Self-centered and selfish person

[amoka]

Within an hour, two women called me a "self-centered","selfish" individual at two separate occasions. I was at my ex's place and we were talking then she said "it never occurred to how self-centered you are." Now she has told me this couple of weeks ago and I told her I don't like her to be telling me this. Then upon leaving her my FB called and I went to her place. Alright, we were talking and at one point she said "amoka, everybody knows you: you're a self-centered and selfish person."

I know I don't feel/think a damn what others think about me but I tried looking at the symptoms of a Self-centered person and I fit into almost all of them. I would like to change certain aspects of my life in this avenue. Has anybody been told this or has anyone know how to overcome this...

Thank you.

 

[LeftyLoosey]

Statements like those are usually made by women who are frustrated by the fact that they can't manipulate you into giving them what they want. If you didn't know the definition of irony, now you do.

From the Anti-Male Shaming Tactics Catalog:

Charge of Selfishness (Code Silver)

Discussion: This attack is self-explanatory. It is a common charge hurled at men who do not want to be bothered with romantic pursuits. Examples:

* “You are so materialistic.”
* “You are so greedy.”

Response: It may be beneficial to turn the accusation back on the one pressing the charge. For instance, one may retort, “So you are saying I shouldn’t spend my money on myself, but should instead spend it on a woman like you —and you accuse me of being selfish?? Just what were you planning to do for me anyway?”

http://www.dumpyourwifenow.com/2007/03/01/the-anti-male-shaming-tactics-catalog/

 

[The Gamer]

He just said that he see's the traits of a selfish person in himself. Your post is irrelevant.

One way to overcome this (politically), for a naturally selfish person, is to understand the benefits of coming off as unselfish to others! Humans are the gatekeepers to everything you will ever desire in life, therefore it's in your best interests to become more empathetic. Simply knowing and understanding the implications of this should be enough to shake your psyche into the mold which you are desiring.

I hope that over time your empathy will come from a more noble source...but thats just my empathy speaking.

goodluck

 

[Rounder]

I look at it like this - we're ALL selfish to some extent. We all manipulate our environment to make us happy. Everyone tries to do that - it's basic.

I've been called selfish as well. But when it's friends or family involved I will bend over backwards to help them.

I'm picky about who gets all of me. People who want to call me selfish just don't know me very well and there's a reason for that.

 

[speed dawg]

Sounds like it's the truth. But my question is, why do you choose to hear the truth from your ex? It can't be healthy and positive for your life.

 

[amoka]

I am not selfish. I do show generosity and empathy occasionally. The reason why my ex said this was because she said while we were "together", I told her "we are not dating and that she should find another man to date, but upon finding another man, I wanted her back." She thinks this is a self-centered behavior. Really, I just had a "breakup remorse" with her and wanted her back after she told me she finds someone that she is interest in dating.

 

[speed dawg]

I know I don't feel/think a damn what others think about me but I tried looking at the symptoms of a Self-centered person and I fit into almost all of them

I'm just going by what you said, man.

But we're all selfish to an extent. I mean, you have to look out for #1. You also said you were taking steps to be less selfish. I'm doing the same thing. Sounds like you're on the right track. My point is, why are you putting yourself in a position to get advice from your ex? You think she really knows what's best for you? I'd stay away from all negative thinking that could bring you down, and that's all exes are good for.

 

[LeftyLoosey]

I am not selfish. I do show generosity and empathy occasionally. The reason why my ex said this was because she said while we were "together", I told her "we are not dating and that she should find another man to date, but upon finding another man, I wanted her back." She thinks this is a self-centered behavior. Really, I just had a "breakup remorse" with her and wanted her back after she told me she finds someone that she is interest in dating.

This is completely different from your original post.

In this different scenario you describe, it sounds like your ex is just trying to put a power-move on you so that if she does take you back, she'll end up in control of the relationship.

As soon as you beg a girl to take you back, you've lost the frame. There's no point in doing this if you want a good relationship. It's too late.

 

[mrRuckus]

Do you take the last piece of pizza?

 

[The Gamer]

Your nuts, dude.

Your OP stated that you believe you fit into the role of a self-centered person then your very next post defends yourself saying your not!

Are you bi-polar?

Note : Don't respond to amoka anymore.

 

[amoka]

Your nuts, dude.

