Ménage à Trois
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- Nov 22, 2013
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Here's a little university love story, followed by some opinions. I want to know given the circumstances of our relationship, is it ever possible to get back together again?
About a year ago on the night of a school organized Halloween dance when I first met Anne (not her real name), and I approached her for a lighter. She's French, one year younger than me (I'm 21). Do you know the feeling sometimes when you approach a girl and her eyes light up as if all the attention of the world was embodied in her and concentrated on you? I certainly felt that. We danced, talked and joked around, hugged as if we were best friends, and I couldn't even remember her name.
A week later, I asked a mutual friend to contact her for me, and ask her if she wanted to go to a salsa dance club on campus, as I needed someone of my height as a partner. She accepted, we danced, she later invited me to her dorm to spend the night, and that became the first of many nights. The sex was great, the chemistry couldn't have been better, and I actually enjoyed spending time with this girl.
Seeing how reactive this girl was towards, I decided to see how much I could make her fall in love with me. It was very successful, and the things she did to prove her love to me was nothing short of something out of a romantic novel. I felt I was treated like a king, while of course stringing her along every step of the way. I did not want a relationship.
Then on New Years Eve, Anne made a friendship bracelet for me, wrapped it around my wrist, and said "I don't care what you say, I love you, I want you, and I'm calling you my boyfriend." I stammered and protested, but it was such a loving gesture, I couldn't resist.
However, I felt like I was hitting a ceiling. A few months later, Anne began telling me how she wanted us to be forever, what it would be like to have children one day. One time, she had some sort of a blood test and they decided to check of she was pregnant. Luckily, she wasn't, but I later asked her what would she have done if she was pregnant, and she replied she would have kept it. Obviously it scared me a little.
So at one point, I really couldn't go any further, and I became passive towards her. My attention shifted heavily towards school, and I no longer did things to spice up the relationship. The August came, and her attention focused elsewhere, some guy she talked to on the bus exchanged numbers with her, and they continuously texted. She said she wanted to lead some guy on just to see how long she could do it. Because they lived close, they had some sort of contact everyday. I don't know the details, even though she told me of everything and offered to show me the texts, I never really bothered out of sheer confidence. That went on for a month, where I was so distracted with school I didn't realize what was actually happening. One day, she tells me he tried to kiss her, and she told him to stay away from there on. She told me, and I broke up with her immediately, but she begged for me to take her back.
The day after I broke us up, she walked 45 minutes from the end of the city's bus line to my place, sat down on the grass at a school next to my house, and told me she was there. She texted me she was there, and I told her to go home. 3 hours later, I go there to check if she's still at the same place. She was, and for 15 minutes I kept telling her to go home as she held on to my arm as I tried to walk away, begging in every which way for me to give her another chance. I told her I had no answer.
The next morning, Anne was gone, but her backpack was still there. I went back to sleep, and woke up 3pm. I called her asking how she forgot her backpack, she said she was downstairs, in the living room, where my mother happened to be all day, and talked with her for hours about what happened and how to get back with me. I didn't even know girls did that. That night, I told her to strip naked, go outside in the middle of the thunderstorm, and jump into the communal swimming pool right adjacent to my backyard, to prove her love to me. She did, I followed suit and fished her out of the water, and I agreed to take her back, but she wasn't allowed to orgasm for an entire month during sex, or even masturbate. She obliged, and had to take painkillers for an entire month because of the pain.
However, I couldn't bring myself to feel the same way about the relationship anymore, as it left a black stain that always hindered my feelings towards this girl. We fought from August to November, until we had fallen out of love with each other, becoming a selfish and resentful couple. We broke up early November, and it was quite an ugly one with angry texts and phone calls, and she took the liberty of dragging my friends into it to. I have lost a lot of respect for her and vice versa.
It's been two weeks, I've already started dating other girls, went out a couple times with friends to help clear my mind, but after meeting other girls that so poorly compared to Anne, and listening to the awful stories of other guys in relationships enduring situations far worse than me, I can't help but think that perhaps I was too harsh with this girl, and that she really does deserve a genuine chance.
So the question is, and god it's ****ing pathetic but I must know, should I get back with her? We've fallen out of love with each other (or at least she has apparently), and I can't imagine what I could possibly do to fix this. She's spending the night the first Monday of December so we could talk everything over and resolve this on a better note, but of course, anything could happen.
