Second Chance?

[aballer2323]

So there was a girl that i dated/got very close to at the beginning of the year. After about 2 or so months, she told me that she "just doesnt feel sure about me right now" and just called the whole thing off..

After that, I went NC for a while and now been a few months and she's started to slowly initiate convos with me again. How should i react? Am I holding onto false hope and trying to salvage a sinking ship? Or is there something there and I should just take it slow?

Appreciate the thoughts, gentlemen.

 

[Cerwin Vega]

Don't play along. Let her sweat for your attention.

 

[GS750]

If she initiates be friendly but short. I'd limit the convo to 3-4 texts. I'd be careful about initiating contact with her though, let her do it. I've had a situation similar to this recently and since early July she has initiated every single time we've had contact. So keep it limited contact until you know for sure she's not just using you for attention/ego boost. Corey Wayne had a good video on this type of situation that gave me some perspective:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKNgZW34gUU&list=LLwkd16emUWCbe49OnslGhIA&index=2

 

[hudpes]

If she initiates be friendly but short.

Let her sweat for your attention.

This. She said she wasn't sure, so the ball is in her court, and she really has to kick it, not just tap it a little. You should understand this whole situation as: it's off, unless a miracle happens. Sometimes it does, but mostly, no.

 

[aballer2323]

What you guys said makes sense.. So really there isnt much for me to do but sit back and chill?

 

[GS750]

Yep. Wait for her to contact you. Then go from there. If she's interested you'll hear from her.

 

[Krueg]

This is your life man, you can take her back if you want. But, most of the time it doesnt work out and she will dump you harder than the last time. I been in your shoes, I know it sucks, you still might think about her and have memories... Hell I got dumped 2 and half weeks ago but, got a date lined up this saturday! Funny how life is sometimes...

Anyways, I think about some of my EX's and think; "Thank God I'm not with her anymore!" Theres plenty of fish in the sea, usually the next one is better and all over you!

 

[mangotot]

She dumped you. She had a chance but blew it. Its her loss. Don't get back with her.

 

[aballer2323]

Thanks for the responses. One caveat is that I feel like I was the one that blew it before.. I did everything that I wasn't supposed to do: told her my feelings too early, acted too needy, etc etc and it sort of made her lose interest/push her away.. Now I'm just a much different person and no long desperate. Given all that, does it change anything?

 

[GS750]

Well you didn't continue to pursue, you backed off. So she may have been wondering why. That's why you have to let her come to you. Patience.

 

[bcollarmechanic]

shes lonely and craving your attention, well thats bs, shes craving a guys attention any guy, she just thought you were the easiest guy to get attention from because she dumped you and knows you were hurt by it

even if she contacts you ignore her or keep the conversation short, let her know youre busy and you have a lot on your plate and you cant really talk

 

[dk1990S111]

If she initiates be friendly but short. I'd limit the convo to 3-4 texts. I'd be careful about initiating contact with her though, let her do it. I've had a situation similar to this recently and since early July she has initiated every single time we've had contact. So keep it limited contact until you know for sure she's not just using you for attention/ego boost. Corey Wayne had a good video on this type of situation that gave me some perspective:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKNgZW34gUU&list=LLwkd16emUWCbe49OnslGhIA&index=2

Corey Wayne is great, I have learned lots from him from his videos

 

[Krueg]

Well, now you know where she stands, her interest isnt high enough.. I just recently asked for a number and date the other day. She said YES, followed by sending me some sexual photos over facebook... That is high interest in my book... If she is un-sure, flakes, or counter-offers she is not that in to you! Not trying to brag, just showing you an example of how to root out and NEXT certin women.

 

[stevo]

If you haven't fvcked her yet then that should be your priority whenever she initiates. Get that out the way. If she starts talking about you being serious or you not putting in as much, ask her what's changed since the last time she wasn't sure and now?