What else did I think there was too it? Well,lot's. It seemed to me that in order for it to work for you, you had to be this person I feel I am not, so sort of an identity crisis perhaps. Also, due to depression,and a mistrust I want to say, just not having the motivation to do it. Yeah, I want to women and get laid, but I just lack the spark. I am pretty sure I have long term depression,so that has something to do with it. Also, this feeling of not havin a gameplan so to say. Plus, the way I see the world. I have always seen things in this negative manner, which seems real to me.
I mean, I want to be that guy, have that sucees, but idk, due to a lack of it, it seems hard for me to attain. I have this idea of being on top/powerful, yet feeling so behind all of that. I mean, it's like I have yet to find that side in me, I know it's there, I just can't turn it on so to say. Or it comes out wrong.
I mean,seriously. This feeling of all this time passed with nothing, you would think I would have reversed it. But there is some deep seated wound(s) there. Some feeling of not feeling complete, even powerless,or un-masculine like. This concerns me for obvious reasons.