"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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second date but she makes it hard to arrange.

tony-montana

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[10:37:42 pm] me: drag me to hell.
[10:37:45 pm] me: oOoOo
[10:38:43 pm] her: hey?
[10:40:05 pm] me: its a movie
[10:40:06 pm] me: lol
[10:40:14 pm] her: right ! :p
[10:40:16 pm] her: ive never heard of it
[10:40:19 pm] her: what genre is it
[10:40:25 pm] me: horror/thriller.
[10:40:33 pm] her: no thanks
[10:40:34 pm] her: :p
[10:40:45 pm] me: aww dont worry. you can hide under my jacket
[10:41:11 pm] her: lol ,thanks, but no thanks, im not watching it.
[10:41:39 pm] me: is sarah a scardy cat
[10:41:40 pm] me: :p
[10:41:59 pm] her: lol no not really
[10:42:04 pm] her: it just doesnt interest me

i didnt really know what to say to be honest. she sounds hard to please and it put me off at that point. by the time i came back this happened:

[10:52:41 pm] me: ahh that was good stir fry
[10:52:43 pm] me: mm
[10:53:10 pm] her: ill leave you to it, i gotta go to bed. :)
[10:53:39 pm] me: haha okay. talk soon sarah ... gnite :)
[10:54:21 pm] her: nite :)

and i have to travel past the city for this cause its near her works apparently. basically its easier for her.

btw this is our second date we are planning. and p.s i dont have a car im on holidays here for couple weeks. id have to catch two trains and a bus to make this work. and this would be at night. too much hassle im thinkin of cancelling.

oh and she told me today she doesnt wanna go to the wedding of my friends now.. i invited her last night but she reckons it'll be too awkward n stuff cause she doesnt know them. meh.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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fertileTurtle

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Just add her as a facebook friend and forget about her for a while. Don't contact her and see what she does.
 

909pua

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tony-montana said:
[10:37:42 pm] me: drag me to hell.
[10:37:45 pm] me: oOoOo
[10:38:43 pm] her: hey?
[10:40:05 pm] me: its a movie
[10:40:06 pm] me: lol
[10:40:14 pm] her: right ! :p
[10:40:16 pm] her: ive never heard of it
[10:40:19 pm] her: what genre is it
[10:40:25 pm] me: horror/thriller.
[10:40:33 pm] her: no thanks
[10:40:34 pm] her: :p
[10:40:45 pm] me: aww dont worry. you can hide under my jacket
[10:41:11 pm] her: lol ,thanks, but no thanks, im not watching it.
[10:41:39 pm] me: is sarah a scardy cat
[10:41:40 pm] me: :p
[10:41:59 pm] her: lol no not really
[10:42:04 pm] her: it just doesnt interest me

i didnt really know what to say to be honest. she sounds hard to please and it put me off at that point. by the time i came back this happened:

[10:52:41 pm] me: ahh that was good stir fry
[10:52:43 pm] me: mm
[10:53:10 pm] her: ill leave you to it, i gotta go to bed. :)
[10:53:39 pm] me: haha okay. talk soon sarah ... gnite :)
[10:54:21 pm] her: nite :)

and i have to travel past the city for this cause its near her works apparently. basically its easier for her.

btw this is our second date we are planning. and p.s i dont have a car im on holidays here for couple weeks. id have to catch two trains and a bus to make this work. and this would be at night. too much hassle im thinkin of cancelling.

oh and she told me today she doesnt wanna go to the wedding of my friends now.. i invited her last night but she reckons it'll be too awkward n stuff cause she doesnt know them. meh.
how was your first date? was there alot of KINO? She might be the kind of girl that she expected you to flirt, touch, KINO, etc etc and since you didn't do it the first date (which i may be wrong), she may have lost interest. Girls will do guys they are interested in, especially on the first date, depending on how you play the game...like what other ppl in here say, they think about sex as much as we do and will be hos about it on the first date.
 

Guitar_Whizz

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I would just ask her straight "Do you want to get together sometime this week? You said the movie doesn't interest you, so let's meet for a coffee and and a chat, what night/day are you free".

If she doesn't give you a straight answer, then then tell her straight "I need you to be honest with me if you see this going anywhere or not? I'm looking for a lover, or a lover who can also be a friend. Let me know if we're on the same page or not, otherwise don't waste my time".

That way, you'll get your answer either way. If you let her 'toy' with you by not getting a straight answer about whether she wants to meet up again or not, then you're setting yourself up for frustration and time wasting.

If she gives you anything other than a straight yes/no answer, leave her alone for a while and let her chase you.
 

fertileTurtle

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909pua said:
how was your first date? was there alot of KINO? She might be the kind of girl that she expected you to flirt, touch, KINO, etc etc and since you didn't do it the first date (which i may be wrong), she may have lost interest. Girls will do guys they are interested in, especially on the first date, depending on how you play the game...like what other ppl in here say, they think about sex as much as we do and will be hos about it on the first date.
Good point from pua. You may just want to go for broke and start talking a little dirty to her, see what she does.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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tony-montana

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well i am sure as hell not going all the way to the city again .. on the first date i did. she took me back to where im staying though. i guess that was nice on her behalf. but for us to see this movie id have to take two trains n a bus. prolly more than an hours worth travel. i touched her alot on the first date. on the shoulders, massaged her. kissed her cheek. but yeah, i'm leaving this state next week, going back home. so not worth the hassle.
 

Atom Smasher

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Here's the solution, guys:

Dont text!!

Texting makes her a different person than if she's talking to you directly. It is very easy to type, "Not interested" into a machine.

She cannot feel you when she texts, and also, take this one to the bank:

When a woman engages in texting with you, she will very frequently misinterpret what you are saying. My advice is to stay away from texting as much as possible and engage her personally instead.
 
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