"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

seduced by my moms friend

Moofahsa

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 2, 2007
Messages
203
Reaction score
3
Location
Deep South
Had a few tooooo many 7 and 7's and met up with one of my moms friend at a bar. Well I ran out of cash and told her to buy me a drink or 5, she said as long as you come home and make sure i fall asleep....

Well its 4am and I nailed that 2 hours ago. I didn't want to and thought it was harmless at the time but holy damn she gave me head and the next thing i know i'm mounting that ass.

i feel all weird to bang one of my moms friend and having her say I love you 50 times didn't help. I chunked duece and ran to my car with a beer stumbling out the door...drove to a parking lot down the street and called a friend ot "drive" me home. It all went well his g/f was pissed but what ever.

This lady is at my house 5 or more times a week, what do I do? oh my god...holy ****
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

Moofahsa

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 2, 2007
Messages
203
Reaction score
3
Location
Deep South
ight

to be honest I knew what was going to happen and i followed through anyway.

But damn I hadn't got laid in a while now I'm all weirded out

Stupid stupid stupid stupid
 

Moofahsa

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 2, 2007
Messages
203
Reaction score
3
Location
Deep South
omg i just took a shower and pulled one of her gray ass hairs off me damn wtf i wana bathe myself in fuggin gasoline

she is not unattractive ut one of my moms friends

tomorrow i'm gunna regret life i know it
 

Skel

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 5, 2003
Messages
1,721
Reaction score
10
how did you wind up meeting her at the bar?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Stuntmann

Banned
Joined
Aug 25, 2007
Messages
326
Reaction score
0
Location
MIA
Same thing. Except seduction was mutual and I wasn't drunk. There is nothing to it, mother fvcker.
 

Moofahsa

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 2, 2007
Messages
203
Reaction score
3
Location
Deep South
dang this is weird

i was just at the bar and she was there to? theres only 3 bars in my town so you know.

whats bad is i went to school with her son lol

oh well i'll just blow this off and try and not think about it
 

Bonez

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 11, 2007
Messages
304
Reaction score
4
call up your friend and tell him you had sex with his mom.

Its better than her telling him, hes going to be weirded out even more by you than anything else.
 

Interceptor

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 25, 2007
Messages
2,609
Reaction score
135
Location
Florida
Dude, this is a funny story!
What are you stressing about??!

LOL!

Sh*t, this is common. man.
Don't let it stres syou.

Go on about your business, and stay cordial with her. Don't walk on eggshells for anybody.

Do not be an *******, and do not overly look for her, unless of course you want to bang that ass some more. Which is perfectly fine BTW..
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

kdnash82

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 5, 2006
Messages
530
Reaction score
8
Location
A land near you
i've done some older women in my time, but this is kinda gross. not really the fact that you did a old woman, not even the fact that she's old enough to be your mom, but the fact that she's your mom's friend, and you went to high school with her son.

eitherway, don't say anything about it. don't make it into some weird thing. act nonscelant (sp) about the whole thing. if you can keep your cool about the whole thing, and if you were good the first time around, she'll be coming back for seconds.

at that point it's up to you to decide if you want to go through with banging your mom's friend again. from the way to describe it, she knows what she's doing in the sack. i would keep her around for those dry spells.
 

ER!C L!VE

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 19, 2004
Messages
902
Reaction score
6
Age
52
Location
WORLDW!DE
Moofahsa said:
met up with one of my moms friend at a bar.
What's the story behind meeting her at the bar?
Did you ask her? Did she ask you? Did you flirt with her for months before that?

I'm more interested in hearing about the interaction that lead up to you closing the deal than your feelings and thoughts about the aftermath.
 

comic_relief

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 29, 2004
Messages
3,282
Reaction score
49
Location
Baltimore, MD
this is a very funny post. It sucks and I'm happy that I will never meet up with any of my family friends at a bar considering no one in my families social circle goes to bars. At least, that i know about. Plus, I don't go to bars very often.

comic_relief
 

Moofahsa

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 2, 2007
Messages
203
Reaction score
3
Location
Deep South
It was a weeknight, so the bar was pretty empty. I went to have a few drinks since I don't have to work today.

Uh...it was innocent as hell to begin with, we just bull****ted about what was going on with the city and gossiped about people we knew and stuff. She had a cousin of hers with her that I had met once a long time ago, we were just drinkin and bull****ting. I obviously had too much to drink as I'm still hung over as ****. She kept bringing me drink after drink after drink after drink, next thing I know I'm stumbling outside in the parking lot having to hold onto her. She drove my car to her house and her cousin took her car and went home. She said she "was going to make sure I'm not too drunk"

Uh, I really wasn't thinking about banging her when I went home with her. I was thinking "Bah I'll sleep it off over here and drive home in a few hours" Then I figured out she was more than willing....

Damn I'm freakin out, it was good and what not but :eek: shes not a grandma or anything but shes like 42.

Holy moly donut shop
 

ER!C L!VE

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 19, 2004
Messages
902
Reaction score
6
Age
52
Location
WORLDW!DE
No, bro. How did you get her to meet up with you at the bar.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Moofahsa

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 2, 2007
Messages
203
Reaction score
3
Location
Deep South
Not many peeps and she just sat down to talk to me since no one else was around. No game to it
 
Joined
Mar 18, 2006
Messages
3,956
Reaction score
37
You live in a small town? This is going to be in the town newspaper soon - "Read all about it"

This would be the title of the article..."Teenager has sex with a 72 year old woman - Dayuuuuum!"
 

Play the Game

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 5, 2007
Messages
680
Reaction score
6
Location
Nirvana
Hahaha nice dude.

Don't sweat it that's the most important part. Next time you see her don't make it weird, and be friendly to her. Who knows if she's over at your house so often you could be hitting that regularly. :crackup:

Just make sure your mom doesn't find out... **** now that would be awkward.
 

FlyBoyFoy

Banned
Joined
Sep 10, 2007
Messages
21
Reaction score
0
Age
45
Location
High Point,NC
Shyt dog whats the problem again? Woman chats u at the bar,gets you drunk, drive your're car, to her home, helps your' shlizzard arse, in to the (probably) Queen sized bed, brains you off and gave you some? Listen what town are you in? I'll come. And if you're still having issues with age, or relation to this woman, best believe you just got into shyt some guys only see in the movies, or on T.V. Don't be Dead Wrong dude... Be Dead On:woo:I made that up!! Keep poundin the Putang til' it stink!
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

Top