About a year ago on the night of a school organized Halloween dance when I first met Anne (not her real name), and I approached her for a lighter. She's French, one year younger than me (I'm 21). Do you know the feeling sometimes when you approach a girl and her eyes light up as if all the attention of the world was embodied in her and concentrated on you? I certainly felt that. We danced, talked and joked around, hugged as if we were best friends, and I couldn't even remember her name.
A week later, I asked a mutual friend to contact her for me, and ask her if she wanted to go to a salsa dance club on campus, as I needed someone of my height as a partner. She accepted, we danced, she later invited me to her dorm to spend the night, and that became the first of many nights. The sex was great, the chemistry couldn't have been better, and I actually enjoyed spending time with this girl.
Seeing how reactive this girl was towards, I decided to see how much I could make her fall in love with me. It was very successful, and the things she did to prove her love to me was nothing short of something out of a romantic novel. I felt I was treated like a king, while of course stringing her along every step of the way. I did not want a relationship.
Then on New Years Eve, Anne made a friendship bracelet for me, wrapped it around my wrist, and said "I don't care what you say, I love you, I want you, and I'm calling you my boyfriend." I stammered and protested, but it was such a loving gesture, I couldn't resist.
However, I felt like I was hitting a ceiling. A few months later, Anne began telling me how she wanted us to be forever, what it would be like to have children one day. One time, she had some sort of a blood test and they decided to check of she was pregnant. Luckily, she wasn't, but I later asked her what would she have done if she was pregnant, and she replied she would have kept it. Obviously it scared me a little.
So at one point, I really couldn't go any further, and I became passive towards her. My attention shifted heavily towards school, and I no longer did things to spice up the relationship. The August came, and her attention focused elsewhere, some guy she talked to on the bus exchanged numbers with her, and they continuously texted. She said she wanted to lead some guy on just to see how long she could do it. Because they lived close, they had some sort of contact everyday. I don't know the details, even though she told me of everything and offered to show me the texts, I never really bothered out of sheer confidence. That went on for a month, where I was so distracted with school I didn't realize what was actually happening. One day, she tells me he tried to kiss her, and she told him to stay away from there on. She told me, and I broke up with her immediately, but she begged for me to take her back.
The day after I broke us up, she walked 45 minutes from the end of the city's bus line to my place, sat down on the grass at a school next to my house, and told me she was there. She texted me she was there, and I told her to go home. 3 hours later, I go there to check if she's still at the same place. She was, and for 15 minutes I kept telling her to go home as she held on to my arm as I tried to walk away, begging in every which way for me to give her another chance. I told her I had no answer.
The next morning, Anne was gone, but her backpack was still there. I went back to sleep, and woke up 3pm. I called her asking how she forgot her backpack, she said she was downstairs, in the living room, where my mother happened to be all day, and talked with her for hours about what happened and how to get back with me. I didn't even know girls did that. That night, I told her to strip naked, go outside in the middle of the thunderstorm, and jump into the communal swimming pool right adjacent to my backyard, to prove her love to me. She did, I followed suit and fished her out of the water, and I agreed to take her back, but she wasn't allowed to orgasm for an entire month during sex, or even masturbate. She obliged, and had to take painkillers for an entire month because of the pain.
However, I couldn't bring myself to feel the same way about the relationship anymore, as it left a black stain that always hindered my feelings towards this girl. We fought from August to November, until we had fallen out of love with each other, becoming a selfish and resentful couple. We broke up early November, and it was quite an ugly one with angry texts and phone calls, and she took the liberty of dragging my friends into it to. I have lost a lot of respect for her and vice versa.
It's been two weeks, I've already started dating other girls, went out a couple times with friends to help clear my mind, but after meeting other girls that so poorly compared to Anne, and listening to the awful stories of other guys in relationships enduring situations far worse than me, I can't help but think that perhaps I was too harsh with this girl, and that she really does deserve a genuine chance.
So the question is, and god it's ****ing pathetic but I must know, should I get back with her? We've fallen out of love with each other (or at least she has apparently), and I can't imagine what I could possibly do to fix this. She's spending the night the first Monday of December so we could talk everything over and resolve this on a better note, but of course, anything could happen.
