Selective Anxiety

[Baruch]

Ive noticed that at some situations I just cannot open my mouth, i freeze, or my heart rate goes real high and i just sit there like a mummy. Lately in all of my classes, ive been making comments and just being myself, which seems to go just fine. But tonight I went to a weekly thing that we have here, there are just a bunch of jewish singles and we sit there and discuss issues with our rabbi. Its a fun meeting, I only know one dude there, he is a natural don juan from what ive heard..anyways, back on the topic, i just seem to freeze in teh group when i want to say something, or i just sit there and think about what i want to say and completly lose what they are talking about.

I know its some sort of anxiety, or maybe just low self esteem, but its selective, some places im fine, others im not.

Ive been walking around school and smiling at girls and I always get a smile back, but im scared to say something...my heart just goes to fast. i even had a hb7 pass by me the other day and smile at me first, but i panicked and didnt do anything.

Im trying hard to overcome this issue and be able to talk infrot of people i dont know and be my usual self, which can be pretty funny at times.

 

[wiggadude]

welcome to the club

 

[Delta]

look up mike pilinski on google and get his book.

i don't work for the guy. nor do i get a cut.

but i recommend him cuz his book just may have saved my life.

$35 ebook and it may tell you exactly why you feel the way you do.

i'd just tell you but again, i feel a lot of loyalty to the guy.

money back guarantee and hell, email him and ask him to tell you if you can't afford it. he probably will!

luck.

delta

 

[Alpine]

I totally agree with delta. Plinski knows what you're thinking before you've even thought it.

All this stuff is covered in more detail than in other ebooks.

Having said that, you're not a robot, except sometimes for NO reason it happens.

 

[Baruch]

Originally posted by dementia
i used to be like that, and now im not.

The only thing i can think of to get over it is, it took time and i thought alot about it, and i worked on it gradually.

Have u improved on this any? If so think about when u used to be scared to do a certain thing that u now do. For some people theyd even be scared to goto a social group such as yours. Atleast u got out there and went.

Try some self affirmations, and also MEMORIZING feelings. There was a DJ Tip about this a few months ago i think. IE: Think of a time u are totally comfertable, like playing xbox on ur tv at home with ur mates or something, and try to memorize that feeling when in those awkward situations.

I had a few self affirmations. They should be always positive and never include negative words IE: (DOnt be sad)... Apparently ur mind only picks up on key words like SAD.

One thing i always tell myself in my head is

- BE SELF ASSURED

For some reason this just has alot of meaning for me, more than BE CONFIDENT even. I think self assurance is like a subset of confidence.... therefore its easier to break down what confidence actually IS.

Being self assured to me, means, KNOWING that what ever you say or do people will respond positively to and it will further their interest in you and want you around.

Hope that helped. i doubt it did, but thats my 2 cents. All i know is it takes time to get over this kinda thing. Also try confidence building stuff like working out, doing stuff that make u feel good. Dont have secrets, talk about what u love doing, be proud of what u work as, study, hobbies and just let it out. (aslong as it aint geeky), practise having a smart ass answer for girls, teasing etc.

Teasing chicks and having a smart-ass answer for everything when chicks talked to me, was something that relaly helped build me confidence, help me get laid a few times, and also got me out of the habbit of putting people above me for no reason

Being the way I am right now, leads to kind of a lonely type of life with only couple of friends. When I say that, I must give an image of some dorky looking guy or a goth (stereotupically speaking). I am far from it. I remember last year I went on a cruise and was surrounded by my friends, so I had a blast of a time, although I wasnt good at meeting new people as my friend was, I had one of the hottest rich mexican girls my age on that cruise hover around me and SHE tried to hook up with me. She actually thought I was this and that, when I reassured her I was a regular Joe. (AFC mistake)

I love to party, but at the same time only if I show up there after a few drinks, otherwise I feel odd and out of place. If im sober, I'm usually nurveous before I go anywhere where I know only one person or non at all and I have to be there for a prolonged time.

This group actually is a good thing, I got signed up a for a soccer team and will be starting practice soon. I thought it would be a good way of meeting people especially since Ive been planing on finding a team because I love the game.

I workout, try to gain weight, and I think due to that I actually get more stares from girls since I dont resemble a stick figure anymore.

I will look into that author's readings, thanks for the support.