Having the ability to convince someone to your way of thinking and getting what you want is a valuable skill. The art of persuasion originates from our infancy. Toddlers are fully aware of how to get their way through manipulating temper tantrums. As we progress through adulthood, more sophistication is required. With this skill you can virtually get anything you desire. It’s secret lies within the way in which you ask. If a complete stranger came up to us and said “hey can you do me a favor”, our first reaction might be “it depends”. Now depending on what the favor was a secondary response might be “what’s in it for me”. If they reworded it slightly to “I need you to do me a favor” you might be more inclined to capitulate. Benefits include; saves you time, money, frustration, reduces arguments, helps you get what you desire all while winning the crowd or individual over without threats, bribes or scare tactics.
The art of persuasion can be found in many aspects in everyday scenarios. Hostage negotiators rely on persuasion tactics to diffuse hostile situations, diplomats charismatic personalities win votes, sales people entice you to purchase, advertisers tempt you with desire, employee’s negotiating a pay raise, supervisors motivating a workforce, parents raising children, con artists making claims, etc. It can also be applied in your own personal life; persuading a co-worker/family member to your concept, seducing a girl back to your place, disarming an alpha-male in a bar, avoiding confrontation/resistance from her friends, charming the bartender/doorman, etc. It seems that everywhere we look people are persuading us by influencing our decisions. If you ever bought a cell phone, house, a car, etc the sales person most likely used some manipulation tactics to lead you where they wanted you to go. If you ever played card games, chess, sports or anything competitive, intimidation tactics influenced the outcome. Knowing the tactics people utilize gives you an inside advantage and you can even introduce counter-measures to circumvent them from leading you astray.
Essential components of persuasion include; observation, negotiation, motivation and inspiration. Ideal results are ones that produce win/win situations. Mastering the art of Persuasion requires a few things be in place to utilize it’s full potential;
1) CREDIBILITY-people have to sense your word is your bond. You can demonstrate this by any awards you have attained, past experience, education, letters of recognition/praise, money back guarantee, endorsements from peers, pictures, etc.
2) PERCEPTION-your reputation for success, your avatar/clothes, if you are famous, title of authority, nobility, etc
3) VOCABRUARY-indicates your knowledge, comprehension, confidence, current information
4) SKILLS SET-your expertise in certain areas may be put to the test. U may have to lead by example from time to time. If you do have the skills people will trust you.
5) ADAPTABILITY-ability to ascertain various personality types, cold reading, body language, and then adjust plan to suit individual needs.
6) SUSPENDING DIS-BELIEF-if you make claims that sound too good to be true or appear unbelievable, people will be very reluctant to trust what you say.
FACTORS OF PERSUASION
PERSONALITY TYPES-It’s a fact that certain personalities clash, a good negotiator is aware of this. They realize there is no right & wrong, just a difference in perspective. Remember your goal should be to create a win/win outcome. A strong willed individual might not be willing to capitulate that easy just because you said so. Getting someone to compromise, concede or give in will require some secret tactical maneuvers.
PROBLEM PROJECTION-these guys throw their excuses at you from the very first interaction (I can’t right now I only have a few minutes, money is tight, I don’t give out my cell number, I don’t really need such n such right now, we have nothing in common, etc).
Let’s say you have a list of demands and won’t settle for less than what you ask for. A person hearing this may not agree with everything on that list and might consider a trade off (I can do number 1 but not all 3). They begin negotiating down your wants and their support is contingent on what’s in it for them. Let’s take a look at some traditional persuasion tactics commonly used.
1) Appetizer-instead of asking for a lot favors right off the bat; you could start with getting them to agree to one thing first. Once you have them committing to that decision (saying yes), then you can negotiate enhancements, upgrades, extras, etc. People tend to be more open and agreeable once they made a decision. Can you pick me up for a change…yes…cool, can we go to see a movie…great? Is it your turn to pay for the movie……cool, you rock……….now this does include popcorn right?. It’s a great price and all you are only going to get one?
COUNTER-TACTIC-if this is used on you, simply re-direct a cheap projection onto them. Smile and say “you got me to drive, go to the show, agree to pay , don’t force me to buy you popcorn too……..fair enough.
RESISTANCE-all I have is 20 bucks, my tuition, phone bill, etc was due Monday. I am really pressed for time, I really can’t right now. Again use negotiation to achieve a compromise and get them to agree to something. Hey all work and no play is no way to live. You deserve this, you worked hard so why not treat yourself. I know a place right around the corner that’s cheap and fast.
2) APPEAL TO HIGHER AUTHORITY-if someone asks you to do something you really don’t want to do or commit to simply tell them you have to run it by your superiors, girlfriend, wife, etc first. This takes the heat off you and makes the 3rd party the bad guy. It’s a tactic sales people use when negotiating a lower price. They always come back with concessions “ I could do that but only if you agree to……”
COUNTER-TACTIC-to circumvent this from happening just ask them “is there any reason preventing you from completing this transaction if we find something suitable. This tends to truncate the delay tactic (let me think about it and get back to you) people often insert when faced with a uncomfortable decision.