Your OP stated that you believe you fit into the role of a self-centered person then your very next post defends yourself saying your not!

Are you bi-polar?

Note : Don't respond to amoka anymore.

Lol... alright, I had a "breakup remorse" with my ex and she wanted to use the opportunity to manipulate my way of thinking. I AM NOT SELFISH. Sweet....


I could not post a new reply so I am editing here:
Anyway, here is a link to the site where I got the information. Anybody else have any of their "symptoms & signs?"

 

[DJDamage]

I rather be called "selfish and self centered" and have women fvck me then be called a "nice guy" and have women not fvck me and walk all over me.

 

[Deep Dish]

I believe it was Anti-Dump who said something to the effect one's personal love life is the one time in life you rightfully should be selfish (though I believe that was in the context of who you pick as a mate). Whoever said it, those words are etched indelibly in my memory.

 

[backbreaker]

as someone stated earlier, everyone is selfish to some extent. people do things for selfish reasons. do you think people go to work for 50 hours a week because they love giving back to the company? Or pass up that last slice of cake simply becuase they wish that everyone else would share it and be happy (or becuse they want to lose weight to have all the men looking at her in the office).
It's really a "down to my last bullet" statement. My GF tells me, or hell a woman in general tellsme I'm being selfish when she can't get her way.

No one calls you selfish when you abide by their wihims and wishes. it's only when they realize that they can't get their way.

then becuase it's so socially wrong to be "selfish", you go out of your way to show how NOT selfish you are

**** em. First of all, I know I am and who I am not and I am extremely comfortable in my skin. I want what I want.

Also, I think the bigger problem is that you, or anyone else, feels the need to prove how unselfish you are.

this is a **** test and by trying to show her how "unselifsh" you are you are going to fail.

Who cares if they think you are selifsh? The bigger question is why do you care so much if they think you are selifsh?

What is wrong with wanting what you want and sticking to it?

 

[KontrollerX]

Statements like those are usually made by women who are frustrated by the fact that they can't manipulate you into giving them what they want. If you didn't know the definition of irony, now you do.

From the Anti-Male Shaming Tactics Catalog:

Charge of Selfishness (Code Silver)

Discussion: This attack is self-explanatory. It is a common charge hurled at men who do not want to be bothered with romantic pursuits. Examples:

* “You are so materialistic.”
* “You are so greedy.”

Response: It may be beneficial to turn the accusation back on the one pressing the charge. For instance, one may retort, “So you are saying I shouldn’t spend my money on myself, but should instead spend it on a woman like you —and you accuse me of being selfish?? Just what were you planning to do for me anyway?”

http://www.dumpyourwifenow.com/2007/03/01/the-anti-male-shaming-tactics-catalog/

Co-sign.

Don't bother looking for any signs of selfishness in yourself as even if its there its what women want and are attracted to and more importantly it doesn't seem to be hurting your success in life so fvck what these broads say.

Their opinion is garbage and was given to break you down so they could get advantage over you.

 

[Aenigma]

Statements like those are usually made by women who are frustrated by the fact that they can't manipulate you into giving them what they want. If you didn't know the definition of irony, now you do.

From the Anti-Male Shaming Tactics Catalog:

Charge of Selfishness (Code Silver)

Discussion: This attack is self-explanatory. It is a common charge hurled at men who do not want to be bothered with romantic pursuits. Examples:

* “You are so materialistic.”
* “You are so greedy.”

Response: It may be beneficial to turn the accusation back on the one pressing the charge. For instance, one may retort, “So you are saying I shouldn’t spend my money on myself, but should instead spend it on a woman like you —and you accuse me of being selfish?? Just what were you planning to do for me anyway?”

http://www.dumpyourwifenow.com/2007/03/01/the-anti-male-shaming-tactics-catalog/

Agree 100%

Other words that women use in a similar fashion:
Jerk
Azzhole
Narcasistic
Big Ego
"Why are you mean to me"
"You must have been hurt"

There's more but that's what I remember off the top of my head.

 

[fertileTurtle]

I apologize ahead of time, because I didn't read the whole thread, just your OP. Aside from what eveyone else said here, don't be caught up in an emotional response just because you heard this a couple of times. Next time someone says that to you ask them to be specific as to what they mean and then think about it and leave it at that. Everyone is selfish to some point.