Second Date and Paying

[jboyd5]

New poster here, also new to dating.

I went out with this girl I am interested in and had some drinks. I paid for her's as well and am wondering if she will be expecting me to pay for our date tonight [wine bar, then going to eat at another place].

Another question I have is about starting the second date where we left off with the first. We kissed a couple times and went on our way. Should I go for the kiss as soon as I see her?

Thanks!

 

[bigneil]

Yes, the man pays for the date. You are taking her out to dinner as part of the mating ritual. It's called courting, (as in the Court of the Crimson King). You want to have sex with her, correct? So you want her to take the chance of totally trusting you 100% and maybe you getting her pregnant? But you can't afford wine? You're supposed to be able to afford diapers, nevermind dinner.

That said, every few dates (regularly, maybe one out of 4 or 5) your date should pay. I made my last girlfriend cover about 20-25% of our dates. Why 20-25%? I said "That's your gratuity - you are tipping me".

Truth be told, the only way a woman can comfortably raise 2 kids in 2017 is if her husband has at least $1 Million. Otherwise it's working poor with both of them struggling for 20 years, just to raise some entitled, force-vaccinated, state-educated, big-pharma medicated brat.

 

[bigneil]

It's ok to go for the kiss at the beginning of the date. If she says no, you go Dutch.

 

[The Duke]

Handle it how you feel is best for you. You set the tone of what is expected. Just remember that if you go down the road of paying 80% of the time, she will expect that to continue and it will be very difficult to change.

If I am going to pay for everything 100% of the time then by all means we will operate by my rules and the relationship will be on my terms, and none of them ever like that.

Look at it like this, if she isn't willing to agree to your terms then her interest level isn't high enough and she isn't very flexible. Girls like that aren't good long term prospects and are too entitled.

 

[bigneil]

As long as you earn way more than her per hour, it's almost an even swap - you put an hour in and so does she. In fact, that is a fair way to split things.

Example: you make $40 an hour and she makes $8 an hour, so if you both work an hour she chips in $8 and you chip in $40 and you have $48 for dinner.

 

[bigneil]

this is great

My happiest moment with my last girlfriend was 2 months ago today. With her in the blue Star Trek dress and on our way to her sexiest photo shoot ever, I pulled the car over and said "I'll explain later, but kiss me" and we made out (i.e., French kissed) for 20 seconds. I was playing Thomas Dolby "She Blinded Me with Science". I told her after the kiss that my first kiss in 1983 was on my then-girlfriend's 13th birthday (I was 12, so even then my women were half my age plus 7). I relived that with her. Ironically, her BPD showed up but she reverted to age 13 when she was a virgin, and got back with her father (who left her family when she was 13) and her high school friends (she is now with a guy she met when she was 13). She sent me a photo from when she was 13.