"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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seeing a psychologist?

spider_007

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I'm thinking of seeing one. I've been stuck in my head for a while now, and need to deal with some issues from childhood that are holding me back. Got some views on life and relationships that aren't serving me at all.

Has anybody been there? Good results? Recommend it?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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( . )( . )

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Probably not. Psychology is an estrogen packed blue pilled joke. If I can't fix my inner self then some bozo with a plaque on the wall proving she qualified out of cult-marx.edu is probably not going to fix me either. Unless I got a red pilled real-talker who's equal to or greater the man I am to snap some sense into me then perhaps, but what's the chances of that?

If on the other hand I'm ready to join the rest of the over-medicated West and I need some meds to numb the constant reminder of this gay earth then yes I'd go to a psychologist, but that's probably the only time.
 

Tictac

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When I left the military in 1973, I spent about 22 days in a VA hospital in Boston. Diagnosis was Delayed Stress Reaction - a cousin to PTSD where you 'stuff' everything and it works it's way out anyway, usually after you're no longer in or near combat - 'in country'. No way in Hell I could have handled that on my own. And they got me (more or less) straightened out and without drugs.

You should know that the tools that psychologists use are not all that powerful. They can talk you through a lot though. But you will do most of the work, which is probably necessary anyway. If do this, find a guy, not a woman and be prepared to give it time.

As for psychotropics, I do not know much about anti-depressants and anti-anxiety drugs. I tend not to take medicine of any kind. I do think that mood drugs are WAY over-prescribed. So stay away from them unless YOU think they might be a good thing for YOU. And if you go that route, have an exit strategy for the medicine.

I hope this helps you.
 
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spider_007

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Not looking for drugs at all....just to dig up some of those old issues and barry them for good. I supose it would depend a lot on the therapist and the type of therapy he is practicing... will keep digging
 

backbreaker

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i've been seeing one for 5 years now, the same one now for 3. every other thursday.


it helps. but it's not a short term thing like a pill. you're not gonna go see one and like 2 sessions later you are like this zen like dude with all your **** in order. it takes time. it really took me.. a good year to see SOME results.


Probably, 30% of our sessions are us just shooting the ****. I work from home sometimes i just want to talk to someone not my wife and my son lol. 40% of the time is probably me just taking out my stress from work on her and me paying her to sit there and take it lol. But the other 30% of the time i actually walk out with a new perspective on ****. Like my need to be obsessive compulsive about everything, make lists, make 5 year ****ing long financial charts based on a week to week basis "(i bs you not lol), breaking down days in 2 minute intervals. OR how to not be so passive aggressive.. i tend to be passive agressive in real life and i'll just snap and when i snap i SNAP lol and no one knows where it comes from. the need to always have to be doing something. something. we're working on that now. i cannot, if you put 5 thousand dollars on a table and told me to just sit down, not look at your computer for work at all for a full 24 hours and not look at horse racing lol, just sit there and watch TV and ****, couldn't do it. i'd lose 5k. i have to stay busy doing something all the time and it wears me out becuase i NEVER wind down. gym, work, gym, horse racing, gym, sex, gym, sleep wake up gym, sex lol, hors eracing, work, gym, etc. there is no unwind for me. ill watch maybe 30-60 mins of actual TV a week.


**** you can directly look at my posting history and see when i started seeing a shrink lol. i'm a lot more melow, a lot more calm, i don't have as big a chip on my shoulder as i used to.

Not looking for drugs at all....just to dig up some of those old issues and barry them for good. I supose it would depend a lot on the therapist and the type of therapy he is practicing... will keep digging

that's cool but i'll tell you this. i was just like you. i hated drugs. i used to do hard drugs and i didn't want to ever take another drug again in my life.


after an extremely bad anxiety attack where i pretty much just went off on everyone around me for 2 days straight, then going to see my shrink and getting pissed off and wlaking out slaming the door behind me, her and my wife got together and said look here dude lol, you've gotten a lot better, but when you did drugs, you altered some **** in your head. you have a serious cheimcial imbalance. not saying you're a bad person, but i mean, you need a "nudge" to help you.


they put me on the lowest dosage of lexapro earlier this year and within a week i was like "damn this is how normal people feel" lol. now i'm pissed i went without it so long.


i''m a unique case because of my drug history but just saying, don't discount the stuff. it's not like addictive or anything, not SSRI's. Also a pretty good side effect is they make you last like 3x longer in bed becuase you can't nut lol and fapping is pretty much pointless lol. SSRI is pretty much a fap killer lol
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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resilient

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I can relate on working some of your inner game issues with a professional licensed counselor. I've been thinking about seeing an individual counselor for trust/anxiety issues myself.

I'm a spiritual man, but not overly religious and I had thought I had forgiven my last ex g/f before I met my wife a year later in 2006 about my trust hangups after catching my ex's lies, betrayal and deception. Now almost seven years later into our marriage, I can see I'm still facing the ghosts of my past with present trust issues.

My wife has never cheated to the best of my knowledge, yet when she backs off frequency of sex or intimacy/affection in attraction, I focus on that instead of focusing on what I'm doing that may be sabotaging the marriage. Good luck with your decision to go or not to go, Spider.
 

speed dawg

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Tits and Espi gave the advice you need, IMO.

Counseling/psychiatry/psychology/etc. will get you nowhere but lighter on the wallet. You need to talk to someone? Vent to a female friend who you have no intention of f*cking. Mad about it? Hit a punching bag. Truly want to get over something? Do what Espi said. If that doesn't work, consider professional help. But know going into it, that it is a racket.

I would consider going to talk with a preacher or somebody like that. Just my opinion.
 
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