3) GAMBIT-a predictable response to your bait. Well since you only have a small down payment you really can’t get this luxury edition. It’s a little bit more but you do get a lot more features. Limited time only, must buy now, will sell out, reduce for quick sale, etc. Advertising at it’s best and people love getting something for next to nothing. Added features, a little “bit” more, must haves, sale, etc.
4) COMMON GROUND-when two parties are in total disagreement and are unwilling to compromise the initial solution is to seek out common ground and begin there. No matter how small, that is your point of origin, then build from there. You must get them to agree before you proceed. She wants to listen to country and you want classic rock, she asks you to buy her a drink and you want her to buy you the first round. If you are at an impasse, a quick solution may be to leave it up to chance (flip a coin, high card wins, enlist a 3rd unbiased party),
5) VICE TACTIC-this is where you keep redirecting it onto them and squeeze them for a better offer.
Them-here is our proposal
You-you’re going to have to make it worth my time and do better than this
Them-how much better, what were you thinking (counter-active)
You-make it worthy of my skill set, put it in writing.
6) PRINT POWER-Often people re-direct to a list, price schematic, rule book/guidelines. People tend to believe it more easily and put up less resistance when they see it in writing.
7) POUTING-a bit childish but you would be surprised how many adults still use this tactic. They get upset when they don’t get their way. So they resort to avoidance, frowning, pouting, etc.
8) GUILT TRIP-this is where the person makes you feel guilty, cheap, embarrassed, when they’re wants are rejected. Wow you can’t even do me one little favor, you are such a loser, I hate you.
9) BOYCOT/PROTEST/PICKIT-some resort to going on strike if you refuse their demands.
10) PERSISTANCE-this goes beyond perseverance, more irritating than anything. They ask, beg, plead over and over in hopes to wear you down, sooner or later you will give in.
11) NLP/REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY-somewhat difficult and takes years to master. You’re right, maybe I should ask someone who can handle it. After all it is rather complex, if you don’t want to help me out I understand.
12) COERCION/FEAR-people often resort to harm, threats, scare tactics to get what they want in desperate situations. Giving someone an ultimatum might work in hostage negotiations but rarely works in social situations. People have a lot more options today, competition is fierce and if you don’t follow through, people will soon realize you are not serious. Another downside is that people don’t want to deal with that much pressure (fear of losing their job, breaking up, etc) if they make a mistake.
13) INCENTIVES/REWARDS-some people are motivated by monetary incentives but others not so much. This works initially but after some time people expect a reward every time they do something and when they don’t, rebellion can occur. Some prefer mediocrity to doing any extra effort. Another downside is it also can be costly. Sharing responsibility, giving recognition, praise is the way to go.
14) RESPECT/POPULARITY-if people really like you, are attracted to you, famous, person of authority it’s hard to say no to them. Hot chics get favors, preferential treatment all the time, simply for their looks. Sincerity goes a long way too
The art of persuasion can be found in many aspects in everyday scenarios. Hostage negotiators rely on persuasion tactics to diffuse hostile situations, diplomats charismatic personalities win votes, sales people entice you to purchase, advertisers tempt you with desire, employee’s negotiating a pay raise, supervisors motivating a workforce, parents raising children, con artists making claims, etc. It can also be applied in your own personal life; persuading a co-worker/family member to your concept, seducing a girl back to your place, disarming an alpha-male in a bar, avoiding confrontation/resistance from her friends, charming the bartender/doorman, etc. It seems that everywhere we look people are persuading us by influencing our decisions. If you ever bought a cell phone, house, a car, etc the sales person most likely used some manipulation tactics to lead you where they wanted you to go. If you ever played card games, chess, sports or anything competitive, intimidation tactics influenced the outcome. Knowing the tactics people utilize gives you an inside advantage and you can even introduce counter-measures to circumvent them from leading you astray.
Essential components of persuasion include; observation, negotiation, motivation and inspiration. Ideal results are ones that produce win/win situations. Mastering the art of Persuasion requires a few things be in place to utilize it’s full potential;
1) CREDIBILITY-people have to sense your word is your bond. You can demonstrate this by any awards you have attained, past experience, education, letters of recognition/praise, money back guarantee, endorsements from peers, pictures, etc.
2) PERCEPTION-your reputation for success, your avatar/clothes, if you are famous, title of authority, nobility, etc
3) VOCABRUARY-indicates your knowledge, comprehension, confidence, current information
4) SKILLS SET-your expertise in certain areas may be put to the test. U may have to lead by example from time to time. If you do have the skills people will trust you.
5) ADAPTABILITY-ability to ascertain various personality types, cold reading, body language, and then adjust plan to suit individual needs.
6) SUSPENDING DIS-BELIEF-if you make claims that sound too good to be true or appear unbelievable, people will be very reluctant to trust what you say.
FACTORS OF PERSUASION
PERSONALITY TYPES-It’s a fact that certain personalities clash, a good negotiator is aware of this. They realize there is no right & wrong, just a difference in perspective. Remember your goal should be to create a win/win outcome. A strong willed individual might not be willing to capitulate that easy just because you said so. Getting someone to compromise, concede or give in will require some secret tactical maneuvers.
