deep down i think i will get hurt again, like i did when me and gayle finished, we had house and son, then suddenly she tells me she isnt in love with me anymore.. and that she loved a lad who was interested in the same things as her at college, i do need to get a grip mate, but this self control thing might be onto sumik, as i have no patience when it comes to girls, i always want to see them, want me to be the centre of there world and everything, the thing is they always fall in love with me nearly straight away, but sometimes i just go out with them so i can sleep with them, but feel one night stands aren't nice...

 

[Royal Elite]

Originally posted by memphis12
i agree with the maturaty thing, i always play mind games with them as well, i always make them feel like i will leave but then i dont or that i want to go out wiv mates, but deep down i dont, im not being silly here, but im such a nice person, and was so not bothered wiv me and my main ex gayle, and think she has mentaly scared me, i never have one night stands, i have attractive girls sleep over, but i dont have sex wiv them out of respect... i make them wait, i guess deep down i think i will get hurt again, like i did when me and gayle finished, we had house and son, then suddenly she tells me she isnt in love with me anymore.. and that she loved a lad who was interested in the same things as her at college, i do need to get a grip mate, but this self control thing might be onto sumik, as i have no patience when it comes to girls, i always want to see them, want me to be the centre of there world and everything, the thing is they always fall in love with me nearly straight away, but sometimes i just go out with them so i can sleep with them, but feel one night stands aren't nice...

Remember if you cant "control yourself" you cant have control of a relationship with someone else in it.

 

[memphis12]

yeah i know mate, and this sounds really stupid, but was hopin u could maybe help me on some of my problems, because i need t be able to control a relationship...

 

[Royal Elite]

Originally posted by memphis12
yeah i know mate, and this sounds really stupid, but was hopin u could maybe help me on some of my problems, because i need t be able to control a relationship...

You have to learn to control your emotions. Men are not designed to be overly emotional, it messes up your thinking abilities.

Learn to control how you move, and how you speak: Number one rule is slow down all your movements, and speech which allows you to think before you say something.

People can feel when a person has excellent self control, its make you move and look more dignified. Watch how prince charles and royalty move, act and talk.

Study some meditations books, since mediation is all about controlling one's self.

 

[memphis12]

your right again mate, my mates especially the older ones said i never ever think before i speak, i always tell the truth but this isnt always a good thing... and my ex said me not thinkin before i speak is one of reasons it made her feel insecure, i would tell her stuff i shouldnt have about past experiences and just say stupid stuff... i reckon i need to go and see someone to be honest/