"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Seeking failure (and failing) - Help!

izza

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Hello all,

I've been on this site for about three months now and have taken the time to read, absorb, and practice many parts of the DJB.

Now I'm doing BC, but I have to confess that I'm finding the part where I get rejected for phone numbers particularly difficult. Saying hello to HBs is easy, making conversation is a bit harder; but I'm having no luck converting conversations into phone number requests. Any suggestions for good places to do this?

Part of me just feels really uncomfortable asking for phone numbers from near-strangers. Stupid perhaps, but true nonetheless. Help! Any advice? Has anyone been in this situation before (I'm sure someone has)?

Izza

Note to self: Phone number requests are an extension of the 10 conversation week. I must have the same eagerness to greet all, start conversations in cafes, restaurants, with waitresses. Just as I must be ready to start conversation in any situation, no matter how "inappropriate," forward, unlikely (or likely) success may be, I must be ready to ask for a phone number in adverse conditions. Few other types of conditions exist :- )

BC is so much fun, but this part is really frustrating.

Izza
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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BLUEox117

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Originally posted by izza
Hello all,

I've been on this site for about three months now and have taken the time to read, absorb, and practice many parts of the DJB.

Now I'm doing BC, but I have to confess that I'm finding the part where I get rejected for phone numbers particularly difficult. Saying hello to HBs is easy, making conversation is a bit harder; but I'm having no luck converting conversations into phone number requests. Any suggestions for good places to do this?

Part of me just feels really uncomfortable asking for phone numbers from near-strangers. Stupid perhaps, but true nonetheless. Help! Any advice? Has anyone been in this situation before (I'm sure someone has)?

Izza

Note to self: Phone number requests are an extension of the 10 conversation week. I must have the same eagerness to greet all, start conversations in cafes, restaurants, with waitresses. Just as I must be ready to start conversation in any situation, no matter how "inappropriate," forward, unlikely (or likely) success may be, I must be ready to ask for a phone number in adverse conditions. Few other types of conditions exist :- )

BC is so much fun, but this part is really frustrating.

Izza
i dont see a question in your post, so if i gave u any type of answer it would just be a bunch of bull**** that you could probaobly read anywhere else
 

izza

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Rephrase attempt 1 (I'll number them just to be safe :- P)

Blueox,

The problem: I am saying hello and starting conversations with women, but I am having an unbelievably hard time asking for the phone number from strangers. The conversations just always seem to reach some awkward point, where the person I just cold approached looks really uncomfortable or ready to get back to whatever, then I can't think of anything else to say so I just excuse myself and leave. The problem is that I need to get rejected 10 times for BC and I can't seem to muster a single phone number request from a stranger (I have some from acquaintances).

The question: what would you on sosuave recommend? These are the options I see, but feel free to add another. 1.) Just ask any old girl I see on the street for her phone number out of the blue, with no introduction or conversation. 2.) Start a lame conversation and no matter how awkward or irratated the girl looks, ask for her phone number anyway. 3.) Practice exactly how to ask for the number, then it will get easier. 4.) Shut up and just do it.

Obviously every answer will include number 4, but hopefully they will include one of the other three too. :- )

That's my question, it's probably a lame one - but the guidance of others who have overcome being uncomfortable asking for random phone numbers would be appreciated.

Izza
 

BLUEox117

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Re: Rephrase attempt 1 (I'll number them just to be safe :- P)

Originally posted by izza
Blueox,

The problem: I am saying hello and starting conversations with women, but I am having an unbelievably hard time asking for the phone number from strangers. The conversations just always seem to reach some awkward point, where the person I just cold approached looks really uncomfortable or ready to get back to whatever, then I can't think of anything else to say so I just excuse myself and leave. The problem is that I need to get rejected 10 times for BC and I can't seem to muster a single phone number request from a stranger (I have some from acquaintances).

The question: what would you on sosuave recommend? These are the options I see, but feel free to add another. 1.) Just ask any old girl I see on the street for her phone number out of the blue, with no introduction or conversation. 2.) Start a lame conversation and no matter how awkward or irratated the girl looks, ask for her phone number anyway. 3.) Practice exactly how to ask for the number, then it will get easier. 4.) Shut up and just do it.

Obviously every answer will include number 4, but hopefully they will include one of the other three too. :- )

That's my question, it's probably a lame one - but the guidance of others who have overcome being uncomfortable asking for random phone numbers would be appreciated.

Izza
um 1 is stalker
2 is u cant read signs
3 is the obvious choice
what else can i say?

3 explains itself
PRACTICE
reading about it wont help u
so ur right it includes 4.
 

Life-Trainee

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You can usually predict the outcome of the conversation in the first minute or less. Assuming you talk to them even that long.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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izza

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Obviously option 3 is the way to GET phone numbers, but all I want is to get rejected, since I'm having trouble even getting the words "what's your number?" out.

F*** this, I'm gonna just do option one (and four) :- )

David
 

izza

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HAHA despite all my efforts I am still failing to fail

Well, I thought I finally had a phone number rejection.

I was getting so sick of never having been rejected, and then I realized there was some hot chick I knew from a club, and that I had her email address. I thought to myself **** this, I'll just do it. I emailed her with no subject, the body was "what's your phone number?" That's it.

"That'll earn me a rejection." I thought to myself. Hearing nothing for a couple of days, I started celebrating like a loonytunes my first rejection. I was so happy - haha, why, WHY, did she have to email me back her number?

Life is so cruel, all I want is to fail. :- P

Izza
 

Nightspark

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i thought the rejections have to be from chicks who are strangers...

izza the fact that the babe from the club gave u her fone number when u originally had her email is a sign... :D

a sign that you shouldnt go out and cheat this and actually ask for numbers from strangers! :rolleyes:

Oh and yeah... im up to this task as well :D


Peaceout and Godspeed!
-Nightspark
 

izza

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LOL

Nightspark,

Oops, I wasn't quite clear. I had her email because I'm on the same mailing list as her for a school club.

But having said that, you're absolutely right Nightspark and I wouldn't dream of saying anything I've done has counted towards the 10 rejections I need for BC.

I won't deny that I've been finding it difficult to ask strangers for the digits - how much I risk will be how much I gain, and I honestly have very little to lose. I've learned so much in the past two months since I discovered this site, and there is so much more of life to discover.

I'm off to take some risks,

Izza
 
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