PROBLEM PROJECTION-these guys throw their excuses at you from the very first interaction (I can’t right now I only have a few minutes, money is tight, I don’t give out my cell number, I don’t really need such n such right now, we have nothing in common, etc).
Let’s say you have a list of demands and won’t settle for less than what you ask for. A person hearing this may not agree with everything on that list and might consider a trade off (I can do number 1 but not all 3). They begin negotiating down your wants and their support is contingent on what’s in it for them. Let’s take a look at some traditional persuasion tactics commonly used.
1) Appetizer-instead of asking for a lot favors right off the bat; you could start with getting them to agree to one thing first. Once you have them committing to that decision (saying yes), then you can negotiate enhancements, upgrades, extras, etc. People tend to be more open and agreeable once they made a decision. Can you pick me up for a change…yes…cool, can we go to see a movie…great? Is it your turn to pay for the movie……cool, you rock……….now this does include popcorn right?. It’s a great price and all you are only going to get one?
COUNTER-TACTIC-if this is used on you, simply re-direct a cheap projection onto them. Smile and say “you got me to drive, go to the show, agree to pay , don’t force me to buy you popcorn too……..fair enough.
RESISTANCE-all I have is 20 bucks, my tuition, phone bill, etc was due Monday. I am really pressed for time, I really can’t right now. Again use negotiation to achieve a compromise and get them to agree to something. Hey all work and no play is no way to live. You deserve this, you worked hard so why not treat yourself. I know a place right around the corner that’s cheap and fast.
2) APPEAL TO HIGHER AUTHORITY-if someone asks you to do something you really don’t want to do or commit to simply tell them you have to run it by your superiors, girlfriend, wife, etc first. This takes the heat off you and makes the 3rd party the bad guy. It’s a tactic sales people use when negotiating a lower price. They always come back with concessions “ I could do that but only if you agree to……”
COUNTER-TACTIC-to circumvent this from happening just ask them “is there any reason preventing you from completing this transaction if we find something suitable. This tends to truncate the delay tactic (let me think about it and get back to you) people often insert when faced with a uncomfortable decision.
3) GAMBIT-a predictable response to your bait. Well since you only have a small down payment you really can’t get this luxury edition. It’s a little bit more but you do get a lot more features. Limited time only, must buy now, will sell out, reduce for quick sale, etc. Advertising at it’s best and people love getting something for next to nothing. Added features, a little “bit” more, must haves, sale, etc.
4) COMMON GROUND-when two parties are in total disagreement and are unwilling to compromise the initial solution is to seek out common ground and begin there. No matter how small, that is your point of origin, then build from there. You must get them to agree before you proceed. She wants to listen to country and you want classic rock, she asks you to buy her a drink and you want her to buy you the first round. If you are at an impasse, a quick solution may be to leave it up to chance (flip a coin, high card wins, enlist a 3rd unbiased party),
5) VICE TACTIC-this is where you keep redirecting it onto them and squeeze them for a better offer.
Them-here is our proposal
You-you’re going to have to make it worth my time and do better than this
Them-how much better, what were you thinking (counter-active)
You-make it worthy of my skill set, put it in writing.
6) PRINT POWER-Often people re-direct to a list, price schematic, rule book/guidelines. People tend to believe it more easily and put up less resistance when they see it in writing.
7) POUTING-a bit childish but you would be surprised how many adults still use this tactic. They get upset when they don’t get their way. So they resort to avoidance, frowning, pouting, etc.
8) GUILT TRIP-this is where the person makes you feel guilty, cheap, embarrassed, when they’re wants are rejected. Wow you can’t even do me one little favor, you are such a loser, I hate you.
9) BOYCOT/PROTEST/PICKIT-some resort to going on strike if you refuse their demands.
10) PERSISTANCE-this goes beyond perseverance, more irritating than anything. They ask, beg, plead over and over in hopes to wear you down, sooner or later you will give in.
11) NLP/REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY-somewhat difficult and takes years to master. You’re right, maybe I should ask someone who can handle it. After all it is rather complex, if you don’t want to help me out I understand.
12) COERCION/FEAR-people often resort to harm, threats, scare tactics to get what they want in desperate situations. Giving someone an ultimatum might work in hostage negotiations but rarely works in social situations. People have a lot more options today, competition is fierce and if you don’t follow through, people will soon realize you are not serious. Another downside is that people don’t want to deal with that much pressure (fear of losing their job, breaking up, etc) if they make a mistake.
13) INCENTIVES/REWARDS-some people are motivated by monetary incentives but others not so much. This works initially but after some time people expect a reward every time they do something and when they don’t, rebellion can occur. Some prefer mediocrity to doing any extra effort. Another downside is it also can be costly. Sharing responsibility, giving recognition, praise is the way to go.
14) RESPECT/POPULARITY-if people really like you, are attracted to you, famous, person of authority it’s hard to say no to them. Hot chics get favors, preferential treatment all the time, simply for their looks. Sincerity goes a long way too
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